Premaritial Sex

[purebloodtexan]

Originally Posted by devonin

I'm curious to hear how exactly you defend one particular age as "Proper age"

For one, any legality is usually concerned with comparative age, to stop adults from taking advantage of those too young to understand what they are agreeing to.

But what about when both people are under 18 (This number varies a lot by country and situation of course)? Should that actually be illegal? What's the reasoning behind that?

It is one thing to say "Wait until the arbitrary legal age where the government figured most people would be intelligent and mature enough to handle it" entirely out of a sense of, I don't know, civic duty, because you genuinely feel that violating any government law is wrong, but to somehow imply that the arbitrary number is any more or less "correct" than any other seems pretty foolish to me.

Proper = legal.

I'm not saying that it shouldn't be allowed, but why can't they just wait until they're 17/18*?

*17 is the legal age in Texas

[devonin]

Originally Posted by purebloodtexan

Proper = legal.

I'm not saying that it shouldn't be allowed, but why can't they just wait until they're 17/18*?

*17 is the legal age in Texas

Because the arbitrary age doesn't have any objective reasons why it exists and many people feel (correctly or incorrectly) that they are prepared for it in advance of that particular birthday.

Also...why is it "proper" just because the state government says it is? Have they ever given you any -reasons- why you should agree?

[Velious]

Get laid is great

no seriously there are no real reasons to abstain from sex outside of morals

and if you have those morals you're dumb

end

[TheRapingDragon]

Originally Posted by GuidoHunter

Who unwittingly engages in abstinence? It's a choice to develop a greater appreciation for sex with your spouse.

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

Skipped a couple of pages, but I have to disagree with your point there. Sex is not something you put off until you have a piece of paper telling you that it is now ok to go to the next stage of physicality with your significant other. That, in my opinion, does not make either party more appreciative for sex.

I personally believe that holding off until marriage detracts from a relationship because you place it so highly, as if it is on a pedestal that you cannot touch until you have attained the heights of marriage.

Sex is you and your partner being comfortable enough with each other, and trusting each other to be totally committed to that person for life. Enough to give your body and soul. I believe that abstaining for the sake of marriage will eventually detract from a relationship. You are stunting your relationship by forcing restrictions until a certain time. By all means if that reason is that you aren't ready then that is proper. If that reason is because "sex isn't until marriage" then I believe you have the wrong ideals.

I am all in agreement with abstaining from sex until you are both ready, but that shouldn't be pre-determined by saying "we'll be ready when we are married". Marriage is a natural progression in a relationship that is destined to be for life whereas sex is a natural progression of trust and committment towards each other that should be nurtured rather than diminished.

[Velious]

"Sex is you and your partner being comfortable enough with each other, and trusting each other to be totally committed to that person for life."

1 out of every 500 sexual encounters maybe

[TheRapingDragon]

I'm talking about in a serious relationship that will eventually become a marriage, I'm not talking about casual relationships.

This is a debate for sex before or after marriage so it is logical to presume I am talking about sex around marriage.

[TheRapingDragon]

Originally Posted by Izlude77714

your mom had no morals and thats where you came from

o shi!

im out guyz pece

This is critical thinking. If you continue to post in here like that then you'll probably get banned. If you aren't going to add anything to the debate then don't bother even coming in here.

[talisman]

back to the 17 is the legal age in texas thing... really? two consenting 16 year olds can't have sex in texas? That's kinda crazy.

[devonin]

That's actually strictly the case in almost all places. One of the funny things about how the law is written says that if two 15 year olds have sex, it is about 90% likely that the law rules that the female was just statutory raped.

The saving grace is that when both parties are below such ages of consent, it is incredibly unlikely that a parent will press charges, and almost no judge would rule that either party was in much of a position to be taking advantage of the other.

In a related story, there is a guy in I think Georgia (I think the thread might even have been on these forums) He was 19, he was having sex with a 17 year old, and is being charged with statutory rape, and could go to prison, and be forced to become a registered sex offender...

[talisman]

Yeah the star football straight A kid or whatever... I remember they videotaped the incident and it was clear that the girl was totally up for it, and he only got a blowjob, but the jury had no choice given the law.

And that's crazy if true about laws prohibiting sex between consenting minors. I knew of course that there were laws for sex between adults and minors, and certain age limits (aka 18 with 17 is ok because it's only one year), but I never knew there were actually laws that said you can't have sex at all until you're 17 or 18. In fact, that almost smells really fishy to me. Seems like an infringement on one's human rights.

[purebloodtexan]

Originally Posted by devonin

Because the arbitrary age doesn't have any objective reasons why it exists and many people feel (correctly or incorrectly) that they are prepared for it in advance of that particular birthday.

Also...why is it "proper" just because the state government says it is? Have they ever given you any -reasons- why you should agree?

I didn't mean to use "proper" the way you interpreted it, which is why I clarified it in my last post.

And when I heard about the legal age and whatnot, I just said "I don't see why not," and didn't question it any further. Sex when I'm legal seems just fine to me. Also, it might be just me, but by the age of 17, I can probably see that this is the woman I love and probably want to spend my adult life with.

It depends on what you view sex as, really. I see it as giving life to a child and limited recreation, not something I would do often. A phrase I use often: "You don't have to be politically correct."

[devonin]

Originally Posted by talisman

but I never knew there were actually laws that said you can't have sex at all until you're 17 or 18. In fact, that almost smells really fishy to me. Seems like an infringement on one's human rights.

Like I said, "One of the funny things about how the law is written "

I don't know that all that many places have explicit laws forbidding sex between two consenting minors, but since there is a law forbidding "sex with a minor" it doesn't distinguish whether the other person is or isn't a minor.

[csoup1414]

Originally Posted by sgkoneko

Condoms. That's how you prevent diseases. Now, whether or not you want to have sex should be up to you and no one else(except the person you want to have sex with of course).

Why is this a debate?

yea, forgot that...i would always use one
well, unless i were trying to have a child...then what if i contract a disease that way?
well, unless its one thats treatable...then its not really that big of a problem, although i think id have a little talk to my husband lol
but if its aids...well, im in trouble arent i...because then my child would have it too

[VampyressKyttie]

I'm Christian and had always wanted to wait until marriage but I didn't. I lost my virginity a few months before I turned 18 to a guy I had been dating for several months and I thought I was in love with him. I regret having sex with him because I realize now that I wasn't in love with him anymore. I have now been in a relationship for a year and 8months as of today, we are madly in love and when we "have sex" I feel so close to him and really loved.
I believe premartial sex is ok if your in love with somebody and if it makes you feel loved not just because it feels good eventhough it does, lol. However I do think that some people take it to far and whores are not ok. Nobody really wants to be with a whore in the long run so eventhough you may be getting a lot of ass you could be getting STD's plus any chance of finding real love goes out the window.

[devonin]

Yeah, your profile's interests of "My SEXIE BITCH of a boyfriend Shayne, sex, and sex with Shayne." certainly make you seem like a very prim and proper christian lass.

So...you wanted to wait until you were married, didn't, regretted not waiting, but now are continuing to not wait with an entirely different person? If the point of waiting until marriage is just as much emotional as it is physical, it's not like once you lost your virginity, you could no longer derive some "benefit" from waiting with the -next- guy until marriage...I'm a little confused about this.

[purebloodtexan]

Originally Posted by devonin

Like I said, "One of the funny things about how the law is written "

I don't know that all that many places have explicit laws forbidding sex between two consenting minors, but since there is a law forbidding "sex with a minor" it doesn't distinguish whether the other person is or isn't a minor.

I remember a thread about a couple (The girl was 16, the boy 17) sending naked pictures of themselves via e-mail. Somehow, it leaked out, and the boy was charged with indecent exposure to a minor. It depends on how they find out.

Indeed, it's a bit of a weird law, but I just don't see why I shouldn't follow it. I've had to wait until I was 14 to get driving lessons (Which I've only had one so far, and that was in December), I have to wait until I'm 16 to get a license, and I have to wait until I'm 21 to drink on my own*. Holding on to my virginity wouldn't kill me.

Quite frankly, I'm not even sure that I want to drink alcohol.

[devonin]

And if they moved all the ages for all of those things to 25, would you just go "Ah well, I guess I'll wait longer" ?

[purebloodtexan]

Originally Posted by devonin

And if they moved all the ages for all of those things to 25, would you just go "Ah well, I guess I'll wait longer" ?

That's the thing, they're NOT going to move it to 25, so it's no concern to me.

[VampyressKyttie]

Originally Posted by devonin

Yeah, your profile's interests of "My SEXIE BITCH of a boyfriend Shayne, sex, and sex with Shayne." certainly make you seem like a very prim and proper christian lass.

So...you wanted to wait until you were married, didn't, regretted not waiting, but now are continuing to not wait with an entirely different person? If the point of waiting until marriage is just as much emotional as it is physical, it's not like once you lost your virginity, you could no longer derive some "benefit" from waiting with the -next- guy until marriage...I'm a little confused about this.

I never said I was prim and proper but I am Christian and I did want to wait until marriage. When Shayne and I started dating I told him I wanted to wait and he waited until I said it was ok. I have been with him a long time, we are in love, and plan on getting engaged soon. Therefore I see nothing wrong with us making love.

[devonin]

If you don't see the flaws in that logic, pointing them out again won't likely do anything, so I won't bother.

Moving right along then...To Purebloodtexan: Says who? The problem here is that you're saying "I'll do what the law says, for no reason other than the law says so" So my question is: What happens if the law changes to something you think is nonsense? Do you still do it anyway? Do you protest? Do you ignore the law?