Chapter 0- Foreword
~~

* This chart is conceptually interesting, but the abstracted 24ths that come in at 52.390 don’t really work in my opinion--they feel both too continuous and too choppy.
→ They add constant density to a song that, despite new ambient sound, is quite broken--both the melody and the click squelch sounds are very in-and-out.
→ Too choppy: Outside of the bursts, the song is mostly 16ths. As a result, using 24ths creates ghosted 16th/24th polyrhythms left and right. Considering these are often mixed up together on the same hand (52.527, 53.845, etc) they can’t really be kinaesthetically disentangled into two separate rhythms either. This creates a lot of inconsistency in rhythm, which both feels arbitrary and lessens the impacts of the bursts which are *actually* inconsistent in rhythm (which, to this point, I’d describe as a central theme of the chart).

So, they’ll need to be reworked. It might be best just to up your layering in some capacity (melody jumps?) when the ambient sound comes in and scrap the abstraction entirely, but if you’re set on including it, you’ll need to remove the nonexistent polyrhythms. There are a variety of possible solutions to this; DM me if you want more detailed thoughts or suggestions.

~

0.051 etc: Suggest matching pattern with 8.778. Makes it more visually clear that this whole thing is a flam, on my first playtest I couldn’t quite discern if this was a 24th jump or colour theory.
8.176: ~25ms early, should be on the beat or the 192nd before.
12.596, 21.323, etc: Hand feels excessive here. This sound really isn’t that strong--moreover, at 12.596, there hasn’t even been a jump yet in the chart, and at 21.323 the sound feels heavily overshadowed by the hand to the kick/melody/piano combo at 21.846. Conversely, burst expression just afterward feels too tame; there is at the very least a 32nd triplet at 12.710.
15.982: Also feels a little empty. Maybe a rolly 48th bridge here? (e.g. https://i.imgur.com/58IBU55.png ) See also 33.436.
23.800: What’s this for? If it’s for the little click triplet that starts on the 8th, that’s closer to 32nds.
32.482, 49.720, 67.176: These three right hand trills are rather notably more aggressive than the others in the file, equating to ~278 bpm 5-note OHTs. Fine in themselves, but you may want to clean up some transitions around them (e.g. 49.720 has some weight on column 3 leading in and some weight on column 4 leading out, which makes it particularly intense and draining).
34.118: Why is this so much more aggressive than 16.664? It’s the same sound, and it doesn’t make sense to chart this so heavily when 33.436 is left so completely empty.
42.845, 51.572: There are clear 24ths here, using this current nonsense rhythm doesn’t really make sense.
47.504: I think these white notes are overexpressed throughout the chart, but they particularly start becoming problematic here. The 16th jack pattern formed from 47.345-47.754 requires way too much control for how chill the song is here.
48.118: Why not 21? Currently this is inconsistent with your one-handed motif for this pattern from earlier, and also forces a musically-irrelevant 3-note 16th jack on column 4.
51.140: Starts late, better at 51.114.
80.483: Clearly same pitch as 79.937. Rework PR to accommodate.

Overall, I think cleanliness is the barrier to acceptance at the moment. Abstracting the clicks and squelches does make sense, but there are some conspicuous gaps where the sound is very much still going, and also some places where it’s winding down and yet still charted aggressively. As mentioned, the ending 24ths also feel chaotic in a bad way. I’d also recommend keeping an eye out for column collisions like the ones mentioned at 47.504 and 48.118, particularly in the back half where the song becomes busier--those can also make patterns feel too continuous for the song, which again, is quite broken. [6.5/10]

Judge Score: 6.50 - Rejected