tosh AMA

**tosh** · 08-16-2014, 09:59 AM

I know AMAs are pretty dead on here, but oh well.

Alternatively, I have an ask.fm account if anyone wants to ask anonymously. I may make a post copy/pasting every 5 new answers or something idk yet.

Zapmeister · 08-16-2014, 06:59 PM

You're playing poker with a tiger, an ostrich, a hedgehog, and a blobfish. You're holding 8s 8c and the flop is 4s 3h 5s. The tiger yawns and stretches itself out under the table and slowly returns to its seat and checks. The ostrich is standing on one leg because it wants to be a flamingo, and totally not because I just got an ostrich confused with a flamingo, and it bets 1/2 the pot. The hedgehog curls up into a ball and slowly calls, without making a sound. The blobfish already folded preflop. Do you fold, call, raise, or run screaming?

What is the greatest height from which you would be willing to jump into a swimming pool? (the pool can be as deep as you want it to be)

Today, I first heard of the concept of hoodies that zip all the way up over your face. I can't see why this would be of any use. What is the point of wearing a hoodie where you can't see where you're going? It completely defies the whole point of clothing to deprive yourself of your senses. I just don't get it. Even in a morphsuit you can still see where you're going (I have one, though not the brand name). Why do people wear this stuff?

You get drunk one night and then you wake up and find yourself on a freezing cold park bench in Switzerland with no money, no passport, no shirt, and no memory of how the hell you got there. Approximately how long do you think it would take you to get back to *looks at location* Nebraska?

**tosh** · 08-16-2014, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zapmeister

You're playing poker with a tiger, an ostrich, a hedgehog, and a blobfish. You're holding 8s 8c and the flop is 4s 3h 5s. The tiger yawns and stretches itself out under the table and slowly returns to its seat and checks. The ostrich is standing on one leg because it wants to be a flamingo, and totally not because I just got an ostrich confused with a flamingo, and it bets 1/2 the pot. The hedgehog curls up into a ball and slowly calls, without making a sound. The blobfish already folded preflop. Do you fold, call, raise, or run screaming?

Raise. There aren't many hands that the others would've stuck with before the flop that would beat me in this situation. Also want to drive away the straight and flush draws.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zapmeister

What is the greatest height from which you would be willing to jump into a swimming pool? (the pool can be as deep as you want it to be)

Probably like 5 feet or so. I'm kinda scared of heights.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zapmeister

Today, I first heard of the concept of hoodies that zip all the way up over your face. I can't see why this would be of any use. What is the point of wearing a hoodie where you can't see where you're going? It completely defies the whole point of clothing to deprive yourself of your senses. I just don't get it. Even in a morphsuit you can still see where you're going (I have one, though not the brand name). Why do people wear this stuff?

I would totes wear one if I was trying to take a nap or something. Also, say you're sitting down waiting for a class to start or something and you see an ex that you don't get along with anymore. You could zip the entire thing to prevent them from seeing you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zapmeister

You get drunk one night and then you wake up and find yourself on a freezing cold park bench in Switzerland with no money, no passport, no shirt, and no memory of how the hell you got there. Approximately how long do you think it would take you to get back to *looks at location* Nebraska?

Go to a police station and see what they can do to help. Who knows - maybe I would like to stay in Switzerland. There are times when I hate Nebraska.

EDIT: Got 15 questions (!) on ask.fm, so here they are + my answers.

a dslr records at 30 frames per second but a gopro records at 29.97 frames per second making it a pain to edit things. why do they make it so annoying?
To be dicks. No other excuse for that.

what % of the songs that get played as background music in shops would you be able to recognise (like by knowing the song title)?
Depends on the shop. Though if it's a shop that I frequent: probably like 50%.

under what circumstances would you not take the free item in a buy 1 get 1 free (of the same thing) deal?
If I have no use for the items, the 1 item is too expensive, or the items have an expiration date that I wouldn't be able to use the item by.

you're in an alternate universe where the ultimate measure of your inherent worth as a human being is your skill at flappy bird. how much do you think you'd enjoy your life?
I'm fairly average at flappy bird, so I guess life wouldn't be much different.

if you were a cinema owner, would you give invisible people discounts? (a) yes (b) no (c) bagels
No. If I give the invisible people discounts, then I feel that I would have to give the visible people discounts as well. At that point I'm just dropping prices.

do you know whether you are 3 degrees of friendship away from someone famous? i.e. you are friends with someone who is friends with someone who is friends with someone famous. if not, instead of "friendship", read "acquaintance"?
Was 2 degrees of separation away from Patrick Swayze, though he died 5 years ago. At this point idk if I am. My stepfamily has some connections though, so I would assume I am.

would you allow yourself to be pushed by me into a really cold (but not freezing) lake on the condition that i will allow you to do the same to me afterwards? if you want to ask why would i do this, the answer is for absolutely no reason at all. (i will try to rescue you if you find it necessary.)
Nope. I don't want to be pushed into a really cold lake. Alternatively, I likely don't want to push you into a really cold lake either.

if everybody on earth who spoke english suddenly decided to switch to using the wingdings character alphabet instead of the normal alphabet, but other languages weren't affected, how long would you take to adapt to the wingdings alphabet? or wouldn't you?
I have an elementary understanding of German, so I likely would get more experienced with that. After that I would probably try learning Chinese (given that a large percentage of the population speaks it).

why are bitcoins going down?
I'm not well versed enough in bitcoin to say for certain what its flaws are.

on a scale from 0 to 10, where 0 is not annoyed at all, and annoyed enough to kill someone is about 9.75, how annoyed are you at the fact that the song "uptown girl" by billy joel has a grammar mistake: "and now she's looking for a downtown man / that's WHAT i am"? (what --> who)
0

would it be possible for a woman to be shaped like a hexagon? (outnumbered, season 3, episode 2)
Maybe with the help of the world's most messed up corset, but otherwise I don't see it.

in usa there are 6 types of coins (only 4 regularly used); in the uk there are 8. self checkout machines in uk are based on the american model so they only have 6 coin buckets so there is no 10p or 50p bucket. this is annoying when i get 50p in change like 20p,20p,5p,5p. how does this make you feel?
I can see the ease of use of not having to mess with that. There is already a design in place that can be mass produced.
On the other hand, the UK is large enough entity that I feel they should have self checkout machines specific to them. Of course I'm only basing this off of the information that you provided me, so it's very possible that you're joking with me and that they actually do.

why do we drink cow milk? i mean who was that one guy who first looked at a cow and thought "i think i'll drink whatever comes out of these things when i squeeze them!"? isn't that weird?
I've asked myself that same question.

what exactly is creme fraiche?
It is a mystery.

if you got an invite to appear on the tv show wipeout, would you accept or decline? if you accept, how well do you think you'd do on it? if you decline, and you get the chance to give it to someone you know, whom would you give it to?
Decline and give it to someone I don't like for the sole purpose that get embarrassed.

top · 08-17-2014, 12:58 AM

why are so many people scared of asking you questions on this forum?
what color is your hair?
why did you grow your hair out so long?
do you ever plan on cutting your hair or do you wanna let it grow for ages??
have you ever punched a walrus? (irl or fake it doesn't matter)
will you always be pale?
do you think you could pull off being a vampire?
would being a vampire be cool in your opinion?
what color boxers am i wearing right now?
what's the first thing you'll do when you graduate?

**tosh** · 08-17-2014, 01:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by top

why are so many people scared of asking you questions on this forum?

idk my bff jill

Quote:

Originally Posted by top

what color is your hair?

Like a light brown. I want to dye it again though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by top

why did you grow your hair out so long?

Reasons. I've been meaning to tell you but I've been half procrastinating/half super nervous. Text me or message me on skype so we can have a real talk. I would prefer explaining over text/PM as opposed to on the phone.

Quote:

Originally Posted by top

do you ever plan on cutting your hair or do you wanna let it grow for ages??

See above answer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by top

have you ever punched a walrus? (irl or fake it doesn't matter)

I want to pet all of the walruses. I'm a petter, not a puncher.

Quote:

Originally Posted by top

will you always be pale?

idk

Quote:

Originally Posted by top

do you think you could pull off being a vampire?

I would be the most luscious vampire.

Quote:

Originally Posted by top

would being a vampire be cool in your opinion?

The whole drinking blood thing sounds terrible bleh no thanks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by top

what color boxers am i wearing right now?

Transparent.

Quote:

Originally Posted by top

what's the first thing you'll do when you graduate?

Job applications weeeeee.

**XelNya** · 08-17-2014, 06:37 AM

What would you say is the meaning of your life?

How long is your hair?

If Benguin and I got into a fist fight who would win? (Had to add a question to lighten the post.

)

**tosh** · 08-17-2014, 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XelNya

What would you say is the meaning of your life?

Really cliché answer, but I just want to be happy. Work a job that I'm indifferent about so I can enjoy my time around family, friends, and what not.

Quote:

Originally Posted by XelNya

How long is your hair?

It's only about shoulder length at the moment, but my hair is super thick/has a lot of volume.

Quote:

Originally Posted by XelNya

If Benguin and I got into a fist fight who would win? (Had to add a question to lighten the post.

)

Benguin technically doesn't have fists (because of his flippers). Therefore, you win by default.

top · 08-22-2014, 10:43 PM

what do you look for in a female?

how long do you think you'll live?

what was the most recent thought of me you had?

do you enjoy flying?

if you could become a racecar driver, would you?

what is your dream car?

Zapmeister · 08-24-2014, 03:50 PM

upon seeing your raise the tiger jolts upright and stares at you slightly intimidatingly and laughs at itself and calls, while always maintaining its glare. the ostrich is trying to come to terms with the fact that it isn't actually a flamingo, and folds. the hedgehog thinks motionlessly for a long time then reluctantly calls too. the turn card is 10h. the tiger hasn't stopped staring creepily at you and casually throws out a bet of 1/2 the pot. the hedgehog backs away from the tiger slowly, and calls. do you fold, call, raise, or run screaming?

edit: also, wouldn't you suffocate if you tried to take a nap wearing a hoodie that zips over your face?

**tosh** · 08-25-2014, 12:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by top

what do you look for in a female?

Main thing I look for in a person is if they're just awesome to be around.

If you're talking about physical characteristics (on a woman):
I'm pretty open tbqh. I wouldn't say there is a "must have" trait that I look for.

Quote:

Originally Posted by top

how long do you think you'll live?

Forever.

Quote:

Originally Posted by top

what was the most recent thought of me you had?

Quote:

Originally Posted by top

do you enjoy flying?

Fer sure. Nap strats.

Quote:

Originally Posted by top

if you could become a racecar driver, would you?

Hell no.

Quote:

Originally Posted by top

what is your dream car?

Don't care about cars. I'm fine with whatever looks decent and doesn't run like a potato.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zapmeister

upon seeing your raise the tiger jolts upright and stares at you slightly intimidatingly and laughs at itself and calls, while always maintaining its glare. the ostrich is trying to come to terms with the fact that it isn't actually a flamingo, and folds. the hedgehog thinks motionlessly for a long time then reluctantly calls too. the turn card is 10h. the tiger hasn't stopped staring creepily at you and casually throws out a bet of 1/2 the pot. the hedgehog backs away from the tiger slowly, and calls. do you fold, call, raise, or run screaming?

I suppose it would depend on what kind of player Tiger is and how much money was in the pot pre-flop. I may just cut my losses and fold just so Tiger and Hedgehog battle it out. I'm not really an aggressive player, so Tiger and Hedgehog's calls kinda have me worried.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zapmeister

edit: also, wouldn't you suffocate if you tried to take a nap wearing a hoodie that zips over your face?

Point taken.

JurseyRider734 · 08-25-2014, 01:33 AM

are you tosh.0?

**tosh** · 08-26-2014, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JurseyRider734

are you tosh.0?

It's a work in progress.

08-16-2014, 09:59 AM	#1
tosh O Derby, Where Art Thou? Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Virginia Age: 32 Posts: 1,011	tosh AMA I know AMAs are pretty dead on here, but oh well. Alternatively, I have an ask.fm account if anyone wants to ask anonymously. I may make a post copy/pasting every 5 new answers or something idk yet.

08-16-2014, 06:59 PM	#2
Zapmeister FFR Player Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: England Posts: 466	Re: tosh AMA You're playing poker with a tiger, an ostrich, a hedgehog, and a blobfish. You're holding 8s 8c and the flop is 4s 3h 5s. The tiger yawns and stretches itself out under the table and slowly returns to its seat and checks. The ostrich is standing on one leg because it wants to be a flamingo, and totally not because I just got an ostrich confused with a flamingo, and it bets 1/2 the pot. The hedgehog curls up into a ball and slowly calls, without making a sound. The blobfish already folded preflop. Do you fold, call, raise, or run screaming? What is the greatest height from which you would be willing to jump into a swimming pool? (the pool can be as deep as you want it to be) Today, I first heard of the concept of hoodies that zip all the way up over your face. I can't see why this would be of any use. What is the point of wearing a hoodie where you can't see where you're going? It completely defies the whole point of clothing to deprive yourself of your senses. I just don't get it. Even in a morphsuit you can still see where you're going (I have one, though not the brand name). Why do people wear this stuff? You get drunk one night and then you wake up and find yourself on a freezing cold park bench in Switzerland with no money, no passport, no shirt, and no memory of how the hell you got there. Approximately how long do you think it would take you to get back to looks at location Nebraska? __________________ Theorem: If you have a large enough number of monkeys, and a large enough number of computer keyboards, one of them will sight-read AAA death piano on stealth. And the ffr community will forever worship it. Proof Example ask me anything here mashed FCs: 329 r1: 5 r2: 4 r3: 6 r4: 8 r5: 3 r6: 5 r7: 15 final position: 4th

08-17-2014, 12:58 AM	#4
top Banned Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 1,907	Re: tosh AMA why are so many people scared of asking you questions on this forum? what color is your hair? why did you grow your hair out so long? do you ever plan on cutting your hair or do you wanna let it grow for ages?? have you ever punched a walrus? (irl or fake it doesn't matter) will you always be pale? do you think you could pull off being a vampire? would being a vampire be cool in your opinion? what color boxers am i wearing right now? what's the first thing you'll do when you graduate?

08-17-2014, 06:37 AM	#6
XelNya [Nobody liked that.] Join Date: Sep 2012 Posts: 3,358	Re: tosh AMA What would you say is the meaning of your life? How long is your hair? If Benguin and I got into a fist fight who would win? (Had to add a question to lighten the post. ) Last edited by XelNya; 08-17-2014 at 06:37 AM..

08-22-2014, 10:43 PM	#8
top Banned Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 1,907	Re: tosh AMA what do you look for in a female? how long do you think you'll live? what was the most recent thought of me you had? do you enjoy flying? if you could become a racecar driver, would you? what is your dream car?

08-24-2014, 03:50 PM	#9
Zapmeister FFR Player Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: England Posts: 466	Re: tosh AMA upon seeing your raise the tiger jolts upright and stares at you slightly intimidatingly and laughs at itself and calls, while always maintaining its glare. the ostrich is trying to come to terms with the fact that it isn't actually a flamingo, and folds. the hedgehog thinks motionlessly for a long time then reluctantly calls too. the turn card is 10h. the tiger hasn't stopped staring creepily at you and casually throws out a bet of 1/2 the pot. the hedgehog backs away from the tiger slowly, and calls. do you fold, call, raise, or run screaming? edit: also, wouldn't you suffocate if you tried to take a nap wearing a hoodie that zips over your face? __________________ Theorem: If you have a large enough number of monkeys, and a large enough number of computer keyboards, one of them will sight-read AAA death piano on stealth. And the ffr community will forever worship it. Proof Example ask me anything here mashed FCs: 329 r1: 5 r2: 4 r3: 6 r4: 8 r5: 3 r6: 5 r7: 15 final position: 4th Last edited by Zapmeister; 08-24-2014 at 03:59 PM..

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