The book

[earth_lord]

This is where Ill be posting my story please do not post in this forum unless your malreynolds, or psychic25, because they have helped me the most in what i am doing. I will double post when nessecary. I am only going to post my story once. but edit it and add content on the way. Please send all regards, comments, praises, and or criticism in the topic
Im writing a book.... and remember I will look at your posts every hour on the hour until after 9:00 PM western america.

thank you

An to those of you who dont know, Yes im gonna go all the way with this



Anti-virus
Project 2
By JASON SIMMONS
________________
The air was filled with sweet, artificial oxygen, scented with a breathable healthy smell, enough to support everyone on the ship. The year was 5076. Just a few centuries ago, the Earth was drained of almost all of its resources. The plan for rejuvenating the earth was very simple: leave the earth, wait until it replenishes all of its resources, then reoccupy. Luckily by then, we had mastered fire, water, air, gravity, and many other natural phenomena. We also mastered space travel. The theory of alien existence was proven wrong; at least, we hadn’t found any at all. Technology had shown that nothing was out of reach; every day more and more was made. Even so, one thing that hadn’t been created was true virtual reality.

That was true until September 18, 5075. The first thing the engineers made was an anti-virus program that was very simple; all you needed to do was put on special pads that reacted to motion and special goggles. Then it was like you were in a new world. Not a wire frame, but a real world. Then all you needed to do was to spot viruses, which normally appeared as wire frames, but some had true shape. Usually, they seemed like a bizarre but harmless creature, but others were truly terrifying. Then all you needed to do was pick up the weapons that appeared in front of you and, well, fire them.

Now it is very harmless. If the virus comes in contact with you, it would pass right through you. Once you shoot it, the virus is deleted.

They called it the AV Project 2. And it continued to be a game and a useful way to kill viruses. Harmless, beatable, detailed, multiplayer, fun; in short, it was the perfect game. Until October 19, one month later, it happened. I can explain what happened better then anybody else, because I was on the front line of it all...

Chapter 1

September 18, 5705. A new era of technology was founded, and AV Project 2 began. True virtual reality. In the engineering labs on the New York ship fleet NO. 3, people were rejoicing. Scientists and program engineers had completed what none had done before. The next few days would be busy for everybody, because in that first triumphant hour it was announced that eleven beta testers would be allowed into the game. To choose these players personally would have been a very bad decision, so they decided to hold a sweepstakes; have postcards mailed in, and then draw eleven names.

After hearing this on the news I got up and scratched my back. It was 9:00 in the morning and I knew the news would repeat constantly.

“Today, the 4th winner was chosen. Don Richards, a college student, was surprised to hear about his winnings.” I turned my head in disgust.

I had sent five postcards- just some really cheap, 30-cent pieces of trash, with my information. I really wanted in.

Then I turned around, only to have my cat look at me strangely and say, “Don’t resent the lucky.”

Yes, that’s right, my cat talked. A lot of new technology was created in the last few years, including an artificial brain. One that has the capability of an average 25 year old. With this, my cat can cook, clean, do my bills- you know, the works. Yet it is still pretty eerie to have a sophisticated conversation with my cat, though I’ve got to mention that he makes the best burgers I have ever had. My cat is a black cat, so for the hell of it, I named him Lucky. He has a weird personality, but he’s a cat, so that’s not much of a surprise.

“I know, Lucky, it’s just that I really want in, you know?” I said.

Did I mention my name is Arnold Minnos? I am in high school and a dedicated gamer to boot. I am 15 and in the 9th grade at a private school because my parents are rich. Even so, they’re always busy, so I spent most of my time at home playing video games or watching VHS, (Virtual Holographic System) which is basically a circular television that you can look at from nearly every point of view. I am a stubborn kid when it comes down to it, and I’m really skinny. I have brown hair and brown eyes and I wear contacts. Contacts have truly evolved, and can now create a new way of seeing things, in the literal sense. Most contacts come with a button that sticks to the skin. If pushed, it changes the focal point of your eyes; it even reduces or enhances the size of your pupil. Some even come with night and heat vision.

I am also on the track team, although it's hard to keep up with both electronic gaming and fitness. Other than that, I’m just a typical teenager.

“I know,” said Lucky, “but you must be patient, your time will come.”

Oh great, now my cat’s a prophet, I thought to myself. “Whatever,” I said, and got back to my precious Holosys. Just then, a new headline appeared, talking about the fifth winner. And wouldn’t you know it- they chose my friend Mike.

I was astounded from what I heard. My friend, a beta tester. I was angry and disappointed all rolled into one. I was resenting my friend, something I thought I would never do.

The next day came really fast. It was Sunday, time for school (The current president started the practice of school on Sundays so kids would get a better “education”). I took the local star-bus. I went to school, only to find a crowd gathered around this one kid who had just walked in from Space Port 6. It was Michael. All I could hear was “Congratulations” and “Awesome, dude”. I went to congratulate him as well when two large people walked toward him, one holding a card, both wearing black and blue clothes. One of the men was white, and the other was black. One of them looked really mean, supported by his fearsome-looking sunglasses. The other had a burnt face and an eye that was horribly scarred, with a scar on his bald head to match.

The children surrounding Michael immediately backed away as the two people approached. One knelt down and whispered something in his ear, and then gave him his card. Mike’s face went pale. He shook his head in what looked like dismay. He took the card and quickly stuffed it into his pocket. He then quickly moved away from the growing crowd now walking toward him.

After school, Lucky was sitting on a stool in front of the VHS while listening to the news, and I was nearby the dinning room table, Lucky spun around.

“Did you hear?” said Lucky.

“What?” I said.

“About two suspects seen on the run, apparently wearing black and blue. One white and one black.”

“What for?”

"Doesn't say."

I looked up and watched the Holosys. It showed a 360 of very well-drawn sketches of the two men who had come to the school.

The next day I went to school and came straight home afterwards. The 6th winner was announced, and once again, it wasn’t me. Disappointed, I got up and walked to the kitchen because Lucky had made some clam chowder.

I had grabbed a bowl and started to pour it when Lucky popped in and started mumbling something. Then he turned toward me and said, “Your parents came home.”

“Oh wow,” I said, “like that’s never happened before.”

Then he turned toward the Holosys and said “Yes”, but he looked kind of pale and was clutching a card very hard. “He told me to tell you that he was sorry for not being home for enough hours of the day.”

“Well, thanks for passing on the message,” I said “but that’s still not going to help the fact that he’s not here.” Lucky sighed and walked away.

[Snapps]

Is your dad Richard Simmons?

[earth_lord]

Originally Posted by Snapps

Is your dad Richard Simmons?

1 How do you know my last name?
2 No i am not related in any way to Richard Simmons
3 READ ABOVE "Please do not post in this topic unless you are Malreynolds, or psychic25."

[JurseyRider734]

Because it says right there

By JASON SIMMONS

[earth_lord]

Crap overlooked that

[msbrunnettemickey]

Did I mention my name is Arnold Minnos? I myself am in high school and a dedicated gamer to boot. I am 15 and in the 9th grade. My parents are rich, but always busy so I stay most my time home playing video games, or watching VHS, (Virtual Holographic System) which is basically a circular television and you can look from nearly every point of view. I am a stuborn kid when it comes down to it, and im really skinny. I have brown hair and brown eyes and I wear contacts.

Hmm.

Is there any other war of introducing the character?
It seems a little boring, it's like listing certian things.
The way i read it, it sounded like...
'I am in high school.
I am 15 in the 9th grade.
My parents are rich...
I am a stuborn kid
and i am skinny.
I also wear contacts..'

All in all, it is very good.
Just find another way to discribe the character.

[Spazzbite]

There is absolutely no reason why you shouldn't keep updating in your other thread. This thread is basically useless :X

PS: Western America = PST = Pacific Standard Time

EDIT: Also, how long are you planning this book to be?

[tnyhwk900]

An to those of you who dont know, Yes im gonna go all the way

[Lightknight924]

cool so far, do you know how many chpaters you plan to make?

[earth_lord]

at least 6

[OniSpltter]

Is that all you plan to include for Chapter 1 or is it just the beginning of the chapter... because if thats all to Chapter 1 and there are only going to be around 6 chapters this will turn out to be more of a story than a book.

~O.S.~

[earth_lord]

no that is the begining of the chapter

[OniSpltter]

Ok just making sure, tht wouldve been a really short book lol. I really love your ideas, they are very interesting but you need to learn better grammar skills if you plan to get this published. If nothing else find someone else to proofread and edit your work and share credit. To be honest I doubt anything would get published with these kind of grammatical errors (and no I am not saying that I use perfect english but I am also not writing a story) So work on your commas mainly and you could become a very good writer. Also I noticed you implimenting the ideas of others into your story (I.E. the currency problem) But you seem to be putting them in rather strange places, it felt out of place as I read it... I personally like the main ideas of the story but i dont like the flow of it. When you write something read it 3 or 4 times and think of it as someone elses work and think about if would like it if someone else had written it.

~O.S.~

[earth_lord]

Originally Posted by OniSpltter

Ok just making sure, tht wouldve been a really short book lol. I really love your ideas, they are very interesting but you need to learn better grammar skills if you plan to get this published. If nothing else find someone else to proofread and edit your work and share credit. To be honest I doubt anything would get published with these kind of grammatical errors (and no I am not saying that I use perfect english but I am also not writing a story) So work on your commas mainly and you could become a very good writer. Also I noticed you implimenting the ideas of others into your story (I.E. the currency problem) But you seem to be putting them in rather strange places, it felt out of place as I read it... I personally like the main ideas of the story but i dont like the flow of it. When you write something read it 3 or 4 times and think of it as someone elses work and think about if would like it if someone else had written it.

~O.S.~

I currently PMed Psychic25 if he wants to be editor of this project

EDIT: Psychic 25 is going to be editor.

[earth_lord]

ADDED A big paragraph

[CtrlAltDestroy]

lol spamalert

[Boneti]

WATCH OUT HE'S GONNA DOUBLE POST!!111

[earth_lord]

soory for double posting, by the way, Psychic25 has really did a number on my book so im editing now

[YungYung]

ll be posting my story please do not post in this forum unless your malreynolds, or psychic25,

When you open a thread in a PUBLIC FORUM, the PUBLIC reserves the right to post in it. You have NO right to say who is and who is not allowed to comment on your writing.

PS: There was no need to start a new thread.

[VxDx]

*punches self in face*