An Open Letter To The Starbucks Cashier

[lord_carbo]

Originally Posted by bluguerrilla

How about topsy-turvy, that's a "nice guy" word.

actually, that might work. I'll see what I can do with that. Thanks.

[devonin]

Needs more mob language.

As you will see by the amorphous state of your living room, your home is in desperate need of protection only Eastman Home Security can offer. Our appraisers have demonstrated that no hiding spot is adequate for your items; what you need is security. As you will find upon further inspection, a beautiful 24 karat gold necklace and other valuables have been removed from the niches of your drawers of trinkets. And may we point your attention to your 42" Toshiba plasma screen TV, or lack thereof?

During our complimentary and completely committment free inspection of your home, our highly qualified professionals discovered several glaring flaws in your home security network. The ease with which they discovered the places where you'd hidden your jewelry and other expensive belongings could be easily duplicated by any criminal who wandered by your broken window and gained entry. The portability of even your expensive home electronics makes it a simple task for any person or persons to simply carry off your personal belongings.

[lord_carbo]

I love you so much. Thank you.

[devonin]

This is secretly why I don't post in this forum. I know I'm too awesome. :P