what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

[Cavernio]

Why do you feel the need for 'mature' reasons to do things?

I think our culture's changing such that I can ask you the question, why marry? If our society where such that committing to long-term relationships is unusual, now adults would have the same 'immature' reasons to date and have sex as teenagers would. Parenthood could become a single-person choice, (and already has for many women), and as such is becoming separate from the dating scene. You don't even have to have sex if you want to be a parent these days. Companionship is not exclusive to long-term romantic relationships either; it can be found in just about any relationship you have.

I think I agree with what you've said Relambrien, and I don't think what you've said just applies to men. (What is it with people thinking the sexes are so different from each other?) Perhaps the intensity of feelings is often stronger in men, (generally speaking, definitely not always). There's also that even if one person doesn't reciprocate the attraction as strongly, or much at all, they still like the attention, and also that someone being attracted to you can make you attracted to them, particularly if you respect the other person. Goooo narcissism!

[Zageron]

I didn't bother reading the whole thing. But...

I think dating in the ages of 8 - 13 is fine. It's just kids copying older kids, so they can get used to it in life. As for an 18 year old dating a 15 year old. I think thats wrong. In 70 odd % of the cases this happens its ether the 15 yo wanting sex bcause he/she is curious, or the 18 yo is looking for an easy playmate... -_-

[kandolyn]

dating is just practice for when you're older and ready for a commitment.
there's nothing wrong with that.

[Relambrien]

Originally Posted by Cavernio

I think I agree with what you've said Relambrien, and I don't think what you've said just applies to men. (What is it with people thinking the sexes are so different from each other?) Perhaps the intensity of feelings is often stronger in men, (generally speaking, definitely not always). There's also that even if one person doesn't reciprocate the attraction as strongly, or much at all, they still like the attention, and also that someone being attracted to you can make you attracted to them, particularly if you respect the other person. Goooo narcissism!

Well, since I -am- a man and -not- a woman, I cannot honestly expect to be able to speak for someone with whom I can't even empathize on a subject, having had no experience on the other side.

[Intrastat]

I'm gonna go ahead and say what's already been said: Teen dating just gives people an idea of what to look for later on in life.

That said, my friend (18) is dating a girl (15) and I rip on him about it every day. It's the saddest thing to see a college man dating a junior in high school.

[Cavernio]

Originally Posted by Relambrien

Well, since I -am- a man and -not- a woman, I cannot honestly expect to be able to speak for someone with whom I can't even empathize on a subject, having had no experience on the other side.

You're assuming you can't empathize with someone of the opposite sex. The only way I see someone never being able to empathize with the other, is if the feeling involved is completely foreign. If you have even an inkling of what it's like, I think there's a strong possibility of empathizing, if you choose. Women do have sex drives you know. Men and women seem to possess the same capacity for all feelings. We're all humans.
That you can't for sure speak for someone else about an issue or feeling is always true of course, and I think that the ability for the other person to understand and even empathize depends a lot on how similar they are to you, but failing similarity between 2 people, meaning can still be conveyed as long as enough situational and cultural background is discussed. I'm sure you've read books by good female authors that involve attraction of some type, and surely those sections must not've been foreign to you. Or, you've read books by female authors written from the perspective of male characters, and they make sense.

[ltbby]

Children dating is pretty much pointless because you can't go out when you want and see that person and all that mess. I know I had little boyfriends..or just called boys my boyfriend for about 5 mins or something. I guess it's all just a part of youth ha. Teenage dating is okay with me. I don't see anything wrong with it..just as long as you are making good decisions like whether or not to have sex and stuff like that.


:]

[FatalRay]

Well I am a teenager myself, and I am almost 17...I have been with my girlfriend for almost 9 monthes now and we arn't showing any signs of weakness yet...Too be honest...sex was never a big part in my mind, yes, I love it, it's amazing but that is not the meaning to a relationship for me. I'm very happy with my gf and I can say that teens do possess the ability to actually have meaningful relationships. Me and my girlfriend do want to marry oneday. But we are of course waiting. Love is love, and people will know when they are in it, and if it will truly work. Teen, or not.

[Relambrien]

Originally Posted by Cavernio

You're assuming you can't empathize with someone of the opposite sex. The only way I see someone never being able to empathize with the other, is if the feeling involved is completely foreign. If you have even an inkling of what it's like, I think there's a strong possibility of empathizing, if you choose. Women do have sex drives you know. Men and women seem to possess the same capacity for all feelings. We're all humans.

In my experience, almost every time I've tried to guess a woman's feelings in a situation like this or the types of thoughts in her head, I'm completely and totally off. This is what allows me to know that I cannot empathize with women in such a situation. I'm sure other men can, however.

Originally Posted by Cavernio

That you can't for sure speak for someone else about an issue or feeling is always true of course, and I think that the ability for the other person to understand and even empathize depends a lot on how similar they are to you, but failing similarity between 2 people, meaning can still be conveyed as long as enough situational and cultural background is discussed.

It's probably because it's late, but unfortunately I seem unable to understand this part.

Originally Posted by Cavernio

I'm sure you've read books by good female authors that involve attraction of some type, and surely those sections must not've been foreign to you. Or, you've read books by female authors written from the perspective of male characters, and they make sense.

Well, actually this isn't true. I have in fact read books involving attraction by female authors, and to this day I haven't been able to understand the reasoning of a single female character in any of them (though admittedly, I haven't read -that many- stories like this) in such a case.

As for female authors writing from perspective of a male character, well, I tend to have difficulty remembering authors' names. Because of that, I can only remember a few books that I'm certain fit this description. However, if I recall, the male characters' reasoning did make sense to me most of the time, though there were a few scattered parts where I was completely baffled.

Now, I'm not saying it's impossible to empathize with someone of the opposite sex, just that it's impossible for -me-, based on experience. I'm completely certain others can, though..

[devonin]

Read "Memoirs of a Geisha" by Arthur Golden if you're curious to read a book involving female main characters written by a male who knows what he is doing. Alternatively, read "Exile's Honour" or "Brightly Burning" for books written by women involving male main characters.

[Relambrien]

Originally Posted by devonin

Read "Memoirs of a Geisha" by Arthur Golden if you're curious to read a book involving female main characters written by a male who knows what he is doing. Alternatively, read "Exile's Honour" or "Brightly Burning" for books written by women involving male main characters.

Thanks; I'll look into those.

[Cavernio]

Originally Posted by Relambrien

In my experience, almost every time I've tried to guess a woman's feelings in a situation like this or the types of thoughts in her head, I'm completely and totally off. This is what allows me to know that I cannot empathize with women in such a situation. I'm sure other men can, however.

I wouldn't call that inability to empathize. Once she explains her thoughts to you, only then if you don't understand her reasoning is there a lack of empathy.
Also, it could be more of a factor of the women you've been with. Men who I feel have understood me are ones which I have quite a bit in common with, and/or are ones who we've spent hours upon hours talking about personal things with. Have you ever been really good friends with a woman before? (You don't have to answer that, just throwing it out there.) There are men who I'm sure wouldn't be able to understand me easily, just like there're women who I'm sure wouldn't be able to either.

Originally Posted by Relambrien

It's probably because it's late, but unfortunately I seem unable to understand this part.

Even if you don't have much in common with someone at all, if they're good at communicating, and you have an open mind, then it's still possible to understand them.

Originally Posted by Relambrien

Well, actually this isn't true. I have in fact read books involving attraction by female authors, and to this day I haven't been able to understand the reasoning of a single female character in any of them (though admittedly, I haven't read -that many- stories like this) in such a case.

If these were run-of-the-mill romance novels, then I don't blame you. They seem to often assume innate understanding of situations, which makes sense seeing the demographic they're geared for. They've usually got a boring story, and I personally don't much care for the sex scenes either. I did when I was 11. Not my choice of reading material or pornography (FYI, many women admittedly read them for sexual arousal, hence, making them porn.)

Originally Posted by Relambrien

Now, I'm not saying it's impossible to empathize with someone of the opposite sex, just that it's impossible for -me-, based on experience. I'm completely certain others can, though..

You're still young; I think you'll find you'll be able to with the right person.

Books to try:
Anything by George Eliot. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Eliot
I've only read 1 book by her, however, Silas Marner, and, the culture it's written in is completely foreign to me, however, because she does such a good job of conveying it, I understand the reasoning behind the characters. That particular book had no romance in it though.
Have you ever read any of the Earth Children series, by Jean Auel? Clan of the Cave Bear is the first one. That's entirely a woman's perspective, but the second book in the series, she writes as men also. It also has a completely different culture in it too though.
Seemingly against what I said about romance novels, Gone with the Wind is a really good read as well. I personally don't know why that's called a romance actually. I've never seen the movie. It definitely offers new perspectives, and again, different culture. (I see a trend in what I like in a novel.) Author's female, Margaret Mead.

I'd like to be able to say that you just haven't been able to understand the romance for the female characters because what you've read is poorly written...

[shatteredgravity]

Originally Posted by kandolyn

dating is just practice for when you're older and ready for a commitment.
there's nothing wrong with that.

it also teaches you lessons on what to not do in a relationship. besides the lessons you can learn from dating, i see it as half pointless because all you do is either end up with your heart broken, OR you ended up having sex and then your heart gets broken. i feel half and half about dating.

[shadowraikiri]

stop arguing ppl, dating is just another part of life, it teaches you what not to do in future ones (if there ever are any) like what gravuty said, but its just another part of life, plain and simple. im 14 ive been with my Girlfriend for more then a year, we're going strong.

[shatteredgravity]

Originally Posted by shadowraikiri

im 14 ive been with my Girlfriend for more then a year, we're going strong.

lucky.

[Go_Oilers_Go]

I think that you should really only start dating at age 12 at the earliest. "Dating" before that is just sorta sad because the kids have no idea what they're doing.

[jakspar0w]

Originally Posted by shadowraikiri

stop arguing ppl, dating is just another part of life, it teaches you what not to do in future ones (if there ever are any) like what gravuty said, but its just another part of life, plain and simple. im 14 ive been with my Girlfriend for more then a year, we're going strong.

It's CT, we're supposed to argue.
On topic :/
I'm a teen, and I say dating is fun. I mean, why watch a romantic movie and wait until you're like 19 or so to date? I'm sure many people agree with me that it's better to just...not wait?
Not only that, but many people are curious about the opposite sex (or same, whatever haha), by dating them you can find out more about them.
Finally, like everyone else said, it's good to have some practice for the future, eh.

[Tex :)]

I think it is just so stupid for children and younger teens to be dating... that all I really have to say...

[GamerShadow]

Edit: the post I mention in the first paragraph is #18 of this thread by Rel.

In relation to the post that described affection for a person of the opposite sex in the form of "tolerance", I must say that I may have been through that. I am not completely confident in my statement, but I feel that what was said makes sense. When I was about 13-14 (7th and 9th grade), I always had internal struggle, or conflict, when I had a crush on somebody.

Of course, being the guy who to this day has still not had a girlfriend yet, I was forced to wait until the feelings died down, due to a change in taste, or some other reason.

Now, I don't have those feelings anymore. There is seldom any conflict, or feeling, to the point where I have trouble distinguishing it between a crush, and a respect for the person. (There is a difference between the two.)

tl;dr version: What he said makes total sense to me.

[panphil]

there is a lot of people i know who date for having sex. i am not one of these. i think that childrens (0 to 11 or 12) that say they are dating just look stupid. ex.:my sister says :eewwww kissing my boyfriend (shes 11). she have "broke" with him and thats why i nerver had a grilfriend at this age.