So I made a rap song

Arch0wl · 02-20-2011, 08:01 PM

Horizontal Line (feat. Yasunori Mitsuda)

I've been toying around with raps lately, thanks in part to Kommisar. Tell me what you think.

who_cares973 · 02-20-2011, 08:27 PM

that was pretty cool. flow could use more, uh, flow but other than that i was pretty dope

**i love you** · 02-20-2011, 08:52 PM

Haha awesome rap Arch0wl xd

**XXXsmittyXXX** · 02-20-2011, 08:59 PM

The voices of the universe are making you it's bitch

**DossarLX ODI** · 02-20-2011, 09:01 PM

lol this rap song

Sounds a bit monotonous

who_cares973 · 02-20-2011, 09:11 PM

im pretty sure the aim was to be monotonous

Arch0wl · 02-21-2011, 02:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by who_cares973

that was pretty cool. flow could use more, uh, flow but other than that i was pretty dope

If you can remember any specific areas which definitely need improvement, let me know.

AsphyxZero · 02-21-2011, 05:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DossarLX ODI

lol this rap song

Sounds a bit monotonous

everything you listen to is monotonous tho

Duplica · 02-21-2011, 06:47 AM

haha this is very nice. I'd maybe suggest having a little more life in your voice? Kinda like eminem's sarcastic approach to lyrics. To be that monotonous you gotta be black :P

DDRBaller123 · 02-21-2011, 11:27 AM

i'm bumpin this shit on my ipod

**ichliebekase** · 02-21-2011, 11:44 AM

Some of the words don't flow well, especially towards the ends of phrases. Kind of sounds like you used a program to say the words for you, especially with the monotonous speaking. Other than that it wasn't bad at all, I liked the instrumentation choices.

**kommisar** · 02-21-2011, 12:00 PM

keep it up man

Arch0wl · 02-22-2011, 08:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ichliebekase

Some of the words don't flow well, especially towards the ends of phrases.

Which phrases? Here are the lyrics, if it helps:

It's the importance of being earnest
Learn this before I castrate eviscerate and disembowel your pretentions
He mentions God doesn't play dice, what a shame
but I think it's great, because god likes heavy board games
Your life's deterministic and your choices aren't choices
they're voices of the universe making you its bitch
But you probably disagree; it's the just world bias
you're perceptually pious taking comfort in a lie
Go ahead, jump back -- go forth, deny
the rat pressing buttons for a piece of the pie
Another competitor on the pale blue dot
Going nutso wacko bonkers for a little bigger spot
So you watch some documentaries and connects some dots, woo
Society's not waiting to debut your point of view
It's not a sign intertwined aligned or benign
with your back supine witnessing the secrets unwind
It's not a signal of our sign of collapse
Our synapses running wild as the future begins to elapse
It's a glitch that you happened to stitch
into a meaningful pattern, now it's time to return -- time to learn

And so no force
however great
can stretch a cord
however fine
into a horizontal line
remaining absolutely straight

02-20-2011, 08:01 PM	#1
Arch0wl Banned Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: fb.com/a.macdonald.iv Age: 35 Posts: 6,344	So I made a rap song Horizontal Line (feat. Yasunori Mitsuda) I've been toying around with raps lately, thanks in part to Kommisar. Tell me what you think. Last edited by Arch0wl; 02-20-2011 at 08:16 PM..

02-20-2011, 08:27 PM	#2
who_cares973 FFR Player Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: :U Age: 35 Posts: 15,407	Re: So I made a rap song that was pretty cool. flow could use more, uh, flow but other than that i was pretty dope __________________

02-20-2011, 08:52 PM	#3
i love you Live a wonderful life~ Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 7,313	Re: So I made a rap song Haha awesome rap Arch0wl xd __________________ =============================== The idea that RDCP 3 may come out in the future is a fun thought to have~ ===============================

02-20-2011, 08:59 PM	#4
XXXsmittyXXX Anxiety monster Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Yorktown, VA Age: 35 Posts: 6,924	Re: So I made a rap song The voices of the universe are making you it's bitch __________________

02-20-2011, 09:11 PM	#6
who_cares973 FFR Player Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: :U Age: 35 Posts: 15,407	Re: So I made a rap song im pretty sure the aim was to be monotonous __________________

02-21-2011, 06:47 AM	#9
Duplica FFR Player Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Canada Age: 30 Posts: 205	Re: So I made a rap song haha this is very nice. I'd maybe suggest having a little more life in your voice? Kinda like eminem's sarcastic approach to lyrics. To be that monotonous you gotta be black :P

02-21-2011, 11:44 AM	#11
ichliebekase FFR Simfile Author Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 3,213	Re: So I made a rap song Some of the words don't flow well, especially towards the ends of phrases. Kind of sounds like you used a program to say the words for you, especially with the monotonous speaking. Other than that it wasn't bad at all, I liked the instrumentation choices. __________________ Glorious Morning - Misc, level 48 We Will Fly - Dance 2, level 53 =.The Ocean.= - Dance 2, level 56, collab with krunkykai22 Garden Party - Dance, level 38

02-21-2011, 12:00 PM	#12
kommisar Dark Chancellor Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Moncton, NB Age: 33 Posts: 7,301	Re: So I made a rap song keep it up man __________________

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