Where Exactly Does it Become Stalking? (i.e. What defines a Stalker?)

[footbull3196]

Ok, we all know that if someone knows your/everyone else's phone numbers/addresses, they are stalkers. But what exactly is the borderline between "trivia expert" and "stalker", because some guy in my chemistry class is upset with everyone because he claims that he's "stalking" their birthdays.

Basically, he friend requests everyone he knows on facebook, and he finds their birthdays and recites them to people. Is that technically considered stalking? I mean, he claims that he was doing it so that people would think he's interesting. He thought that people would think that's a special trait or something cool, but obviously not, since people hate him now.

The point though, is where exactly do people have a problem with other people knowing personal information? Like, grades, sports, clubs, positions, that stuff doesn't seem to be a problem. It seems to be other stuff (i.e. your mom's maiden name, your dad's salary, etc.). What exactly do you have to know before you get coined with the term "stalker"?

[JKPolk]

Uh, stalking is where you spy on people and know every single small detail about them; chasing them down when they move, etc. This just sounds like he needs better things to do.

[Psychotik]

He sounds really poplar.

[nuclearsamurai]

brb adding everyone i have ever talked to on ffr

am i doin it rite

Seriously, though. What Polk said. Just knowing their birthdays is nowhere near stalking, unless he's telling more.

[NFD]

If you know somebody's parent's salarly, that's a little creepy.

[nuclearsamurai]

Oh hay, I missed the last part.

Knowing those kinds of things would be just a bit creepy.

Just think about how you would feel if someone knew those things.

[RevenG-]

It's stalking if the person knows only certain peoples birthdays. If he knows everybodys hes not.

[coraleaterlinda]

i don't think reciting people's birthdays counts as stalking. stalking is usually focused on one person at a time. and it involves knowing details about that person's life that are very personal, such as parent's salaries, social security numbers, exact daily schedule, etc.

[A2P]

If you talk to someone constantly that's creepy.

[lord_carbo]

At the birthday memorizing thing, well that's just weird as hell, and I can see why people would find it creepy. He's socially defunct if he expects any other reaction other than, "uh, you're a creep."

It's not creepy so long as you don't make it seem like you're a stalker. That's really it... not sure how to explain it.

Also, stalking prom pics is ok.

Also, if someone admits to taking a glance at your profile you're allowed to do the same.

Also, if you're a total popular female hottie, you're allowed to stalk pics. Complete loser once looked at my profile pics and mentioned something he saw; I called him weird (told him later I was just kidding but he shouldn't openly admit to creepin people's profiles because other people may be discomforted). Completely hot chick in my art class looked at my profile and mentioned something she saw; I started a convo about it 8) Double standard? Hell to the yes. Deal wit it.

Rule of thumb: Just don't tell anyone you're browsing another person's profile and it's all good. nuclearsamurai says its concisely: "think about how you would feel"

[MixMasterLar]

On the issure on where the line is exactly, I would guess that if the person:

1) knew where you lived without you/someone else telling them
2) knew where you worked without you/someone else telling them
3) knew who you had sex with """" / """" """"
and
4) knowing where you'll going before you do

Then he is a stalker. otherwise he needs a new game system to play









ps Hi Carbo

[devonin]

If you know things about someone that you found out without being told, and don't want you to know.

[rushyrulz]

Isn't this thread rather Critical Thinkingish..? Just saying.

On a relevant note, I believe the line is drawn at research. If you go onto facebook in search of people's information for the sake of finding it out, it's stalking. If you know stuff about people because you heard it in the halls and you have a good memory, that isn't stalking, it's just knowing extra because you have a good memory.

I've been called stalker before (jokingly, of course) because I have a very good memory and I know almost everyone's last names, even those who I'm not friends with. It's perfectly fine in a case like this because a last name is said a lot. Your birthday is usually only told to close friends, however. When you give an introduction to a stranger, you don't say Hi, my name is John Smith and my birthday is January 1, so it's not a common piece of information.

Seeing as this kid in your chemistry class looked up everyone's birthday because he wanted to know and maybe be more popular with the other kids in a kind of "look what I can do" situation. Because he did research to find out specific information about people, I would classify it as a minor stalking case because I'm sure his intent isn't to follow you around and try to date you.

[XXXsmittyXXX]

If your harassing somebody / talking to them constantly / finding out their personal information / talking to their friends about them, you would be considered a stalker.

[who_cares973]

yeah you could be a stalker




or in love

[JurseyRider734]

A friend of mine has some weird special "ability" where he can remember anyone's birthday if you tell it to him. Like, I could go through my school's yearbook and he could probably recite 80% of the peoples' birthdays (I say 80% because I figure that's probably the amount of people he knows/has heard their birthdays before). I don't think it's creepy at all. It's actually really interesting. It's so strange how he can remember all of those things, even if they're people he never talks to or never sees or isn't even friends with. I think maybe if those kinds of people knew that he knew their birthdays by memory they may be creeped out at first until they knew that this was just some strange talent of his. I don't find it creepy at all. I think it's interesting. But, if some kid is going around and purposely finding every single person in the school's birth date to memorize and recite to people... well, that's just a little weird.

[tangomango]

Well imo it's one thing to memorize something just because you have a good memory and another to actively memorize personal information to recite to your face.

I remember back in middle school, this one kid would ask everyone what their schedule was, memorize it, and recite it back to them.

[Grandiagod]

When you look like this

[qqwref]

Originally Posted by footbull3196

Basically, he friend requests everyone he knows on facebook, and he finds their birthdays and recites them to people. Is that technically considered stalking? I mean, he claims that he was doing it so that people would think he's interesting. He thought that people would think that's a special trait or something cool, but obviously not, since people hate him now.

Heh. If you become Facebook friends with someone, you're giving them indiscriminate access to ANY personal information you have put there. You don't really have the right to complain about them knowing this information, since after all you've basically given it to them.

I think people are annoyed with the guy not because he knows everyone's birthdays, but rather because he's just really annoying. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who randomly recites people's birthdays either.

[Dorby]

This dosen't seem like a case of stalking ; more or less a cry for attention.