How to deal with today's world?

[PaperclipGames]

I'm not so much asking for an answer to that question specifically, but it is the center point of what I feel like I should address.

We can all agree that there is evil in this world, and that horrible things happen. We hear awful things on the news on a daily basis - overdramatized or not, but they still happen. When I sit in front of the telly and mum is sitting on the couch next to me, and some case about a man locking up people and torturing/raping them before killing them comes up, my mum would react in some sort of shocked way, clearly feeling disgusted about the fact that that happened. But it doesn't really affect me at all, because I don't know the people in question, and basically, in no way does it affect my life.

The question is, how rationally should one be in this world? I normally try to be as rational as possible: not let anything bad get to me, because what would that achieve? What if I felt disgusted by the news? I'd just feel worse, but at the same time I can't make a significant change, so in the end that'd only mean I've let myself feel bad while I also could just have stayed happy. So I simply "ignore" the bad feeling/thought and just go about my own business.
On the other hand, if someone is as passive as me about these emotions, they won't actively try and change the world, either, and the evil would remain. (I personally don't believe a single person, and at least not me, can make a big difference; but if we hypothetically said everyone were like me, then there would be no big demonstrations, or, for example, very influential and inspirational people to "save the world".

So, the dilemma is basically as follows.
- If you lets bad people influence you and make you feel bad, then it may (or may not) be possible for you to decide to stand up against them, and thus create a change and try to eradicate this evil, but in a lot of cases you'll only end up feeling bad without making a difference. You'll be a vulnerable person. So this might be bad for you personally, but it allows humanity to improve and solve big issues.
- If you don't let bad people influence you whatsoever, and/or simply block whatever negative that comes down your path, you're a lot less vulnerable and in a way a stronger person, but you're likely to have a more passive stance towards everything (because you don't have strong enough feelings about these bad things to really actively do something about it), so while this may be the better solution for you personally, it won't help actually solve anything.

I am a guy who has been bullied for the greatest majority of my life by my peers, been dragged down into serious and suicidal phases, and I figure that, considering I was never built to ever be a strong person, the main defense mechanism I could build was to simply stop attaching any value to what they said and did to me; and ignore them (in case of verbal things) to the best of my abilities. In a way I view this as a strength, as I am capable of not letting anyone get to me; but at the same time I've found it to be a weakness (personally), by being almost completely unable to really trust anyone or develop positive feelings. I have selectively let go of this invulnerability, and feel comfortable with this.

How do you guys cope with all the bad in the world in general, and do you think that one should be open for influence/improvement or rather not?

[Choofers]

Originally Posted by RNGRX

The world is a horrible place.

To you, maybe.

[dAnceguy117]

Originally Posted by PaperclipGames

The question is, how rationally should one be in this world? I normally try to be as rational as possible: not let anything bad get to me, because what would that achieve? What if I felt disgusted by the news? I'd just feel worse, but at the same time I can't make a significant change, so in the end that'd only mean I've let myself feel bad while I also could just have stayed happy. So I simply "ignore" the bad feeling/thought and just go about my own business.

I don't think rationality and empathy are mutually exclusive. Personally, I try to absorb everything, let my emotions run their course, and then formulate a logical stance. There's no "right" or "wrong" way to react, though. Do what works for you.

Originally Posted by PaperclipGames

I personally don't believe a single person, and at least not me, can make a big difference; but if we hypothetically said everyone were like me, then there would be no big demonstrations, or, for example, very influential and inspirational people to "save the world".

That's an interesting idea. I agree that activists have a different mentality than you or I do. However, not everyone needs to be an activist. There will always be influential and inspirational people, and there will also be many people who take less of a primary role in trying to change our societies for the better. That's perfectly fine. All we can do is be ourselves.

Originally Posted by PaperclipGames

So, the dilemma is basically as follows.
- If you lets bad people influence you and make you feel bad, then it may (or may not) be possible for you to decide to stand up against them, and thus create a change and try to eradicate this evil, but in a lot of cases you'll only end up feeling bad without making a difference. You'll be a vulnerable person. So this might be bad for you personally, but it allows humanity to improve and solve big issues.
- If you don't let bad people influence you whatsoever, and/or simply block whatever negative that comes down your path, you're a lot less vulnerable and in a way a stronger person, but you're likely to have a more passive stance towards everything (because you don't have strong enough feelings about these bad things to really actively do something about it), so while this may be the better solution for you personally, it won't help actually solve anything.

In my eyes, there's nothing wrong with being vulnerable. Getting hurt sucks, but there's always a way to cope and to respond. Being emotionally detached in most situations isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I personally don't think that's how we can live our lives to the fullest.

You appear to be thinking on a grand scale here, and that's admirable. Wouldn't it be great if one of us could go out and improve the world for everyone? Hopefully those who feel a drive to do so will achieve great things. For many of us, though, that's simply not realistic. What we can do is try our best to have a positive influence on those within our limited reach.

Originally Posted by PaperclipGames

I am a guy who has been bullied for the greatest majority of my life by my peers, been dragged down into serious and suicidal phases, and I figure that, considering I was never built to ever be a strong person, the main defense mechanism I could build was to simply stop attaching any value to what they said and did to me; and ignore them (in case of verbal things) to the best of my abilities. In a way I view this as a strength, as I am capable of not letting anyone get to me; but at the same time I've found it to be a weakness (personally), by being almost completely unable to really trust anyone or develop positive feelings. I have selectively let go of this invulnerability, and feel comfortable with this.

It's awesome to hear that you endured everything. Whatever defense mechanism you built up during that time served you well.

Trust is a tricky subject. Being naive is dangerous. At the same time, you may benefit from becoming better able to have positive connections with more people. Or maybe not, who knows? Up to you!

Originally Posted by PaperclipGames

How do you guys cope with all the bad in the world in general

When you reach the point of "all the bad in the world in general," I think everyone has to do the same thing you do, at least to some extent. There are too many tragedies worldwide to stop and react emotionally to everything. We all have to live with this reality and take things in stride.

Originally Posted by PaperclipGames

and do you think that one should be open for influence/improvement or rather not?

I believe strongly that everyone should work toward self-improvement. Don't try to do more than what's possible, but do what you can.

[Xiz]

Don't live your life to others standards, do what makes you happy.

[mi40]

don't think about bad shit until it happens to you
what are you gonna do about thousands of people getting killed by drug trafficking related issues

answer: nothing

just be good to people near you and you are good to go

[Cavernio]

Lot's of loosely connected points-

Something you didn't touch on, you don't need to empathize to have an influence. You can be emotionally detached but still idealistically and rationally be an activist, simply because you believe in doing the right thing and/or believe that you have more of an influence than you know. Those beliefs don't have to be mired in emotion, they can be mired in logic.

It's often odd the small things regarding the way you act or what you do, that someone else will take to heart. Like, just because you feel strong emotions for doing some good deed, doesn't actually mean that the receiver will feel those emotions equally as strongly. And vice versa of course. It's odd the things that some people will catch onto about how you act or what you do, things that you've never even bothered to think about, that sometimes have the most influence on someone else.

As to getting to the meat of what you ask, it's essentially what Xiz says, just a little more detailed. For you personally paperclipgames, if you WERE to open yourself up more to the influence of all these things, would you rise to the challenge or would you crumble under the pressure and negativity? From what you've said, you're more likely to crumble, which means not only will you not be able to help others, you'll be in need of help yourself. And that's just how it might be, nothing you can do about it.

I have found-and still find- it a struggle to deal with my own limitations. It's hard when you're limited more than the social standard or a standard you've set for yourself. Also hard to know what's a limitation versus what's a mentality you can actually change. I'm an activist at heart, and I wish I did more than spew stuff to FFR and occasionally my friends, but I still struggle with personal battles everyday. I don't think I'll ever reach self-actualization (re: Maslow's hierarchy of needs...semi-pertinent to this discussion.)

The conundrum you talk about, whether to be emotionally involved, belongs to more than just 'doing the right thing'. It can also involve personal achievement, like if you're very invested in something, failure of whatever you're working towards will make you never want to try again. I suppose from this point of view, the people who accomplish the most are those who actually AREN'T invested. The same could go for activists as well.

Doing the right thing on a larger scale, despite the insurmountable problems you'll face, might individually make someone so fulfilled that they can't imagine doing anything else. In other words, success isn't the only emotional drive to do good deeds.

I think that's it.