The Niceness Brigade

[popsicle_3000]

Originally Posted by moches

what language is that??


i guess in light of this thread though,
yesterday i went to a coffee shop my friend always goes to, and paid for her next two coffees. we'll see what happens tomorrow

[Pseudo Enigma]

it looks pretty good, but is it even really easy to make for a shirt? Remember that the more colors on a shirt = more money required

Internet is down so I have to access it at the library/school. I'll keep doing this.

Yesterday I wasn't really in the mood to be nice. The teacher looked down and I thought about leaving him my can of Dr. Pepper and a note--yes I have made my codename in Science steins;gate related so you guys can guess what the hell would be written (in weeaboo). I was too selfish though.

also @Pop it rhymes with Korean.
oops

[i will pwn u]

this is a good thread and something i do daily.. i kinda live by the pay it forward philosophy.. i do good things and usually good things come back.. the job i have depends on me being happy and enthusiastic because if i dont people wont buy shit from me and im only selling stuff that helps their car run better xD.. i always have a smile at work specially that first 10 seconds of guiding somone in the bay and even if they are havin the worst day usually i get a smile back.. its rewarding

[UserNameGoesHere]

First off, I do not wish to be added to the list. I am posting here to comment on the idea, not to join it.

Just make sure you're actually being nice and not "nice". That it's a real nice and not a fake nice. No offense, but my initial impression of this thread is that of fake nice -- doing things to make you feel like you did something nice.

So what's the difference?

Fake nice:
The primary focus is on making you feel better about yourself (you feel like you did something nice) and/or to make you look better in front of other people (politician trying to win votes). Elaborate scenarios may be constructed for which the "nice" thing you do is the "answer" when in reality, it was either a minimal contribution, completely unnecessary, or even a nuisance. You do things you think are nice, but in reality they aren't very nice or you're doing them for the wrong reasons.

Real nice:
The primary focus is on others. You don't care so much about the recognition. You're not trying to do every little tiny thing you've elaborately constructed some idea is "nice". You see a need, meet a need. Your conscience tells you "I should probably go help that person" so you help them. You should expect NOTHING in return. Especially if no one even thanks you or anything, accept that, and it should have no influence on your mood (if it does, see fake nice above).

The primary difference is that fake nice focuses on you (feel good, seen as being good), whereas the real thing has exactly the opposite focus (community, greater good, etc...).

Donating a bunch of money to a cause, while helpful, is more often a fake nice to either make you feel like you did a good thing or to make yourself look good.

Unpaid volunteer work, especially of a type most people wouldn't volunteer for, and where there isn't some ulterior motive (credits for a society, club, or fraternity/sorority, or court-ordered community service), is most often the real deal.

Just make sure you're doing it because it's something that needs to be done or it's actually helpful, and not because it's something you think might be being nice but isn't.

[moches]

Originally Posted by UserNameGoesHere

post

very good point, and one that probably needed to be pointed out at some point. that's the whole reason I'm trying to do these things anonymously...the sharing in this thread is more for the support sharing and taking in experiences with other like-minded people can bring.

I'm planning to write a few guidelines for this thread sometime next week; mind if I quote you?

[coral]

야 ㅆㅂ 모치스..

빨리 시험끝내고 미국빨랑와 ㄱㄱㄱㄱ
화이팅, 기말고사/수능 잘보고 좋은성적나와서 좋은대학붙어라
형이 미국에서 기다리고있다 ㅋㅋ
(서울/연대도 ㅇㅋ) make ffr proud

[moches]

Originally Posted by coral

야 ㅆㅂ 모치스..

빨리 시험끝내고 미국빨랑와 ㄱㄱㄱㄱ
화이팅, 기말고사/수능 잘보고 좋은성적나와서 좋은대학붙어라
형이 미국에서 기다리고있다 ㅋㅋ
(서울/연대도 ㅇㅋ) make ffr proud

우와 형 ㅠㅠ 진짜 감사합니다! 최선을 다 해보겠습니다...
(글구 다행히 수능은 안 봐요 ㅋㅋ;

[coral]

basically in korea everyone is always in a hurry and there's unimaginable pressure to do well in every aspect of life because everybody is so judgmental !!!!

good luck moches keep doin good thangs ㄱㄱㄱ

[kjwkjw]

Originally Posted by coral

basically in korea everyone is always in a hurry and there's unimaginable pressure to do well in every aspect of life because everybody is so judgmental !!!!

Lol this

Best of luck, moches - altruism is one of the best qualities a person can have, I'd say =P

[moches]

Thanks, gaize

[UserNameGoesHere]

Originally Posted by moches

very good point, and one that probably needed to be pointed out at some point. that's the whole reason I'm trying to do these things anonymously...the sharing in this thread is more for the support sharing and taking in experiences with other like-minded people can bring.

I'm planning to write a few guidelines for this thread sometime next week; mind if I quote you?

You may quote any of it that you like.

I don't mean offense to anyone here, and just want to encourage people to do things for the right reasons is all.

[Pseudo Enigma]

I thought rule #1 was you do not reveal yourself? It ruins the feeling in a way. At least, it does for me.

Still haven't done anything anonymous though. I'm still trying to think of something elaborate. Maybe I'm overcomplicating.

[moches]

I just bought a handful of Chupa Chups and stuffed them in passerbys' bags. Tried to found children, but no luck. I wonder what they'll think when they see it?

[moches]

As it turns out, all of my ideas are going down two areas:

1) buy things and give them to people
2) write notes and give them to people

Anybody else have some good ideas?

[DossarLX ODI]

So it turns out my roommates are on low meal plans and don't eat breakfast. I'm going to start bringing them breakfast and making sure they're up by 8 AM so they don't oversleep accidentally.

I've also been helping my roommates when they have questions concerning the calculus class material I'm also doing. It really pains me when they have questions about physics and I can't help them with that.

[Wayward Vagabond]

if i was being woken up by my roommate at 8am id be so pissed

[smartdude1212]

Every day at university I get to help students with math. It's great to be appreciated, and I do get paid for it, but my clandestine ulterior motive is to get more people interested in the subject. When I can work through a difficult problem with someone and they have mind-blowing revelations as they reason their way to the answer with what they already know, that is far more satisfying to me -- particularly because I know that exact feeling.

This is such a great idea though. I have a plethora of sticky notes that could easily be filled with mood-improving quotes and whatnot.

Hell, something that just popped into my mind: raid the math department early in the morning before any of the professors get there and leave a math joke on their door. No matter how cheesy, I feel like they would still enjoy that in the morning. The only way I could stay anonymous is by getting somebody else to write the jokes or by fudging my calligraphy, since my writing is recognizable to most by this point. They might all get together and try to figure me out then... HOW TEMPTING.

In the time it took me to write that, I've convinced myself to do such a thing next week (it'll give me the weekend to construct/find about twenty good math jokes). I'll let y'all know how it turns out.

[Arntonach]

Originally Posted by UserNameGoesHere

Donating a bunch of money to a cause, while helpful, is more often a fake nice to either make you feel like you did a good thing or to make yourself look good.

Hey, I started donating money out of guilt knowing that I'm wasting so much money that could be going to better things. Things that my family has had to deal with without help that I don't want others to go though without assistance. You could say it's a fake nice, but it helps me rest easy knowing that some of my money is going to help others and not to frivolous things.

And it's not like I think that's my "nice thing to be done" either. I'm constantly trying to help everyone in the shop with things when they need it and always doing the boring stuff or the grunt work just so someone else can relax for a few or go home early.

So trust me, I'm doing that because I should, not because I need the cred or something.

[runescapedude1126]

Try this one, I've done it a few times and it really makes peoples day. When you are standing behind someone in line at a fast food place or a grocery store, if they have a smaller amount of stuff and start to complain about not wanting to break a large bill, ive actually stepped up and paid for it (no more than like $6). The looks that people give you are the best because noone expects to see that.

[DossarLX ODI]

Originally Posted by Wayward Vagabond

if i was being woken up by my roommate at 8am id be so pissed

They have class at 9 AM and sometimes get up at like 8:30 so it gives them more time and not miss it. But for you, it's probably a different scenario haha