Make me laugh for $100

[laughsitup2005]

Ok, this is the tricky part. You must give me your best jokes or humiliating stories or whatever you think that can make me laugh. The person I find the funniest will win $100. Of course, there is no telling who might become even funnier than you so I may say that I recommend you for it, but is not a sure thing. One more thing, do not post illegal content that may lock this post.

[heyhey11]

so a foriegn guy comes to NYC and goes to buy a donkey. the guy says one ass comin up. he then buys a hot dog and the guy goes one wiener, here you go. he walks up to a hot blonde and asks, will you hold my wiener while i sratch my ass.

[SqNtz_xoombotvx]

pikachu is still in your avvy

[Tokzic]

Originally Posted by laughsitup2005

Ok, this is the tricky part.

making laughsitup2005 laugh is apparantly tricky

ironic

[jwcgator]

Yo momma's so hairy, that she has afros on her nipples!
Yo momma's so Black and her teeth are so yellow, that when she smiles she looks like a Pitsburg Steeler's helmet.
Yo momma's so black and fat, she has to wear White gloves so she doesn't bite off her fingertips

[heyhey11]

wow Yo momma on mtv really had another person watching

YOU SUCK JWCGATOR

[laughsitup2005]

So far right now, I have seen better. Sorry it takes a while, but I have been busy alot with work and everything.

[Chromer]

Once upon a time, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, that everyone died. The End! =)

[Grandiagod]

What do you get when you mix Satan and a bucket of prawns?

STFU!!!

[TwiztedXzistancE]

Saul is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above: "Saul, sell your business." He ignores it. It goes on for days. "Saul, sell your business for $3 million." After weeks of this, he relents, sells his store. The voice says ‘Saul, go to Las Vegas." He asks why. "Saul, take the $3 million to Las Vegas." He obeys, goes to a casino. Voice says, "Saul , go to the blackjack table and put it down all on one hand." He hesitates but knows he must. He’s dealt an 18. The dealer has a six showing. "Saul, take a card." What? The dealer has -- "Take a card!" He tells the dealer to hit him. Saul gets an ace. Nineteen. He breathes easy. "Saul, take another card." What? "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!" He asks for another card. It’s another ace. He has twenty. "Saul, take another card," the voice commands. I have twenty! Saul shouts. "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!!" booms the voice. Hit me,Saul says. He gets another ace. Twenty one. The booming voice goes: "un-****ing-believable!"

[TwiztedXzistancE]

I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out.

[TwiztedXzistancE]

A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."

[Tokzic]

Originally Posted by TwiztedXzistancE

im trying too hard

we know

[TwiztedXzistancE]

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is.

'Billy.'

'And what is your question, Billy?

'I have 3 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? And third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?'

Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh that's right question time. Who has a question?"

Another little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him what his name is.

'Steve'

'And what is your question, Steve?'

'I have 5 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? And fifth, what the f... happened to Billy?'

[TwiztedXzistancE]

spending 27 seconds per joke for $100, I don't think im trying hard enough mate

[Hr2]

ps he's not really going to pay you

[Pumble]

dj gullible in da house

[laughsitup2005]

Originally Posted by Hr2

ps he's not really going to pay you

Oh really, then why am I wasting my time with this thread smart guy?

PS. Gj there twisted, you are on the list. Your getting there, but not quite enough.

[irrationalkillin]

I was going up a waterfall in a canoe when the wheels fell off. If that's true, how many sandwiches fit inside a doghouse?

None, ice cream doesn't have bones!

[siikduke]

Would adult jokes be counted as Illegal?