Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers

[scrobytilt]

Re: Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers

A. SCARY! DISNEY CHARACTERS ARE SATAN

Q. How much is that doggy in the window?

[alster1]

Re: Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers

A: 2 munny
Q: mommy, whats wrong with me?

[darklordsarumon9]

Re: Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers

A : Im not your mommy, but come with me.

Q : Who wants to be my mommy?

[evilcowgod]

Re: Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers

A: *points to the homeless guy in the corner*
Q: why is it whenever I drink coffee aisle we start bouncing off the walls is it because I put too much sugar in it?

[darklordsarumon9]

Re: Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers

A : A song for you.

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough --
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

Q : Can I sing?

[evilcowgod]

Re: Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers

A: Never again
Q: Caffine overdose?

[darklordsarumon9]

Re: Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers

A : Can't happen.

Q : Crack Overdose?

[evilcowgod]

Re: Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers

A: Mayyybe.
Q: THC Overdose?

[darklordsarumon9]

Re: Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers

A : 50 lbs would do that.

Q : Moar dinner?

[evilcowgod]

Re: Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers

A: Yes please.
Q: When is he coming back?

[Adamaja456]

Re: Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers

A: cuz i said so

Q: how many letters are in the answer to this question?

[evilcowgod]

Re: Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers

A: Four.
Q: He's not coming back, is he?

[FlAmEThr0w3r]

Re: Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers

A: He came back before he left.

Q: Why is the rain melting my flesh?

[evilcowgod]

Re: Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers

A: It's probably god trying to destroy is own creation.
Q: What the ****?

[darklordsarumon9]

Re: Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers

A : Shoop da woop!

Q : How do i Shot web?