Ascension remastered! yeah!

[Zaevod]

Ascension is the third track I've composed, nearly two months ago. It's the theme of the main character of a series I write. The original version sounded awesome to me back then, but it sounds quite lame now. So I remade it:

https://soundcloud.com/zaevod/ascension-remastered

I'm much more pleased with this version.

Here's the original:
https://soundcloud.com/zaevod/ascension

[ScylaX]

It stills sound a bit... dull I think.
I mean it's not bad but your music lacks volume and power. It's super super... horizontal if you see what I mean. It's a straight line with little to no evolution through its whole length.

And I mean even in theme songs that are meant to be consistent impact-wise (without a structure with too much contrasts) you have to exactly think about how it can still have that sort of volume so every element that are put into it highlight each other.

I think making theme songs is a very hard exercise for that very reason. I mean it's easier to make musics with a very crude and somewhat simple structure like alternating between calm parts and impactful parts, because even though your contrasts may be rough and "obvious", they'll still bear a certain power and keep the whole piece into balance.
You really have to work on the structure of your musics and think about it while composing. Once you'll be done with it, I'm sure you could pull out amazing pieces.

[Zaevod]

Originally Posted by ScylaX

It stills sound a bit... dull I think.
I mean it's not bad but your music lacks volume and power. It's super super... horizontal if you see what I mean. It's a straight line with little to no evolution through its whole length.

I'm not sure if this is entirely fair, as this seems to apply to the vast majority of songs posted here (and in most places). Not to dismiss your criticism, but I can perceive an evolution throughout the song (especially contrasting the two choruses), even though the structure is fairly linear. It would help if you could be a little more specific.

Originally Posted by ScylaX

You really have to work on the structure of your musics and think about it while composing. Once you'll be done with it, I'm sure you could pull out amazing pieces.

You mean, more like this?
https://soundcloud.com/zaevod/mystery-path-through

[ScylaX]

I don't really know if what I said earlier actually match my feeling. But I know it's linked to what I said somehow. I mean, the "structure" thingy, but probably not as you understood it or as I made it understandable.
I don't think I'm biased because it's a feeling I usually have with most of musics composed by beginners (me included, it's like the two first years I passed composing were entirely made of songs like that).

And don't get me wrong, I think your skills are great ; even though your music really feels like it's... unpolished musically wise, it's still amazing there are parts that makes me think "I can feel where you're going".

Let's try again with random thoughts.
First, let's give up on what I said about "structure as in «parts that highlight each other»", I just know it's linked to the dullness (sorry my vocabulary is quite limited) that makes me write what I'm saying but that's not the "core" reason. Or not maybe how you view it.
I think it's linked to the fact I have difficulties about extricating a larger picture in your musics - y'know, a global atmosphere. I think that before getting inspired for a particular melody, you have to get in mind the larger picture, where you're wanting to incorporate it, how you want it to incorporate it. You don't have to think about it too hard like you were exactly calculating what you were doing, but I think it's an important thing to keep that in mind. I guess that's what your musics miss : there are segments that are really good, but they just lack a proper atmosphere I think.
When I come to wonder what vibes you're trying to convey, it feels like it's empty there, and that you have to fill it.

Don't know if I'm clearer but my words are definitely nearer from my primary intuitions about your work.
Anyway, if what I'm saying makes you think "But that's already what I'm doing" and that you have a clear certitude into that then I guess that's just me and that I'm just strange.

[Zaevod]

I'll keep that in mind. I guess it's just beginner myopia affecting me (because it does sound really good to me), especially considering how much better it is in comparison to the first version.