The Prisoner

[mead1]

Yeah, another Sestina. They are the only poems I write.

--

The silent man behind the Walls
Contemplating his dingy Cage
Deaf to the jeering Guards
Pondering the word Crime
Lost in his own Thoughts
Unaware of the passing Time

He recalled the other Cage
Those were painful Thoughts
Trapped behind cubicle Walls
Spending 9-5 wasting Time
His "coworkers" were his Guards
But then he had done no Crime

He recalled with vivid Thoughts
As he had slain his Guards
Blood on the prefabricated Cage
But had it really been a Crime?
He had only wanted out of those Walls
Freedom from the arduous Time

He felt no remorse for the Guards
They were guilty of a more serious Crime
They sold their hearts and Thoughts
They saw not the value of Time
All he did was escape the Cage
Tearing down lives like Walls

The prisoner saw there no Crime
They too were now free from the Cage
Where they were now had no Guards
In the afterlife there are no Walls
In the eternal dark there are not even Thoughts
Outside reality one is even free of Time

He considered this in his Cage
Where he was alone with his Thoughts
He found solace in this place of Crime
Where he awaited the end of Time
He didn't mind the Guards
Nor the physical Walls

So sat the man behind the Walls, Until he was taken from the Cage
Then killed by the Guards, for his murderous Crime
"He deserved it" were their thoughts, they saw his type all the time.

[MetalMethodMan]

First post in literature... cool...

Anywho.. I liked it. I almost didn't read all of it because I didn't like how it started, but once he killed the guards, I was pretty much set. I really liked the poem as a whole, but the end was dissapointing. He just died. End? Didn't feel like it. Personally, I would have liked to have heard his thoughts as he was being executed. Something to sum up his reasoning for killing them or something to add more "feeling" to the poem. It's a little cold and dark with little emotion. He wanted to be free, but that's a little too normal. Maybe some other emotion, something sadistic or simply evil, anything to make the reader go, "whoah, this guy means business."

I enjoyed this a lot. I commend you for taking on this type of poem as well. It's too strict and rigid of a style for me, but you pulled it off well.

Cheers.
-MMM-

[FoJaR]

you cant spell guards.

[MetalMethodMan]

you cant spell guards.

My my, that is some helpful advice.

[mead1]

Originally Posted by FoJaR

you cant spell guards.

You have a fantastic point.

I am going to kill myself now.

[ReikonKeiri]

Same 5 words at the end of each sentence in the stanzas. I like it.

Is that what a sestina is? I don't remember ever hearing that term.