My depersonalization over the last year

[XXXsmittyXXX]

Hello. A lot of you know me or know of me and a lot of you do not. That doesn't matter because i am in a time of crisis and it is time for a change. A lot of you could prob tell i used to love marijuana, ranting and raving about it, yeah that's so stupid hahaha wow. Anyway, about a year ago, i stopped smoking weed so i could pick up a manufacturing job at a great company.
Job was given and i was well on my way to being a production work cell operator which is a job that i felt was perfect for me because i had been studying machines and assembly for a long time prior. I may have stopped smoking weed but i started smoking herbal incense, or spice / K2. The last year of my life has been complete shit because of this drug. I now have high blood pressure, kidneys that don't like to work properly, i'm emaciated and pale, and my blood vessels are constricted due to poisoning from this synthetic drug.
I worked for some time and eventually just could not go on, because i was very sick inside. My girlfriend was living with me at the time, zgf1 yeah yeah, and we were just consuming toxic amounts of it unknowingly and i think that sent us into a tangent but i do not blame her for a thing she is still awesome and she was not effected like i am now, i became extremely addicted, and she watched it happen. It started with me thinking it was literally a synthetic form of thc, but i was very wrong, i would never have ingested that or offered it to anyone. After doing a lot of looking around, trips to multiple hospitals for testing, and talking to police officers and government officials about it, i have found that it's a controlled substance.
It's the equivalent of meth or heroine and it has such adverse effects on the human body that doctors and physicians are becoming frustrated over the matter. I can tell you that because i stumped about 13 doctors yesterday at mary immaculate. Recently the local Bonsai pipe and tobacco shop was shut down for selling herbal incense and bath salts, the owner was a friend of mine and he is now digging himself out of a nightmare as well. They seized millions from him, this was a 2 minute walk from my front door, literally.
Currently in gloucester county VA (15 minute drive) they are selling new blends of herbal incense at High Tyde and theyre killing people left and right. Here are some of the names for sick pleasure 'DR Feel Good' 'F'd up!' 'Kotton mouth' 'Vatos locos' 'Burning angel' 'Death Grip' 'Brainfreeze' 'demon child' 'Hysteria' 'Kenny's Resurrection' 'Burned out' 'you're number one' 'Anonymous' 'black lotus' 'black lotus elite' 'green goddess' 'rotten egg' 'Liberty' the list goes on and on and on. When i go to the store, the lines are 70 customers long, no one speaks a word to each other, and everyone asks 'what's your best seller for the week'. It says not for human consumption on the package and lists no website or manufacturers of the herbal product, and the employees say 'remember this is not for human consumption' and they wink at you and tell you to be careful as you are leaving.
They sleep in the store by the drink machine so they can stay open 24 hours to sell spice to thousands of people a day. They have an alarm installed that triggers when cars / customers pull up to the store after 3 am. This is fucking sickening to me. I'm so sick lately that i can't even enjoy my days anymore.
This is where i mention depersonalization. This drug has sucked the life out of me and i really hate to wake up now. I have a hard time coping with my days now and every move i make or thought in my head makes me anxious when i'm not on the drug, everything feels like a lie now and i kind of just wish i could go back to my normal self or just stop living. I can't complain to the store owners because you get kicked out for 72 hours if you mention consuming the product. So i started going to hospitals for knowledge.

Has anyone else heard of herbal incense or Spice? It's swept through every state now and the chemists are constantly changing the compounds so it can stay legal in your state. I want more insight from others. I have seen every documentary and read every blog on herbal incense and synthetic drugs and i'm disgusted, i want to know more.

Going to detox and rehabilitate myself at an in patient facility very soon as i qualified for a bed due to addiction and depression. Herbal incense is a huge problem in most areas on the east coast still and the headshops will not stop selling synthetic drugs despite cops taking patrol, new laws, and knowing people are kicking the curb. I will probably shit a brick at the toxicity reports during initial detox as my doctor could not provide one. she didn't know i was hallucinating and on the verge of a psychotic meltdown in her office as i waited. Wish luck and do research and don't do synthetic drugs i'll be back in due time. I made this image of a known herbal incense dealer. I thought it would be one of those "yeah that drug is probably bad" kind of photos to look at. Seeya! i want to get better, i didn't mean for this at all, there is a brighter side