Incessant

Torac · 05-5-2004, 05:03 PM

Alright, I felt like getting this out because I really have no one else to talk to right now, and I feel as if I don't write about it somewhere or talk about it my mind will burst and I'll end up screaming. And seeing since this is pretty much the only thing I really do on the internet I decided to post innane ramblings. So if you are looking for something interesting to read I'm sorry to mislead you by posting this up, and you don't have to read it. And I'm sorry for wasting your time.

I just can't stop thinking about stuff, and I keep on getting this incessant need to hurt myself. I got out of clinical depression in October last year after being in depressed for 8 months. This depression pretty much devastated me. It hurt me, though I know I deserved it, and I deserved to feel the pain of it. It may be gone now, but in the places where I would've gotten a panic attack or broken down periodically, I now get something I can't describe, all I know is the fact that I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH I HATE ME I HATE ME!!! and it's very hard to control my emotions, and all I want to do is cause as much pain to myself as possible. I NEED TO HURT ME I NEED TO HURT ME. I hated myself immensely in my depression but that hasn't gone away. I don't know what to do, it comes more frequently and before where I'd brutally assault my psyche, I am starting to harm my self physically as well. I don't want to bother you people into helping me, i just needed to get this out. I just don't know what to do, and there are still times where I'm just so melancholy that I want to die, I want to rip myself from this existence or anniahlate my pathtetic self. I don't know what to do when the hurting begins, or how to deal with it, I just need to figure out a way to deal with it or I'm gonna crack like a nut.
Please don't get mad at me for posting this, I'm sorry.
Torac Keldar Daremo

cutesaru18 · 05-5-2004, 05:37 PM

You've already done one right thing... letting others know.

The best thing you can do is to get help NOW.

Talk to someone- parents, siblings (if you have any), friends, councelors, a doctor- anyone that is willing to listen, and

Also, get involved in activites that you enjoy. Set goals for yourself. Achieving these goals will build self-confidence and a sense of self-worth.

One final thing- don't apologize for the post. If people don't like the topic, they don't have to post a reply.

I hope anything that I have said helps. Just remember, the sooner you can get help, the better off you will be in the long run.

makaveli121212 · 05-5-2004, 05:49 PM

find something that you can enjoy and just do that whenever you feel depressed

**87x** · 05-5-2004, 05:58 PM

http://www.flashflashrevolution.com/...=10743&start=0

banditcom · 05-5-2004, 06:01 PM

Why do you hate yourself? Do you have real reasons why or what?

And don't apologize for posting this. It's no problem.

Anticrombie0909 · 05-5-2004, 06:26 PM

Geez, man...yeah, I'd do what cutesaru suggests. Get some help. Tell your parents or friends and get some pills. If nothing else, they'll make you feel better. Ranting online was a good thing to do, it's what I do when I feel kind of crazy (not online, but I rant). Feel free to rant as much as you want if it makes you feel better.

dontcareaboutmyid · 05-6-2004, 10:34 AM

Questions from me...

how do you want to hurt yourself?

you don't want to commit suicide correct?

Gender?

sorry if it sounds wierd but i think I know what's going on if i got my thinkings correct

05-5-2004, 05:03 PM	#1
Torac FFR Player Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 3	Incessant Alright, I felt like getting this out because I really have no one else to talk to right now, and I feel as if I don't write about it somewhere or talk about it my mind will burst and I'll end up screaming. And seeing since this is pretty much the only thing I really do on the internet I decided to post innane ramblings. So if you are looking for something interesting to read I'm sorry to mislead you by posting this up, and you don't have to read it. And I'm sorry for wasting your time. I just can't stop thinking about stuff, and I keep on getting this incessant need to hurt myself. I got out of clinical depression in October last year after being in depressed for 8 months. This depression pretty much devastated me. It hurt me, though I know I deserved it, and I deserved to feel the pain of it. It may be gone now, but in the places where I would've gotten a panic attack or broken down periodically, I now get something I can't describe, all I know is the fact that I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH I HATE ME I HATE ME!!! and it's very hard to control my emotions, and all I want to do is cause as much pain to myself as possible. I NEED TO HURT ME I NEED TO HURT ME. I hated myself immensely in my depression but that hasn't gone away. I don't know what to do, it comes more frequently and before where I'd brutally assault my psyche, I am starting to harm my self physically as well. I don't want to bother you people into helping me, i just needed to get this out. I just don't know what to do, and there are still times where I'm just so melancholy that I want to die, I want to rip myself from this existence or anniahlate my pathtetic self. I don't know what to do when the hurting begins, or how to deal with it, I just need to figure out a way to deal with it or I'm gonna crack like a nut. Please don't get mad at me for posting this, I'm sorry. Torac Keldar Daremo

05-5-2004, 05:37 PM	#2
cutesaru18 FFR Player Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 73	You've already done one right thing... letting others know. The best thing you can do is to get help NOW. Talk to someone- parents, siblings (if you have any), friends, councelors, a doctor- anyone that is willing to listen, and Also, get involved in activites that you enjoy. Set goals for yourself. Achieving these goals will build self-confidence and a sense of self-worth. One final thing- don't apologize for the post. If people don't like the topic, they don't have to post a reply. I hope anything that I have said helps. Just remember, the sooner you can get help, the better off you will be in the long run. __________________ The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

05-5-2004, 05:58 PM	#4
87x Retired Staff Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: VA Age: 38 Posts: 4,379	http://www.flashflashrevolution.com/...=10743&start=0 __________________ RAVEnHEXa: Lip ring is because I want to be a professional piercer. 87x: more like.. professional goth.

05-6-2004, 10:34 AM	#7
dontcareaboutmyid FFR Player Join Date: May 2003 Location: Wisconsin, Close to Canada Age: 37 Posts: 2,103	Questions from me... how do you want to hurt yourself? you don't want to commit suicide correct? Gender? sorry if it sounds wierd but i think I know what's going on if i got my thinkings correct __________________ Theory of Quantum Fetish Mechanics

05-5-2004, 06:01 PM	#5
banditcom FFR Player Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Willimantic, CT Age: 41 Posts: 6,243	Why do you hate yourself? Do you have real reasons why or what? And don't apologize for posting this. It's no problem.

05-5-2004, 06:26 PM	#6
Anticrombie0909 FFR Player Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 4,683	Geez, man...yeah, I'd do what cutesaru suggests. Get some help. Tell your parents or friends and get some pills. If nothing else, they'll make you feel better. Ranting online was a good thing to do, it's what I do when I feel kind of crazy (not online, but I rant). Feel free to rant as much as you want if it makes you feel better.

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