01-24-2006, 10:49 PM
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CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: A Denny's Bathroom.
Age: 36
Posts: 6,571
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The Wonderful Adventures of Sid Linner!
Sid Linner stood about five foot nine and he loved solving planet-spanning mysteries. From the humble beginnings when he trekked through time to uncover the real Jack The Ripper to his more recent cases involving the hideous arachnid race of aliens who all spoke with impeccable British accents and also had funny words for things like “elevator” (particularly because they didn’t have elevators- they were spiders, so any and all traveling was through a system of webs and pulleys) which they called “vertical web tracking.”
If this seems like a lot of information to absorb at this point, that’s because it is. And if you’re still being taught that Jack the Ripper wasn’t apprehended, then it means that Sid hasn’t come into existence yet to change the past. On his way back to the past, he saw himself coming to the future. As a rule of thumb, he didn’t look himself in the eye. Sid knew the complications of time-travel, but at the time, it was the most cost effective way of gaining notoriety. Of course, he interfered with time law, and along with notoriety, he was also arrested and sentenced to an undetermined number of years. At least, until Sid from the future came to break him out. Since the jailbreak, all forms of time-travel have since been prohibited. Sid has been a wanted fugitive since, but has still maintained that for a man to be truly happy, he must follow his heart. And Sid’s heart was built for solving crimes and finding missing persons. Sid stands about five nine, brown hair and brown eyes. You wouldn’t be able to pick him out of a line-up, because he was forgettable in almost every respect, save for the one that he built his illegal trade around: If you needed something or someone found, he could find it. If you were looking for vengeance, he could get it for you. But it all came at a price. Our story today, young reader, takes us to the planet Alvexar. We will be picking up shortly after Sid has been broken out of jail by his future self, but once again, time-travel is a tricky business, and one that I’m not going to go through great lengths to discuss. Alvexar was the third colonized planet after the expansion of Earth. Subsequently, it became the second colonized planet after people started going, “Well, what the hell is ‘Earth’ anyway?” Alvexar was a particularly dry planet, as were the inhabitants. Cities, of course, littered the landscape for miles. Rain generators had been put up to ensure that there was enough water to go around in the central cities, which were always cloudy under a mask of promised moisture. A group of nomadic people wandered the sparse deserts in between the large cities ransacking caravans and shooting down hovering transports with mobile EMPs. The nomads wisely did not choose electronic equipment when it came to crashing and looting, thusly their skills were put to the test when they looted fallen craft. They were not hostile, just poor and perhaps misunderstood. They were also known as “Vexers,” and people in the cities generally did not fear them. There was no mysticality behind it; a bullet would put them down, and several would scare them away. As long as you were careful, you would be fine as you passed between cities. The rich diplomat, on occasion, would pass through not heeding the warnings of those in the cities. They would ride in gaudy carriages that were summarily attacked. The Vexers would take the diplomats hostage, but no ransom was ever paid. The stance on hostage negotiation on Alvexar was simple: “We do not negotiate with Vexers… Especially when it comes to diplomats.” The second part of that quote isn’t really a rule. It’s more of an unspoken guideline, really. After being broken out of the prison on Machine Planet, Sid and his future counterpart crash-landed their short range craft onto the harsh, sun baked and cracked surface of this strange planet. They were attacked immediately by Vexers. Naturally, young Sid was scared out of his mind. Old Sid was a little taken aback by the ordeal, but it was actually very quaint. They were dragged all the way to the Vexer encampment that was nestled snugly between two mountain chains, like a pendant between ample cleavage. “What are you going to do to us,” young Sid asked. “What? Oh, nothing.” “You dragged us all the way back to your camp, and –“ “Well, if you wanted to walk, you should have said something, really. It was quite a ways, if you didn’t see. ‘Sides, we could have left you out there to die under your craft, but that wouldn’t really be very nice of use, would it gang?” The Vexers that stood around the camp entrance all shrugged. Old Sid shrugged, as well. They were marched into the back of the encampment where they were given water and a shell of bread. Old Sid gave his to Young Sid. Eventually, Young Sid made his way to the front of the camp, to the supposed chief of this encampment. “So, when can we go?” “Well, now I suppose, if you really wanted to. It’s kind of hot out. We usually move at night. Easier to walk around.” “How abouts we leave at night, take off in separate directions and head to a city? I mean, I have to ask Old Sid, but I’m sure he’s going to agree with it.” The leader shrugged. It seemed to be a very casual thing to shrug, as if to say, “I dunno.” Young Sid walked to Old Sid and proposed breaking away from the group that night. Old Sid shrugged. Young Sid sighed. “What good are you if you’re not going to tell me what I’m supposed to do?” “I have my limits, Young Me. If I tell you everything, self discovery is gone and then what are you left with?” Young Sid sighed again. “Why are you calling me ‘Young Me?’ I’m not that young.” “Yes, well, comparatively you are. I’m sixty, you’re… How old are you?” “You’re worse than my dad –“ “Our dad.” “Whatever. I’m twenty five.” Old Sid laughed. “I should remember that, shouldn’t I? Anyways, I’m just going to give you this little view-screen that I picked up from one of the Vexers. I’m sure you’ll figure out what to do.” He handed the piece of machinery over. View-Screens were made popular in the 22nd Century after people realized that Cell-Phones couldn’t span planets and that video-phones were just clunky, impractical, and would kill you if you used one while driving. The premise was simple: You had access to bare-bones news and could contact any number of affiliates that you had listed. The front viewer news-story was printed in big, bold letters: “Daring Escape Made By Twins!” The story read: “Earlier yesterday afternoon, on Machine Planet, a daring escape attempt occurred when a very old man resembling a very young man (see: Sid) broke that same very young same looking man out of prison and flew away on the police forces own short-range trans-planet vehicle, approximately in the Alvexar region. “It is believed at this time that the two men are not linked, and that the break-out was just the beginning in a rash of unrelated break-out crimes. Machine Planet is said to be stepping their security up from ‘Mild’ to ‘Spicy,’ as to what that means, is anyone’s guess. “When asked why the police just didn’t follow the tracker to Alvexar, the PR man for Machine Planet Police Force Squad simply said, ‘We have new trackers that don’t track the old output signals. We’ve been meaning to… fix that, I guess.’ Enclosed are two pictures of the men.” Young Sid sighed. It was a wonder the Vexers hadn’t turned them in already. Young Sid took a seat on a rock and began to leaf through the rest of the View, taking a look at the date book of a now deceased diplomat. “Do you all kill all of the diplomats?” The Vexer closest to him shrugged. The contents of the date book were bare. He had two appointments on Alvexar before taking off to Machine Planet, where he was to take over the investigation of the breakout pending his return. Young Sid chuckled. Three phone numbers were listed. “Mom, Dad and Machine Planet Pizzeria.” The caravan left later that night with the Sid’s in tow, a plan formulating in Young Sid’s mind. Old Sid already knew the plan, and approved. - The caravan meandered out of the supple twain areas of the mountain and headed out into the vast desert while an almost immobile hover-craft took off in the opposite direction. Inside, fiddling with the controls and praying not to crash sat Sid, watching out the window simply because the view-finder was so far gone it was easier to guide by eye sight than broken instrument. As the Vexers began to attack the latest gaudy group that entered the stretch between Isis and Orce, Sid successfully pulled a crash-landing at the city limits of Orce. He turned back in the craft to the trunk the Vexers had left him. He donned the shawl, obscuring his face from the casual observer, took the View-Screen and made a hasty escape from the sparking craft. - On Machine Planet, the leader of the Machine Planet Police Force Squad was reviewing the tapes of the escape. It had been executed quite masterfully; Old Sid had walked in, punched the guard out, took the key, let Young Sid out and then shot the next three guards that came through the door. Chief Chewie reviewed the tape with a keen eye when his assistant, Hang Glidron walked through the door with a fresh warrant. “What’s this, Hang?” “It’s a fresh warrant, sir.” “This says ‘Sid Linner, Time Bandit and murderer. Wanted Dead or Alive.’” “Is that a problem, sir?” “Well… The only thing Sid is guilty of is breaking out of prison. Dead or Alive really isn’t warranted.” “But sir, he shot those guards.” “That was the other guy.” “The other guys IS Sid.” “What do you mean, Hang?” “It’s Sid from the future, sir.” “Impossible. Time Travel is prohibited!” “That didn’t stop him from using it.” “I’m confused, Hang –“ “Old Sid went back in time and broke Young Sid out of prison. They’re the same person but from different times.” “I’m not following.” “If we kill or arrest Young Sid again, than those guards will be alive. It’s time-travel. It’s hard to explain, sir, but just follow me on this. I’m pretty sure I’m right.” Chewie sat down on the chair, the hydraulics squeaking. “How can they be the same person, Hang, when one of them is so much older? It just doesn’t make any sense.” “Sir, just let me handle it.” Chewie nodded. “Alright, yeah. Go ahead.” Chewie pulled a cigarette out of the desk-drawer and began to nervously peel the paper from the tobacco, which he chewed and swallowed as the tape played over and over. - “Because I’m THE DIPLOMAT! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?” “I just think you need to settle down. You don’t have any of the I.D required and we’d be intrusting you with an awful lot of money.” “I don’t think you follow me. I can have your job if I wanted. I could get you fired, go home and punch your wife in the face and not get in trouble. All you’re doing is prohibiting me from doing my job, which is taking this money to Machine Planet so they can update their tracking systems.” “Mr. Diplomat, sir, I just –“ “You just got yourself a one way ticket to the unemployment line.” The old man sighed and pulled his glasses off, his sparse white hair falling out from the stress. “You don’t have any of the I.D required to take the package. I can’t just let you take it. For all I know, you’re not the diplomat! You’re a man in a shawl!” “I have the diplomats – I mean, I have my View-Screen. It has my appointments in it. Why don’t I just add an addendum? Fire OLD GUY!” The old man sighed. “Let me see the View-Screen.” Sid handed it over. The old man pulled a stylus out of his pocket and began to navigate the pages, looking at the phone numbers and date-book. He smiled. “It’s all been a mistake, sir. Please, take the package of money and go on your way. Also, don’t fire me.” “You’re lucky that I’m in a good mood, Old Guy, otherwise your ASS would be GRASS!” Sid grabbed the briefcase of money and quickly walked out the door, smiling behind the shawl he was wearing. The Old Guy was just confused, wondering what exactly “grass” was. - In the caravan, Old Sid looked at the arrest warrant and frowned. “This is certainly news to me.” - Young Sid walked to the Orce Hangar, avoiding the camera on his way in. He held up the view-screen and the worker behind the glass cage nodded. He reached back and pulled the ignition stick from the wall. “It’s got enough fuel to get you back to Machine Planet, sir Diplomat.” Sid sighed. One of the last places he wanted to be. “Alright, thank you.” “I’ve taken the liberty of setting the auto-drive… Considering last time, the incident you caused.” Sid remembered the incident. He had watched the news-wave in prison. A rich diplomat had too much in the way of schnapps and crashed his short-range vehicle into the side of an orphanage before getting out and vomiting on the side of the building. Sid said, “Thank you,” but the only thing he could really think was, “Of all the diplomats for me to be impersonating, and I’m the idiot that threw up on the orphanage.” The short-range craft took off into space, heading back to Machine Planet. Sid would be there in a matter of hours. - The Caravan had been wiped out by the Machine Planet Police Force Squad. Old Sid was nowhere to be found. - The craft landed in Machine Planet Docking Bay 6. Sid had abandoned the shawl in favor of a more contemporary look; a popped color and tight jeans. He stepped out of the shuttle, handing the case of money over to the worker with specific instructions. He took off into the heart of the city to pick up a few supplies that he would need for his new business enterprise. Sid stepped inside the Business Card shop and had several thousand made that he jettisoned into space shortly thereafter. He also took of to buy a View-Screen of his own; if people found the cards and called, they would need someone to talk to. - Machine Planet consisted of eight large cities that rotated around a central magnetic plate, keeping all cities equally spaced from each other and keeping the planet constantly shifting in all directions. This made it a pain in the ass to properly land a ship on the surface of the planet; if you missed a city, your ship would hang out near the magnetic core, floating back and forth. The Police Force Squad would have launched rescues for such ships, but it would be very costly, and if you couldn’t pilot a ship properly, you were beyond rescue. That was the popular view. - Sid was walking away from the gun-shop with laser mount, space to surface missiles, two revolvers and shotgun when his View-Screen began to make an odd beeping sound. He pulled it out of his pocket and clicked around until he found the source of the noise. Someone had sent him a picture. The picture was very simple and by art house standards, not good at all. The framework was shoddy and the colors were displayed all wrong. The image was clear, though. Old Sid, dead somewhere on Machine Planet. Young Sid frowned, bringing the weapons back to his ship which was undergoing massive reconstruction. He paid the worker to attach the laser-mount and add a missile bay before loading his revolver and setting off into town. - “I’m not quite sure I follow your plan, Hang.” “I sent him a picture of his older self dead to his View-Screen, which Old Sid had on him, so he’ll be drawn to find out what happened.” “How can he find out what happened if he’s dead, Hang?” “Sir! It’s… Young Sid isn’t dead. Old Sid is dead.” “I’m not sure I understand. How can we arrest someone that’s already dead? I know the warrant was Dead or Alive, but we usually go for the second one.” “I know, sir, but Young Sid isn’t dead.” “Hang, I think I need a second to think this over.” Hang’s face grew a bright shade of red, matching his uniform. He stormed out of the room, furious with the fact that he worked under such a dolt. Hang walked over to his desk where the forms for The Weapon sat. He signed Chewie’s name at the bottom and sent them through the vacuum tube. - Sid recognized a part of the background on the picture of the view-screen. It was at the prison. Whoever had killed Old Sid wanted Young Sid back. Young Sid was going to oblige them, momentarily. - The door to the prison foyer broke open. Sid fired three darts from his revolver into the guards before they could reach their weapons. They dropped the ground, asleep. The layout of the prison was familiar, to say the least. He had been there before, and this was the way he had left. He began to the trek back to his old cell. - The design of the prison was somewhat flawed. There were elevators to take you down flights, but there were no up-elevators. When each elevator reached the bottom, it would be sent back to the top to repeat the rounds. Another flaw of the system was glaring; there was only one car. All staircases in the building were up-only. The only way to get down was to use the ladder if the elevator was in use. This was the popular system for elevators in most buildings on Machine Planet. It had been designed by children, who had been infatuated with ladders and elevators that made a tickle in your tummy as they went down. The delegates behind handing over the design of the inter-building transport system to children had convinced themselves it was the right thing to do because children were innocent. Children were also stupid. The delegates were later shot. - Sid approached his prison cell, not surprised to find himself from the future slumped dead in the corner. An alarm sounded deep inside the building. Sid let out a sigh of frustration. Hang stepped out from around the corner, grinning. “Well, Sid, the only man who has ever escaped from Machine Planet prison… How does it feel? How does it feel to be caught in my trap?” “Don’t sell me short. I’m not caught in anything yet.” “Like hell you aren’t. Sid Linner, you’re under arrest for time-obstruction and… Future murder?” “Yeah, well, I have a gun.” Sid pulled his revolver out and fired a dart square into the chest of Hang. “What’s this?” Hang pulled the dart out, examining it. “A sleeping dart.” Hang laughed. “You’re a better man than I am, Sid. I would have shot you with real bullets if…” His speech began to slur. “If I had the chaaaance…” Sid smiled. “I bought the wrong bullets.” As the alarm continued to sing, the guards ran to Sid’s location. He stood, palms up, gun on the ground. “I surrender,” he grinned at the guard troop. And down in the bowels of the building, the “All Open” switch clicked into place. Floor upon floor upon floor of prisoners ran from their cells, screaming and hollering. They ran for the door, clapping and jumping. The guards were torn. Conflicted, half splintered off to take the prisoners again, while a small group went after Sid, who had since picked up his revolver and ran to the elevator. The doors slid shut as a guard slid inside. “Sid Linner, you’re re-under arrest for –“ Sid punched him in the jaw. The guards scurried down the ladder to the foyer, waiting for the elevator to stop. More had splintered off to go find other prisoners. Sid frowned to himself, inside the car. It probably hadn’t been the wisest choice on the planet to let all of those prisoners out, but – he hit the emergency stop button – it was the only action that insured he would escape. Sid took off down the hallway to a barred window. He pressed one button on his View-Screen and heard the rumble. From the shop, his ship took off towards the prison, solitary laser firing at the wall. It collapse, and the ship turned sideways letting Sid in. He smiled and pulled away from the prison. It hadn’t been the hardest mystery in the universe to solve who had killed Old Sid. The real trick would be finding a way to arrest him. - Sid was in deep space moments later, View-Screen in hand. He had photo-captured the young upstart responsible for the death. He ran a background check remotely from a sky-base with an inter-net café. It came up clean. Sid frowned, but couldn’t quite shake the feeling that he had seen this “Hang Glidron” before. - “Well, he’s in a short range vessel. Several people saw him take off.” “That’s the thing, sir,” Hang continued tiredly. “The man at the ship-yard said that he requested some modifications.” “What kind?” “Extra fuel reserves and a refrigeration system for food, taking the acceleration cap off and adding extra sensors along the side of the ship for faster travel. He also had two weapons put on: A laser and space to surface missiles.” “He turned it into a long-range vessel?” “Yes, sir.” “Hang, how could he do this if he’s already dead?” Hang let himself out of the room. - Sid took off from the sky-base hours later. He didn’t have a flight plan. His View-Screen beeped. “Mr. Linner, I found your card. “I have a job for you. Enclosed are instructions on how to get to my planet. Come alone. There will be payment.” Sid smiled and put the coordinates into his computer before taking off into the distance.
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"A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline." "Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, Ill give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback! |
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01-25-2006, 09:19 AM
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FFR Player
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Feaefaw
Age: 35
Posts: 6,122
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Re: The Wonderful Adventures of Sid Linner!
Quote:
But still, pretty funny.
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He who angers you conquers you. ~Elizabeth Kenny |
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01-25-2006, 10:18 AM
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CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: A Denny's Bathroom.
Age: 36
Posts: 6,571
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RE: Re: The Wonderful Adventures of Sid Linner!
After finishing the initial intro story (which this is) then I'm going back to my other projects. This is my side project, a muse of sorts that I can always go back to because I've always been kind of comfortable with sf over horror.
Part II will have Young Sid hatching the plan, getting another short range ship and other goodies. He doesn't actually solve a mystery in this section, but will if/when I write another Sid Linner adventure. Mal
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"A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline." "Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, Ill give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback! |
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01-25-2006, 12:09 PM
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#4 |
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CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: A Denny's Bathroom.
Age: 36
Posts: 6,571
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RE: Re: The Wonderful Adventures of Sid Linner!
Added part II to the original post.
Story Complete (so far) Mal
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"A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline." "Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, Ill give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback! |
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01-25-2006, 07:49 PM
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#5 |
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auauauau
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Hee-Haw!
Age: 35
Posts: 8,897
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RE: Re: The Wonderful Adventures of Sid Linner!
Oh, cool beans. GG Future!
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01-25-2006, 08:57 PM
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The Worst
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: space ghost is dead to me
Posts: 2,816
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RE: Re: The Wonderful Adventures of Sid Linner!
alvexar? come on...
might as well just call it sylvester
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01-25-2006, 10:35 PM
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#7 |
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CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: A Denny's Bathroom.
Age: 36
Posts: 6,571
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RE: Re: The Wonderful Adventures of Sid Linner!
Yes, well, I also named the cheif villains after Han and Chewie... Also... "Hang Glidron?" Hang Glider anyone?
Mal
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"A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline." "Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, Ill give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback! |
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01-31-2006, 10:47 PM
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FFR Player
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: where ever you aren't
Age: 33
Posts: 1,671
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RE: Re: The Wonderful Adventures of Sid Linner!
I'm so confused. But, in a good way.
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