pregnancy help...

[Kilgamayan]

Age is used as a reason because the norm is that a 16-year-old is ready for sex both psychologically and biologically. Obviously there are going to be exceptions, but there's always going to be exceptions. Can you come up with a better system?

[FictionJunction]

I'm not talking about legal systems. I'm just refering to the fact most people who are 18+ will do what I explained in my last post.

[Kilgamayan]

I'm aware that such people exist, but even if pushing the age limit up above 18 solves that problem it will create new ones through the innocents (sex-ready 16/17ers) that get caught in the legal crossfire.

[FictionJunction]

Not that I ever proposed such a thing.

[Kilgamayan]

Then why bother calling choosing age as the marker retarded and shallow if you didn't have a better system in mind?

[CartoonHero94]

Wow Man Tough

[nforcer06164]

Something tells me that this girl was trouble to begin with. She may be your friend, but if she backstabbed her own best friends to go have sex with an older guy, knowing very well what consequences might result, what kind of person is she? I know very well if my own friend backstabbed me, and then got into some huge trouble from doing it, I wouldn't be very interested in helping them out.

I'm not saying that you should turn your back on her too, but you need to remember that this is not your responsibility. You are not obligated to get involved, and if she's selfishly caused you any problems, no matter how minor, through all of this, you should just forget helping her, because she doesn't deserve it. She did something really stupid. Stupid actions have consequences. She's not going to learn that any easier if she rides on tons of support.

My suggestion is an abortion. But it's another life? It's immoral? Forget all that crap. If she and the other guy were both adults, it might be a different story. But, odds are when she has this baby in her arms after it is born, she will not put it up for adoption, no matter what she says now. If she keeps it, she won't be able to finish her education, and she'll end up running the rest of her life on minimum wage and/or government support. In the unlikely case she gives it up, she'll constantly wonder what happened to her baby, and the child will constantly wonder where his/her mother/father is and why he/she was given up; "Was I not wanted?" or "What did I do?" I can't speak from experience on this issue, but I sure wouldn't want to be that kid, or see that kid living out his life asking that question.

If she didn't cause you problems during all of this, then go ahead and tell her what she's in for if she has this baby. Tell her that she can "cut and run" right now, clean herself up, and have a normal, successful life if she's smart about it. She did do something stupid, yes, but she can lessen the burden a whole lot if she chooses to not have the baby.

[FictionJunction]

Originally Posted by Kilgamayan

Then why bother saying choosing age as the marker retarded and shallow if you didn't have a better system in mind?

There isn't a marker that establishes who you can date and who you can't; it's all bound to one's ethics. There is, however, a marker that establishes who you can have sex with, and these vary from country to country.
There's clearly a difference between a 18 year old male dating an ~15 year old female and a 43 year old male 'dating' a 15 year old female. I don't see why the first would be considered unethical and wrong, whereas the other obviously is. It comes down to perspective. The issue only lies within people in their teenage years, since it is rather normal to see 22 year olds dating 18 year olds. Technically that is the same thing as an 18 year old dating a 14 year old.

Again, I'm complaining about teenager's (13 - ~19[moreso males between 17 - 19]) personal decisions as to whom to date when the decisions come down to things as superficial as age.

[Tokzic]

People who are intelligent and mature enough to have sex before the legal age usually understand and accept why they can't anyway.

Problems:

1) Everyone who has sex thinks they're mature enough to have sex (most aren't)
2) Everyone who's really young thinks it's possible to find everlasting love when they're that young (wrong)

[dontcareaboutmyid]

I think it is time to announce my new book I just finished writing.

Your Mouth Doesn't Get Pregnant: A Controversial Guide to Safer Sex.

In all seriousness, middle schoolers and people in charge of lawmaking and curriculum need to grow up. Students are having sex at younger ages and we need to be firmer with that fact that there needs to be punishments and standards when this kind of crap happens.

When a teen gets pregnant, they are NEVER allowed an abortion. Not only is it emotinally scarring, they shouldn't be allowed an easy way out. Have them go through the entire pregnancy, make them feel what its like and if they ever want to go through it again just for the ****s and giggles of temporary pleasure they'll know what awaits them on the other end if they're not ready for it. I'm all for the adoption stuff.

More sex ed. and not by teatchers that are mamby pamby about it. Get down to the nitty gritty. Mandatory sex ed at that. In my health class we learned all that stuff 7th grade, along with self defense and case study on situations of exploitation. Learned it all again in high school too. You don't like it? They value a human child's life at 300,000 (might be 500,000 but those are the 2 numbers) dollars in court, and that is CHEAP! You have 300,000 dollars you can just blow for a night of sex? I didn't think so.

[nforcer06164]

Originally Posted by FictionJunction

There isn't a marker that establishes who you can date and who you can't; it's all bound to one's ethics. There is, however, a marker that establishes who you can have sex with, and these vary from country to country.
There's clearly a difference between a 18 year old male dating an ~15 year old female and a 43 year old male 'dating' a 15 year old female. I don't see why the first would be considered unethical and wrong, whereas the other obviously is. It comes down to perspective. The issue only lies within people in their teenage years, since it is rather normal to see 22 year olds dating 18 year olds. Technically that is the same thing as an 18 year old dating a 14 year old.

Again, I'm complaining about teenager's (13 - ~19[moreso males between 17 - 19]) personal decisions as to whom to date when the decisions come down to things as superficial as age.

22 and 18 is reasonable because they're both adults. I don't think a college-bound senior dating a 14-year-old 8th grader is anywhere near similar.

You're missing the big picture here. Sex is a primal urge. But, just because you have an urge to do something doesn't mean it's right. I might have an urge to eat candy. Does that make it right for me to grab a bunch of candy bars from a grocery store shelf and walk out without paying? Of course not.

If I saw an 18-year-old passionately kissing a 22-year-old, I wouldn't think of that the same way as the former kissing a 14-year-old. It doesn't matter how your psychological views, whether they are correct or not, figure in to this situation; they don't. You're avoiding the whole physical aspect of the age difference.

It's a lot easier to date someone around your own age anyway, as you'll have a lot more in common as you face the same milestones in life at the same time. Hypothetically speaking, I know I would not want to hear my girlfriend complaining about her difficult history class in 8th grade while I'm struggling to pass calculus.

That's not what this whole topic is about anyway. Sorry from detracting from the focus.

[Anticrombie0909]

No offense, but you have to be amazingly stupid to end up with a child.

Edit: Who am I kidding? Yeah, take offense. None of this "no offense" bullcrap. I'm being deliberately inflammatory and I know it.

There are so many fail-safes for idiots like your friend in our society that it's unbelievable that we still have over a million unplanned teenage pregnancies every year. Condoms can be bought, cheaply, ANYWHERE. Planned Parenthoods and teen clinics can be found in any city in the nation, where you can get cheap (sometimes free) birth control, checkups, even Plan B pills and abortion options.

One day she's going to wake up and realize what a ridiculously bad decision she's just made, but by that point it's going to be too late and her life is now screwed, congratulations.

You want my advice? Slap some sense into your friend and tell her to get an abortion. She can't provide for a baby, OBVIOUSLY, not to mention it might be awkward for her going into high school with a baby on her hands. Goodbye future, hello wellfare and becoming a burden on society and intelligent taxpayers like myself who know how to use a frigging condom.

BTW dolts, just because she can become pregnant at 14 does NOT mean her body is ready to handle giving birth.

[Tokzic]

hi anticrombie

[dontcareaboutmyid]

holy lurk batman

[nforcer06164]

Why thank you, Anticrombie. The voice of truth and intelligence has come.

[_A2P]

Originally Posted by Nyokou

Because in America, a four year age difference is SOOOOOOOOO creepy, yet no one cares if your 34 and the other is 38.

RIGHT?

rofl my dad's a fucking pedophile.

[FictionJunction]

Originally Posted by nforcer06164

counter-argument

I can't say I'm not aware of this [the physical aspect of the whole situation] as you and I are only one year apart from each other. I believe the situation just varies alot. While most kids that age will have different themes for conversation and different things to complain about, etc etc etc, some just don't.

[FluorescentArmy]

If the guy is 18 he's considered an adult. Adult + Juvenile = considered wrong by many people. She's probably just using the guy for what I said in my first post + large floppy wang.

@condoms: I bought a box at sheets and they didn't even question me.

[dontcareaboutmyid]

@ fluorescentarmy

I would rather hear about a 14 year old buying condoms than a 14 year old getting pregnant.

also @ fluorescentarmy

At quick glance I thought you had written I bought sheets for condoms