My First Manga

**Chromer** · 12-6-2004, 07:40 PM

Ok This was something I did during Japanese 1. The drawing isn't my best because I didn't have much time to do it. Still check it out. It's called
"Watermelon Fight."

Omeganitros · 12-6-2004, 08:03 PM

=O

Good, good.

Just work on the storyline and humor.

**Spazzbite** · 12-9-2004, 07:52 AM

I like the flame effect.

PS: In frame 7, you wrote his name as "Shindji" instead of "Shinji". Ji is Shi with ten ten.

**Chromer** · 12-11-2004, 03:43 AM

Actually I referenced Shinji from my Japanese textbook I use in school and it said Ji was Chi with ten ten. Unless the Japanese are idiots
or the Americans misprinted, I'm not sure.

**Draigun** · 12-11-2004, 03:19 PM

I'm completely sure Ji is Shi with ten-ten... <3 for another Japanese 1 student..Though since we have block scheduleing, I'll be taking Japanese 2 after Christmas break.

That looks great, though..

jewpinthethird · 12-11-2004, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Draigun

I'm completely sure Ji is Shi with ten-ten

You are completely correct.

Also, it is written as Ichi in romaji.

**Chromer** · 12-13-2004, 01:02 PM

Do I smell weekly Manga strip? All in favor say yay! or Nay!

**MonkeyFoo** · 12-31-2004, 02:25 PM

no writing here...

IceX · 12-31-2004, 08:08 PM

nice style ya got there

IAMTHEEVILBEAN · 12-31-2004, 08:11 PM

Next time use a ruler and better writing and it might be good.

jewpinthethird · 01-2-2005, 12:20 AM

I cant tell which character is which...try mixing up their hair styles a bit...or something. Or give one an eye-patch.

Kenzya · 01-7-2005, 11:28 PM

I went all the way to the corner to start reading and I was dissapointed

**MonkeyFoo** · 01-12-2005, 10:28 PM

Next time, do it outside of class, maybe try some color, and set it up so that it is skinny
to fit on the webpage without scrolling sideways. For a final suggestion: use hair that
sticks up or out more. Then, use more intriguing plot. watermelons can't hold the
attention of most people.

**Chromer** · 01-14-2005, 08:25 PM

Wow. I seriously don't need to hear anything from you, considering you just joined a few months ago.

Porgy · 01-14-2005, 09:49 PM

i joined 7 days before you, can i say it sucks?

actually you just need to put more effort into your drawings. And storyline. And concept.

**Chromer** · 01-15-2005, 11:21 PM

You people just skipped over the sentences before the actual picture didn't you? Done in class. During school. For Fun. Is that too hard to comprehend?

jewpinthethird · 01-16-2005, 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chromer

You people just skipped over the sentences before the actual picture didn't you? Done in class. During school. For Fun. Is that too hard to comprehend?

It's called constructive criticism. They are just trying to help you out so next time, it can be better.

12-6-2004, 08:03 PM	#2
Omeganitros auauauau Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Hee-Haw! Age: 35 Posts: 8,897	RE: My First Manga =O Good, good. Just work on the storyline and humor.

12-11-2004, 03:43 AM	#4
Chromer Hookers and Blow Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: You heard the robot. No fun. Age: 34 Posts: 4,981	RE: My First Manga Actually I referenced Shinji from my Japanese textbook I use in school and it said Ji was Chi with ten ten. Unless the Japanese are idiots or the Americans misprinted, I'm not sure. __________________

12-11-2004, 03:19 PM	#5
Draigun om nom nom nom. Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Rofleigh, NC Age: 34 Posts: 751	I'm completely sure Ji is Shi with ten-ten... <3 for another Japanese 1 student..Though since we have block scheduleing, I'll be taking Japanese 2 after Christmas break. That looks great, though.. __________________ What?

12-13-2004, 01:02 PM	#7
Chromer Hookers and Blow Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: You heard the robot. No fun. Age: 34 Posts: 4,981	Do I smell weekly Manga strip? All in favor say yay! or Nay! __________________

12-31-2004, 02:25 PM	#8
MonkeyFoo FFR Veteran Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Northeasterly Age: 34 Posts: 397	no writing here... __________________ How has it been 15 years

12-31-2004, 08:08 PM	#9
IceX FFR Player Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 2	nice style ya got there

12-31-2004, 08:11 PM	#10
IAMTHEEVILBEAN FFR Player Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Michigan Posts: 3,078	Next time use a ruler and better writing and it might be good.

01-2-2005, 12:20 AM	#11
jewpinthethird (The Fat's Sabobah) Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Palm Springs, California Posts: 11,711	I cant tell which character is which...try mixing up their hair styles a bit...or something. Or give one an eye-patch.

01-7-2005, 11:28 PM	#12
Kenzya FFR Player Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Illicorn Posts: 3,411	I went all the way to the corner to start reading and I was dissapointed __________________ One Time I Sucked Six in a Row (Locust Toybox Remix) Write to me Stick Stickly p.o. box 963 New York City New York State 10108 I'm Still Alive

01-12-2005, 10:28 PM	#13
MonkeyFoo FFR Veteran Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Northeasterly Age: 34 Posts: 397	Next time, do it outside of class, maybe try some color, and set it up so that it is skinny to fit on the webpage without scrolling sideways. For a final suggestion: use hair that sticks up or out more. Then, use more intriguing plot. watermelons can't hold the attention of most people. __________________ How has it been 15 years

01-14-2005, 08:25 PM	#14
Chromer Hookers and Blow Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: You heard the robot. No fun. Age: 34 Posts: 4,981	Wow. I seriously don't need to hear anything from you, considering you just joined a few months ago. __________________

01-14-2005, 09:49 PM	#15
Porgy FFR Player Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Cloud 9 Posts: 218	i joined 7 days before you, can i say it sucks? actually you just need to put more effort into your drawings. And storyline. And concept. __________________ I want fish tacos.....

01-15-2005, 11:21 PM	#16
Chromer Hookers and Blow Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: You heard the robot. No fun. Age: 34 Posts: 4,981	You people just skipped over the sentences before the actual picture didn't you? Done in class. During school. For Fun. Is that too hard to comprehend? __________________

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