Funny exam assessment, answer all questions.

[Omeganitros]

Originally Posted by IronMonk

Why? : for without why there is no humanity, sociaty wouldn't be given the chance to crumble, english muffines would no longer exist, we as a people would still be having sex like animals. i wouldnt get to wear kilt on thursdays, we couldnt complain about politics. arnold swartsenegger wouldnt have been funny. the only way you would be seeing this is if i had written it on the back of a less intelegent creature. the english language would be short a few thousand words. no one would wonder why slime mold enjoys to confuze botanists. no one would laugh at the idiots on tv talking about how they made a quantam leap in teh fight against terrorisim, (quantum phisics is the study of phisics in things smaller then atoms) also we as a people would probly still have exsessive amounts of hair. and if you have every seen a middle aged german man without his shirt on you can attest to the discomfort i am talking about.

thus

Q:Why?

A:Because!

I believe that is an actual question on the finals if you take Psychology in college. There are two correct answers: "Why not?" and "Because."

[IronMonk]

ah i am talkign about the immediat impolications of what would happen if their was no why! so why = human concience. thus without why we would be only a less hairy form of ape, perhaps not even that.

[alainbryden]

Hehe, I have that exact poster in my Math class.

[alainbryden]

ps.

Final Exam

It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the local university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 700 students in the class!

The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. 1/2 hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.

"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet.

"Yes I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing. After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing. 1/2 hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.

"No you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late."

The student looked incredulous and angry.

"Do you know who I am?"

"No, as a matter of fact I don't," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.

"Are you sure that you don't know who I am?!" the student asked again.

"No, and I don't care." replied the professor with an air of superiority.

"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.

[alainbryden]

oh, and this is a site I found a long time ago with some answers to a very similar final exam.

[quote="http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/89q4/answers.667.html"]
Instructions: Read each question thoroughly. Answer all questions. Time limit: 4 hours. Begin immediately.

PUBLIC SPEAKING. 2500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.

The proper response is: "G'day mates! Yahoo Serious will be out in a few moments. While you're waiting, I'll just throw a few shrimp on the barby for ya, and you can help yourselves to a few pots of Foster's. Right? Right."

SOCIOLOGY. Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

The only problems would be from the car sales people and lawyers on why they can't get to the promised land. The lawyers will try to appeal, and the sales people will try to finance or trade one another (for less than blue book) to get in.

ENGINEERING. The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed in your desk. You will also find an instruction manual printed in Swahili. In ten minutes, a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.

Call management in room. Inform management that engineering has had enough of cleaning up after sales demos and will not tolerate this shit. Storm out of room leaving bewildered management to deal with dissasembled rifle and hungry tiger. I mean, if management had been on the ball, the gun would be assembled and the tiger would have been fed.

POLITICAL SCIENCE. There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.

Inform Kremlin that our entire nuclear arsenal accidentally launched towards them. This should start a major skirmish. After the exchange and near total destruction of the world, the only socio-political effect will be if we have enough shrimp and Fosters for the Aborigines who are still waiting for Yahoo Serious (they seemed to think that the big flash and noise was another Serious invention).

EPISTEMOLOGY. Take a position for or against the truth. Prove the validity of your position.

I speak the truth. Everything I say is a lie.

GENERAL KNOWLEDGE. Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

Life is a scam.

EXTRA CREDIT. Define the Universe. Give three examples.

Time is relative.
Time is money.
Money is relative.
Relatives cost money.
Time is relative, and don't let your relatives spend too much
time (or money).

ex 1: Aunt Irma visits.
ex 2: Aunt Irma won't leave.
ex 3: You wind up buying Aunt Irma a 1 way ticket to
anywhere. Thus depleting your vacation fund. Now you must
go back to work.
[\quote]