TWG CLXIV: Classics Man - Game Thread

[Charu]

[Witch of Certainty]

Hi

[DaBackpack]

like, everything

[MixMasterLar]

Originally Posted by Hakulyte

Hello, this is the Wolf Police, we identified a list of suspects.

That Thai Beer tho

[AragakiAyase]

well haku is probably a wolf and that's all I've got

good night

[Charu]

PAGE three music

[Hakulyte]

AA is probably a wolf for saying that I'm a wolf.

[Charu]

Originally Posted by AragakiAyase

well haku is probably a wolf and that's all I've got

good night

bye

[ShadoWolfe]

I also engineered the fall of Troy single handedly, and am the protagonist of both Iliad and Odyssey. I walked through the seven concentric circles of the Divine Comedy, and broke bread with Antigone. I ride a pale horse and tell tall tales. I've defended the American Frontier and carved the Grand Canyon with my pickaxe. You don't know me, but you will.

[DaBackpack]

Originally Posted by Hakulyte

AA is probably a wolf for saying that I'm a wolf.

nice™

[DaBackpack]

Originally Posted by ShadoWolfe

I also engineered the fall of Troy single handedly, and am the protagonist of both Iliad and Odyssey. I walked through the seven concentric circles of the Divine Comedy, and broke bread with Antigone. I ride a pale horse and tell tall tales. I've defended the American Frontier and carved the Grand Canyon with my pickaxe. You don't know me, but you will.

and I'm the guy that fucked you

[MixMasterLar]

Originally Posted by AragakiAyase

well haku is probably a wolf and that's all I've got

good night

Naw he be townin'

[ShadoWolfe]

Originally Posted by DaBackpack

can I be one of the gods that fucks everything?

Yes! But only if you invite me to your orgies when I so desire.

[roundbox]

Originally Posted by ShadoWolfe

I also engineered the fall of Troy single handedly, and am the protagonist of both Iliad and Odyssey. I walked through the seven concentric circles of the Divine Comedy, and broke bread with Antigone. I ride a pale horse and tell tall tales. I've defended the American Frontier and carved the Grand Canyon with my pickaxe. You don't know me, but you will.

[XelNya]

Alright AA's being a try hard

That's fun.

[DaBackpack]

[Charu]

"And with that, I'm officially announcing my candidacy for Class President!"

Bernie Sanders beamed at his classmates from the front of the room. Most didn't seem to care about his speech on the evils of capitalism in their school, but his best friend, Joe Biden, clapped for him.

His teacher frowned, and motioned for him to return to his seat. "That's great, Sanders, but you were only supposed to solve the equation on the board."

Bernie blushed as his peers snickered quietly. He had gotten carried away again, warning everyone that they shouldn't worship money like a golden idol.

"Moving on," said the teacher as Bernie sat down, "we have a transfer student joining us today! I'm sure you'll all give him a warm welcome."

A boy entered the classroom. Bernie found himself staring at the new student's beautiful toupee.

'I feel like... I've seen that wig before,' he thought to himself.

The boy cleared his throat. "My name's Donald, but you can call me Mr. Trump. I'm richer than all you suckers combined." He started pulling hundred dollar bills out and rubbing them all over his face while chuckling menacingly.

Bernie nearly choked. The new boy- Trump- was a filthy capitalist? Just his luck. And here he had hoped he'd be able to make a new friend.

"Oh, and by the way." Donald gave Bernie a piercing glare. "I'll be the next Class President. Looks like you don't 'sanders' a chance in this election!" The entire room erupted into laughter, including the teacher. "You see," Donald continued while still rubbing cash all over himself, "it's like, 'stand a chance,' but I used your name instead, because you won't win, because I'm rich."

Bernie couldn't believe it. His dreams were being crushed before his eyes by the thing he despised the most: the 1%.

A few hours had passed since the incident, and Joe Biden was attempting to comfort Bernie outside the school.

"Even if he is disgustingly rich, I'm sure everybody won't buy into his scheme!" Joe said while patting Bernie on the head. "They'll all be feelin' the Bern in no time. Just you wait."

"Thanks, Joe. I know I can count on you," he replied, somewhat comforted but still unsure of himself.

Joe grinned. "Of course! I was the last Class President's assistant after all. I know how the voters think." He checked his watch. "Oh man, I gotta go! You just watch out and be careful of that Trump." Joe's expression grew serious. "He's definitely up to no good, and that stunt in there only proves he sees you as a threat."

Bernie thanked him for the advice, and his friend left with a wave. He turned to leave the school grounds as well, but a dark figure blocked his path. Bernie's blood ran cold as he saw the familiar blonde toupee.

Trump's eyes bored into him. "Sanders, we need to talk."

"A-about what?" stammered Bernie as he searched desperately for an escape route.

"There are things... you don't know about yet. Things about me, yourself, even this world. But I'm here to give you a warning." Donald Trump walked closer until Bernie had to look up to see his face. "We have a disaster called the big lie: Obamacare... And it's going to get worse, because remember, Obamacare really kicks in in '16, 2016. Obama is going to be out playing golf. He might be on one of my courses. I would invite him, I actually would say. I have the best courses in the world, so I'd say, you what, if he wants to— I have one right next to the White House, right on the Potomac. If he'd like to play, that's fine."

As Bernie attempted to make sense of all that, Trump continued. "I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created. And you, Sanders, shouldn't get in my way." He shoved Bernie aside and strode away, leaving him reeling.

What could any of that possibly mean... Who was this strange, wealthy, balding boy? Bernie collapsed to his knees in despair. If Trump made a meaningless yet awe-inspiring speech like that in the election, he wouldn't even need his mountains of cash. The presidency would be his.

Visions of a Trump-controlled class overcame him. Overpriced textbooks, expensive student loans, walls closing their classroom off from the rest of the school... A tear dropped out of Bernie's eye. Just as the thought that he should give up on his campaign entered his mind, Bernie heard a voice.

"If you give up, it's over. But you have the power to change this destiny. All this tragedy, all this capitalism, you can change it if you want. The power to do so lies within you." He looked up to see a white, catlike animal watching him, perched on a nearby wall. Its tail flicked back and forth as it waited for his response.

"I can change it?" he asked, too shaken up by the day's events to even question what was happening. "Even someone like me can do something to help. Can I really change how this ends?"

"Of course you can, Bernie Sanders." The strange animal's round eyes shone red. "Just make a contract with me, and become a magical girl!"

[ShadoWolfe]

Originally Posted by Hakulyte

Hello, this is the Wolf Police, we identified a list of suspects.

In bad mystery novels, the culprit is always the last one on the list of suspects................. 🤔 😑 🙄

[Prophylaxis]

More people should be random voting.

Like this:

XelNya

[Charu]

Originally Posted by DaBackpack

Jumpy, I like this