Online Dating

[HeLGeN-X]

How do you all feel about online dating?
To be honest, like 2 years ago, I thought it was the most stupidest thing ever. I was like "Oh it's so stupid, you can't even touch the person, can't kiss them, blah blah blah."
Now I have a different view on it, it's like one of the best ways to meet people (especially when you are anti-social, although I'm not TOO anti-social.)
Better yet, let me an explanation about what I think about it.

So here we are, on a DDR site (FFR, DDR, same thing.) A place for people interested in DDR. Play some FFR, talk about it like "yeah I AAA'd this, and that!", then someone comes along, like for instance in my point of view, a girl goes "Yeah I AAA'd that too!" then you start getting to know each other, and it's cool because you are obviously both interested in DDR. Then you get to talking, you find out that you both most likely have a lot of other same interests, then suddenly you might find yourselves "online dating", or "dating" in other words... see how it ends up into dating? It's so cool, online dating. You meet someone in the same area of your interests, it makes it so much easier, and cuts out the "so what do you like" conversations a lot, making it easier to talk to each other.
I met someone on xanga, interested in DDR. We start talking, commenting on each others comment thingy. Then I email her, and it turns out that she was actually in love with me... I was so overwhelmed, I never thought anyone would be so in love with me like that, and I was very thankful to the internet, that I have most likely found my soulmate.
I'm going to visit her in California this month, we talk on the phone almost everyday, she is such a cool person... but anyway, back to the topic.
So yeah, I think it's a very cool, fun, and interesting way to meet people, and it's even better that you can meet them in the same place of interest, because it makes it very easy, and obvious to who the person is (but it's not always 100%, but hey, what the hell.)
We could also split this into a "My online love and me" topic too, but if you feel it's too stupid to talk about, then don't.

[CalibreneGuru]

I feel the same way you do Helgen, and I think most people think it is stupid until it happens to them, or at least that's how it generally happens around here. You usually start to like someone in real life because of common interests, you think they are funny/they think you are funny, they are easy to talk to, ect. You can experience all of that online, granted it gets really frustrating when you can't see them as often as you like but you just have to deal with it.

[TheAppleEater]

I think its to easy for the other person to hide stuff from you (Age, looks, sex, etc.). I think i would make friends over the internet and have it go no further than that. I probably also think like this because a friend of mine that live 2 hours away played a prank on me and acted like they were someone else (made up person) and acted like they were interested in me in that way. But if you are lucky enough to find someone truthful of online that follow through as much as you want.

[CyanoticXtC]

Thats the only default in online relationships.. The whole trust thing, which is in every relationship.
I do think online relationships are good. The internet amplifies your ability to meet more and more people. If you sitck to just your area- there really aren't that many choices.

[HeLGeN-X]

Originally Posted by CyanoticXtC

Thats the only default in online relationships.. The whole trust thing, which is in every relationship.

Ahhh... I completely forgot about that... yeah that is a major problem, but luckily I've actually met a lot of people in reality from the net, and they were who they said they were lol. Although, some of them were very strange in reality...

[CyanoticXtC]

I, personally, did an online relationship once. But in a way it wasnt really that- it was a friend's cousin who visited and i met. Never talked to her until i started talking to her online.. She was very cool and turned out to be someone i was really interested in, and she visited twice.. but after a while the distance thing does kinda kill the relationship. Like now- My current g/f of a year and 7 monthes. She moved 2 monthes ago 1500 miles away. But i'm not letting this relationship end like that, its too damn perfect. I'm moving there in 3 or 4 monthes =P

[ImEric12]

I don't care for it much, but if people like it, I'm not bothered by it.

[fusi0n]

a/s/l lolo

[lightdarkness]

The internet is a great place to meet people, I have met some great friends here on FFR, even that I am going to drive to their house in a few months.

However, a relationship were you can actually be with the person, is better; but it's great that you are going to meet her! Best wishes!

[jewpinthethird]

Originally Posted by TheAppleEater

I think its to easy for the other person to hide stuff from you (Age, looks, sex, etc.). I think i would make friends over the internet and have it go no further than that. I probably also think like this because a friend of mine that live 2 hours away played a prank on me and acted like they were someone else (made up person) and acted like they were interested in me in that way. But if you are lucky enough to find someone truthful of online that follow through as much as you want.

But didnt your brother have a good relationship with a girl he met over EQ?

[TheAppleEater]

Eh, heh, yeah... But I think it ended because of that trust thing. She thought he was cheating on her, but he wasn't.

[jazzmosis]

I've been with my girlfriend for 4 years now - and I met her through ICQ random chat. We didn't meet until a year had passed, but since then it's grown past a internet relationship where we talk to each other and visit each other more than we talk on a chat.

Here's a problem with internet dating though: The word "love". It gets thrown around so much because people THINK they love the other. But talking through the safety of a computer without body language, expressionism (don't tell me Emoticons are a good way, because they're not.) or seeing how the person reacts to interaction can create the illusion of love. I've had many girls I've talked to casually say they love(d) me, but I never did anything to lead them on - I'm just a nice person generally.

So I stand by what I've said in the past. There's two types of love, and a third category. There's full love - when you meet the person however (the conventional way or internet) but you've seen them in public, you've spent time to get to know them, and it's a bond you feel on more than a physical OR internet-level. (obviously, one will go with conventional, one with internet). Than there's "love", which is a strong friendship you feel with someone but it's based more on a specific quality (looks, or just what they type.) than full love, which takes everything into consideration. And trust me, a picture of someone isn't the same as seeing them in real life. The third isn't love. It's the sub-category of "illusional love" which is when a person on the internet or in reality becomes infatuated with how the person makes them feel about themselves and/or they read to much into what the other person does/types. This is typically a one-sided relationship where the other person doesn't know that this person is in illusional love with them, or simply does not feel the same way/doesn't care/has a partner already and the other person can't come to terms with these facts. It usually results in the obsessed one trying everything to break up a relationship (if already existing with another individual). That's typically the key. If they were in "love" or full love, they'd want the other person to be happy regardless of the gain they get out of it. Typically, the illusional love is held by people aged 12-15, and can border on 16. When you hit 17, that's when you begin to realize the reality of love, the concept it holds, and what comes with it.

Love is a bond between two people, not one. Love can never be one-sided. How can you say you love a person when you don't really know them? The internet is a great place to start relationships, sure, but there comes a point where either you make the effort to meet the person so you can really learn about them, or you decide it won't work out and give up or put it on hold. How long that time period is varies from person to person.

My theories about love and online dating.

[Laharl]

Internet dating is okay and all, as long as the people don't demand hours and hours of attention from the other (I mean, let them live their life, damn it). I've got a friend who's got an internet boyfriend that she basically has to drop all that she's doing to talk to the guy if he calls or else he gets mad at her. She's also not allowed to do anything, pretty much whatsoever, with any male friends. She's 16, for crying out loud. Let her have a social life.

Another thing that sucks is that the majority of girls, at least that I've met online, are 100% opposed to that sort of thing. I'm sort of prone to growing very attatched to people, even via the net, simply because.. well, let's just say I didn't have the happiest childhood, eh? I've fell for one girl really hard, and the only reason I haven't again is from how badly I got hurt from this first gal.

[Jam930]

I have no problem with, but I would never do it. Real life is just so much funner/more natural you know?

Over the internet, there is so much you just can't do with another person. Time differences and all are also a large part of the problem.

[suicidalmuskrat]

out of all my ex-es, the most successful ones have been the ones where we don't really have many surface interests in common...such as ffr, partying, and table tennis...so yes, it's cool when i go to forums and chats such as this and i meet someone who shares interests and who makes me laugh, but i know that ultimately what i look for are things you can't portray over the internet...i need to be able to look into someone's eyes when they say i love you, i need them to rub my head just b/c they know i like it, etc...i also agree with jazzmosis when he said that the word 'love' gets thrown around too much...i can't count how many times i've met someone online and before the end of the night they say they "love me"...those experiences taint, and ruin the fun of the experiences...basically, if you develop relationships over mutual interests, then the net is definitely a good place to look (as long as your parents are rediculously over protective)...

[TheTypist]

I'm not sure how to say that I agree with Jam930 without adding something that is devastatingly negative. So I'll just leave it at that.

[TheTypist]

Double post. Sorry

[Chrissi]

I will never again have an online relationship. The last one I had started out fairly good. But it's funny how you can think you know somebody and not actually know them. He was the sweetest, nicest, most caring guy I'd ever met. He was silly and was just everything I wanted.. we were together for 9 months or something like that. Then he dumped me with a 1-line email and cut off ALL contact for a few months, in which I tried to commit suicide.

He lived in england, so it wasn't like I could take a trip and see him. Well... he broke my heart and he was the last person I ever thought would do something like that. For real. I don't know how many times I hear people say that the person they've met is the most incredible and would never do something like that. And then you don't really believe them.. but I -knew- that he would never do something like that. Yet he did. We were so close and we shared everything. It still confuses me to this day how somebody like that could turn around so rapidly.

I talk to him now. I'm not sure why. And he says he can't tell me why he did what he did, but that he's sorry, yada yada... I have no way to believe him though.

[Jam930]

You're lucky he dumped you.

[Chrissi]

... um, I would agree, except that he dumped me in THE MOST HORRIBLE WAY POSSIBLE.