2015 July/August Set 3 (Complete)

[psychoangel691]

Appleshake - General Mumble
Eternal Excavation - jmr
i wanna fuck the moon - keffie
Time to Sleep - Yamajet

[HeZe]

3/10 - REJECT
- Quite long wait at the beginning
- M2-M5 serious issues, off and ghost arrows. Same happens basically everywhere where we don't have the 12th streams.
- M6 what is this 1,2,3,124 pattern? I heard only a very fast buzz there, this is way too slow and massive to put there. Also hand abuse.
- The rest of the song: awkward patterns. Many bursts are very overlayed and the stepartist has tried to step too many of the little background sounds. I can't see this passing so no further analysis.

Diff 58

8/10 - PASS
Overall an enjoyable file. In the initial play I sensed something which didn't feel right at various places, but looking through everything carefully I couldn't find anything. Good!

Diff 35

9/10 - PASS
Very enjoyable file overall! The only issue:
- m6 this 4,4 minijack should not be there. KAPUT!

Diff 76

7/10 - PASS
Well this is interesting. The steps itself are ok, I'm just worried about the target audience. Most of the song is diff 20-30 range and there are some vicious patterns which sit to range diff 60-80. Well ok.


Diff 64

[DossarLX ODI]

gameboy42690 finished the primary judge task for July/August 2015 Set 3. The notes can be seen below; this thread is being moved over to Completed Sets and the results/notes will be updated in the July/August 2015 thread.

[3/10] Appleshake {General Mumble} (Mourningfall)
(For future reference, the proper submission format is “SONG TITLE (USERNAME)”. Your file was formatted the other way around.)
Personally I would have liked to see the first 9 seconds of the song stepped as well.
10.747: Hand usage in this file really didn’t make sense at all. They seem to be used pretty randomly and almost exclusively are stepped to sounds that probably don’t warrant a hand. Cymbal crashes and maybe the handclap would be decent places to step hands, but the bass kick should really only be a jump at most.
11.858: Missing 8th notes for the synth (as well as a 24th note for the lead synth at 12.154).
12.469: Ghost 32nd.
13.636: Missing 8th note for the synth.
13.784: Ghost 24th.
14.302, 14.747, 15.191: These three jumps should be changed to single notes.
15.858: Most of the time you’ve been stepping the bass kick with jumps, so this should be a jump as well.
17.784: Missing 24th note for the stream.
18.525: 16ths instead of 24ths would feel more correct here.
18.978: I have no idea what these white notes are supposed to represent.
19.616: I don’t really like how you’ve got four [13] jumps in a row. Add a little variety, change a few of those jumps.
20.895: Ghost 24th.
21.562: Ghost 12th.
22.006: Ghost 12th, and kind of a rough pattern having a 12th jack with an 8th note (the white note) and a 48th burst mixed in. Earlier in the song you stepped this same noise with a 24th burst (18.525), so ideally you should be stepping this the same way every time.
22.626: This file is littered with ghost notes. At this point I’m just going to say take another look at the rest of the file and double check that every note is going to something, because I found a lot that doesn’t go to anything.
25.636: Similar to 22.006, this burst is stepped inconsistently with how you’ve stepped this same noise before. The way the burst leads into the [34] jump isn’t particularly fun either. Based on how this is currently stepped, switching the [34] jump to a [12] jump would be your best option.
31.636: Random jump in the middle of the 24th stream? I mean, it’s clearly matches up with the handclap but then all the handclaps need to be stepped with jumps. Personally I recommend not turning those 24th streams into jumpstreams for the sake of not making it too difficult. Also, you’re missing a couple of 24ths between this jump and the next jump.
33.393: Missing a few jumps here.
34.801: This note comes a bit too early, it’s actually a 12th note.
34.949: Not sure why there’s a jump here. Until now you’ve only been stepping jumps for the drums and nothing else.
36.393: Missing a 16th note.
36.727: Rather than step this 8th jump for the synth, why not continue following the drum? The drum sounds a little more fun to tap along to.
38.727: Most of your 24ths streams actually have good patterns, but this one’s a bit of an exception. It’s not terrible - 25.636 was certainly a worse pattern - but I don’t think it flows well and the one-handed minitrill might be a little tricky compared to the rest of the file.
41.023: 24th note should have been before the 4th note, not after it.
49.097: Random 24th minijack? I guess it technically fits the song but it’s also very out of place with the rest of the file.
58.727: How come you stopped stepping 24th streams here? Occasionally you step a handful of 24ths, but by not stepping all of the 24ths, the short bursts you do step feel really weird.
Quite a messy file with numerous ghost notes, misrhythms, and inconsistent stepping. There’s a lot more errors that I haven’t pointed out in this review, although at this point you probably have enough information that you know what to look for now.

[7.5/10] Eternal Excavation {jmr} (Silvuh)
(Song offset changed from -2.020 to -2.065 due to issues with SM5 and variable bitrates.)
3.209: The first two notes in this 5-note string of 8ths are fine, but I’m hearing some pitch relevancy issues with the next two. The 3rd note should actually be column 1 (8th minijack), the 4th note should be column 4 (higher pitch than the 5th note).
7.209: There should be an 8th minijack here as well.
20.284: I’m a little confused why you didn’t continue the 1-2-2 pattern here. Stepping the bass kick is fine, but something like 1-2-2-4-1-2-2-4 would have been a bit more pitch relevant.
35.755: 16th note should also be column 3 (repeated tap for the bass kick, like at 27.460)
51.255: Missing 16th note.
108.005: Missing 16th note for the piano.
112.380-120.380: With all the piano notes being played here, I find it strange that you didn’t do more to layer the piano with jumps.
114.046: This sounds more like a 16th note than a 12th note to me.
141.380: This 4th note should also be a jump.
145.630: 8th note should be a jump.
148.880 & 149.380: Both of these 4th notes should be jumps.
151.769: For these minijacks, 1-1-2-2-3-3 would be more pitch relevant than 1-1-3-3-2-2.
It’s an alright file. I do think some extra care should have been taken with pitch relevancy though.

[7/10] i wanna fuck the moon {keffie} (PrawnSkunk)
5.588: I don’t think this is loud enough to warrant a hand.
11.458: 32nd minijacks at 138 BPM is insane. They’re technically correct but extremely fast. I’d be very uneasy about letting something like that into FFR.
13.686: The 64th grace note was really all you needed. This 32nd doesn’t need to be here. Additionally I’d move the 64th note to column 4 for better pitch relevancy after you remove the 32nd.
17.708: Ghost 32nd.
19.936: There should be a 32nd stream here.
20.425: Missing 32nd.
21.730: Missing 32nd.
22.545: I think having 8th jumps instead of just single notes would be pretty fun here. Possibly with grace notes following the jumps, but that might get messy. At the very least, fix the pitch relevancy here; the 8ths should be going from left to right, not right to left.
23.306: Missing 16th.
24.121: Missing a couple of 32nds in between these jumps.
27.545: There should be a 64th grace note after this 8th.
29.624: I listened to this part with the handclap turned on, and the second 32nd gallop sounds a little bit early. It sounds like the notes are actually playing somewhere around two 192nds later to a 64th later. I think for the sake of making it easy for the player to read, you should keep the current note colors and just adjust the BPM to get this bit a little more on-beat.
29.787: This should actually be four 32nds, not just a 16th minijack.
30.113: There’s 32nds playing after the 8th jump too.
33.809: From here to the end, there’s a ton of stuff you decided not to step, and I think it would have been great if you actually did step it. For the most part the file plays fine as is, I just think there’s room for a little more here.
48.918: This 3-4-[34] pattern wasn’t very fun.
51.200: This trill is actually slightly faster than a 24th trill. Each note should be approximately seven 192nds apart until you reach where the 16th jump is. That 16th is in the correct spot, but it shouldn’t be a jump. Between that 16th and the 4th jump is a 32nd. The next trill is mostly the same. The only difference is that the 16th jump is correct and there’s no 32nd between the 16th and 4th jumps.
51.853: This should actually be a 24th gallop (approximately).
52.722: This should actually be a 32nd triplet.
There’s some really fun moments in this file, but there’s some technical issues that absolutely need to be addressed.

[7/10] Time to Sleep {Yamajet} (trumaestro)
0.985: This snare could be stepped with a jump, but you could also argue that a single note is fine since there’s no other instrument to layer here. What you do is up to you.
But for pretty much every other instance of a snare drum in this file, I notice that initially you step them with jumps, but then you tend to be rather inconsistent and step the snare with single notes sometimes. If the idea was to step a jump only when both the snare and the melody play on the same note, that’s one thing, but I don’t really see anything to suggest that was the scheme you’re going for. When it comes to layering anything other than the snare everything’s pretty good for the most part.
1.145: Missing an 8th note for the hi-hat.
4.656: 8th note should be a single note.
5.134: Should be a single note.
5.773: Thank you for not stepping a hand here, that would have been really annoying to play.
9.922: This triple should be a jump at most. There’s no cymbal crash here or anything else loud enough to warrant a hand.
15.108: There’s a couple of snares that can be layered as jumps here. Since only the snare is playing on those 16th notes this is an instance where I’d say you can get away with not stepping it as a jump, but personally I’d like to see jumps. Repeats a couple more times in the file.
15.507: Missing 8th for the melody.
17.741: Missing 8th for the drum.
18.060: Missing 8th for the melody.
18.858: There’s actually 32nds playing here.
25.081: Should be a single note.
28.113: Missing 4th for the drum.
29.230: Missing 8th for the drum.
36.172: Missing 16th for the hi-hat.
41.358, 41.757, 46.783: Should be jumps.
47.581: There’s actually a hi-hat that plays immediately after the last note that you stepped. Ending with the two consecutive triples is satisfying, just that the last note of the song not being stepped is mildly annoying IMO.
Overall fun file (although rather short), but I would look into the layering issue I mentioned at the beginning of the review.

[Mourningfall]

lol thank you dossar/gameboy; sorry for my files.
I've regretted every file I've sent but its good to get a professional opinion so I know where I went wrong.
I'll definitely be more attentive in the future

question, if I restepped appleshake using the notes provided would I be able to resubmit it?

[gameboy42690]

You'll be able to submit an updated version of Appleshake once the batch opens again.