09-22-2019, 11:49 PM | #121 |
Jesus on the dashboard
Join Date: Apr 2017
Age: 24
Posts: 109
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Re: life story thread
folded for page length or whatever. i feel guilty reading you guys spill your guts and me not contributing anything back
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09-23-2019, 02:44 PM | #122 |
same world/diff dimension
Join Date: Sep 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 843
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Re: life story thread
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09-23-2019, 03:29 PM | #123 |
T-Force's Rival
Join Date: Dec 2010
Age: 27
Posts: 1,865
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Re: life story thread
ok i was purposefully not commenting on people's stories but i gotta say wscb im both super duper jelly and in awe 'cause you were able to do the thing that i tried so hard to do last year (get into med school). not that that's really an integral part of your story it seems like, but if you had the aptitude for that then i'm sure you'll succeed in things that you're passionate about. gl with finishing your degree!
not taking risks is good. if it makes you feel any better though, i don't think you're close to the path rn. granted binge drinking poses health risks on its own, and your body might be telling you something if you're getting tremors after a night of heavy drinking. |
09-24-2019, 09:24 PM | #124 |
Retired Staff
All the things
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Re: life story thread
Alright so at this point it’s like 4am and I’ve got nowhere to go and no one to call. I end up getting in touch with my ex with the son who comes to pick me up from my, well now, other ex’s place. He doesn’t have a place so he can’t house me, he was staying with family who now hated me for breaking things off. I went and hung out with a friend for a bit so he could go do some things and then he picked me up and I basically lived in his car for a bit until I could get my funds to get a place. Which that’s a whole fucking long story too, but basically he’d stolen my money in a stupid oversight from the bank and whatever, it’s just a pain in the ass and fucked things up. Anyway, he knew of an open place in PA because his friend live in the building, 2br for $650 a month. Hell yeah I can manage that on the unemployment I was getting for the time being. He asked to live with me and I figured well, if you work and do your part sure, so he moved in as well. Shortly after Frankie also moved in with us, which I won’t get into a whole lot surrounding all of that out of respect, but we definitely all had some issues at times. There’s people here who will know what went down. So this is now 2009, and the time I started getting heavily into FFR. I’d played on and off for years prior, but never seriously like I did at this point.By now I was having such severe anxiety attacks they’d send me to the hospital because it felt like heart attacks. It got so bad I couldn’t leave my apartment, I’d barely eat and I’d not eat anything my hands touched for fear of germs. It was a really whacked out time in my life. I basically did nothing but play FFR and chat with people. I also started having trouble with my wisdom teeth, which to this day is not resolved. I can’t really talk too much about this time period because it involves a lot of people from the community, some here, some gone now. But out of respect I won’t speak of the good nor bad ‘cause it may involve things they don’t want disclosed. The only thing I’ll bring up was I met AJ the summer of that year on FFR and we’d started chatting regularly. After talking for about 6 months I guess it was, AJ finally made the decision to move in with me. He wrote his story here and I don’t recall everything he’d mentioned, but his home life wasn’t really sitting well with him and this offered him a fresh start. So by the end of Jan 2010 I had a Halogen in my house. That started a whole new hilarious dynamic with the other two living there at the time, but again I’m gonna shush. There were a lot of ups and downs that happened, I got the surprise! You’re pregnant! May of that year and that summer we ended up losing the place because we had too many people and it was against fire code. So two went their separate ways, AJ, myself and my ex along with his new GF moved into a place. But they both refused to work or contribute so my dad offered for us to stay in SC with him and my stepmother. My stepmom has never been that great towards me, not the worst but she can be really nasty at times. A lot of crap happened down there that I honestly just don’t feel like typing up but let's just say we were there from Oct till two weeks after Saphira was born and then we were Jersey bound once again.
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Last edited by psychoangel691; 09-26-2019 at 12:42 AM.. |
09-26-2019, 12:45 AM | #125 |
Can't handle my ÆØÅ
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Re: life story thread
Might contribute here at some point, but writing long stories are sort of tricky because of my short attention span
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09-27-2019, 12:55 AM | #126 |
The Doctor
Join Date: Apr 2006
Age: 35
Posts: 6,145
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Re: life story thread
Warning: This post talks extensively and explicitly about a dysfunctional sex life, so if that's not your cup of tea - skip it. It all has a very important impact on the direction of my life.
TL: DR Communicate with your partner instead of trying to save their feelings. We all have different needs that will come out eventually. ------------------------------------- |
09-27-2019, 01:55 AM | #127 |
Retired Staff
All the things
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Re: life story thread
Gonna see if maybe I can close this out and summarize a bit better. Aj and I bounced around for a bit longer while trying to find solid footing somewhere. From SC we stayed at my mom's temporarily in NJ, then got our own apartment. My job fucked me and cut my hours so we moved to Chicago with his father and his at the time girlfriend. We discovered a mold infestation that made me really sick and I swelled up bad. We stayed in a hotel for a few days and I'd posted on Facebook about what happened seeking help for the situation cause we'd lost a lot of belongings too. This resulted in AJ's dad's gf flipping out on me for posting "her business" which no one on my page knew her but whatever. So she kicked us out. So we rented an SUV, took what we could and drove out to MD to stay with my aunt. By this time I was pregnant with Ariana.
We both got jobs at the kohl's ecommerce and stayed at my aunt's for 5 weeks before getting a place out here. I had Ariana and things were okayish I guess. But we had no car and the area we lived in wasn't a good one. So once again we set off to a better area, or so we thought. Only to get ripped off by the complex and find out it wasn't so great there after all. Though during this time I will note is when AJ and I had started hitting kind of a weird breaking point. I guess it was more on my end, but basically things were rocky on and off and I mean I think most couples have their moments. Now I'm pretty sure he's okay with me talking about his sexuality and if I'm wrong, I'm super sorry AJ. But I'd also come across by accident a folder on his PC containing same sex art well just say it. So I approached him gently about it and that's when he told me he'd always been bi-curious but without doing anything didn't really know. So this is where we finally ended up in an open relationship. I brought it up to him and he kinda looked at me sideways at first but lol we went for it and it honestly ended up being the best thing for us. Now we'd had a plan for him to get a chance to explore his sexuality but then someone else came into the picture prior to the person that it was supposed to be. I have to be vague because basically from this point forth anyone we've done anything with is from one rhythm game community or another. But anyways, before anything happened we moved yet again, to our 3br townhome which was pretty nice for the most part, but shitty landlords. This is when that person finally flew out for a visit and things went good for the most part. Few hiccups but hey, learning curve right? Ultimately feelings were had and we'd thought about doing the whole poly thing, which cool fine I'm open to it, he is as well. But as it would turn out this person admitted to me later to basically using me to get to AJ cause they'd be interested in him for a long time. This ended up fucking me up pretty hard emotionally for a bit. Over the next few years we had some heartbreaks for both of us trying to let people in, so that wasn't great. I mostly stick to the sex aspect of things because frankly I don't really care for the emotional stuff much anymore and I don't connect the two. Whereas AJ tends to look for a deeper connection I think. We've had our solo deals with hooking up and times we've hooked up together. Most of the times it was like that it was fun and lighthearted but seems any time emotions got involved with anyone it was a mess. I had a few people screw me over to the point where I was suicidal again, AJ had made some mis-steps at this point too. Niether of us are perfect, so I'm not trying to call him out or anything just trying to explain to me my world was falling apart. Between my medical crap and the pressure of just trying to survive and dealing with a lot of people doing some shitty things it was just bad times. So yeah I really overall have to leave a lot out because of it being so closely related to the community in various ways, and honestly trying to tell my whole story is exhausting lol. So basically we stayed at that place for 4yrs. His mom moved in with us cause she was screwed over by the hurricane hitting Puerto Rico, zenith also lives here with us. We moved from that place to the one we're in now because we found mold again. Now basically I've been faced with more medical crap, had to have my appendix out, they found large teratomas in my ovaries that I need taken care of and my wisdom teeth are really fucked. I've been in agony for days lately. Normally they don't give me too much pain, just been really jacked up for the last decade. But I can't do shit about it because I need pre-treatment meds which are like 30k, I need it done in a hospital setting and need an oral surgeon even willing to do it, which I've been turned away a lot for years. I also lost my health insurance so that doesn't help. But yeah, that's basically where things are now. Hopefully this all gave at least some sort of glimpse into my life and if anyone wants to talk/ask anything feel free. I'm almost always on discord n stuff. Honestly could use the company. |
09-27-2019, 08:24 AM | #128 |
The Dominator
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: North Bay, ON
Age: 35
Posts: 8,987
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Re: life story thread
Shit psychoangel, you've been through the ringer let me tell you. I feel ashamed of my own story in comparison as the sole cause of my current situation (drug addict) is myself. It's been escalating too, last night I decided to play Breath of the Wild and do speed all night and it was a blast, until about 2 hours ago when I realized I was going to have to go to work strung out and anxious. To compensate I took a ton of Xanax and now I feel like a zombie struggling not to get a panic attack. Kind of just opened up about my situation with a coworker and I feel a lot better. Starting to realize my problem is escalating and I might have bit off more than I can chew. I need to take a weekend off
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09-27-2019, 09:25 AM | #129 | |
Retired Staff
All the things
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Re: life story thread
Quote:
I don't judge anyone for being an addict, I used to have a different mentality on it of "well you made the choice to do it in the first place" but hell for some people it takes that one mistake and it's over. I don't think anyone in life should be condemmed for a single mistake. I believe there's something to addictive personalities, honestly if I weren't terrified of drugs I'd not be surprised if I were an addict. I guess one benefit of losing my uncle in the timeframe of where I'd probably have started was that it scared me off from ever doing anything hard. I smoked pot, sure, but never tried anything beyond that out of fear. And it was offered to me. Actually another thing I could note, the addict ex I had that put me into the wall that night. He recently got in contact with me via my mother. She saw him at a gig one night and mentioned it to me that he asked about me and such. He ended up thanking me because he said I was the reason he ended up never touching drugs again and has been clean ever since we broke up. So while the experience may not have been a positive for me when I was going through it, it had a positive outcome. Anyway, I know I tend to have this like "bitch" reputation around here but I'm really not lol. If you need someone please, don't hesitate to reach out to me. I'm always willing to listen.
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Last edited by psychoangel691; 09-27-2019 at 09:40 AM.. |
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09-27-2019, 11:46 AM | #130 |
FFR Player
Join Date: Mar 2017
Age: 29
Posts: 444
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Re: life story thread
Everytime I tell my life story, it's different from the time before
I have s hard time pointing to details that truly shaped me.
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TWG Stats: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets...it?usp=sharing FFR is a pretty good place somehow. |
05-11-2020, 03:37 PM | #131 |
Retired Staff
All the things
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Re: life story thread
I last posted in September and I already could write a whole extra chapter of shit that went down between now and then. I need a vacation from my life man
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05-11-2020, 05:41 PM | #132 |
good hot
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: North Carolina
Age: 29
Posts: 5,309
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Re: life story thread
i have no energy to post my entire life story of why i'm molded into the empty husk that is me
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05-12-2020, 12:07 AM | #133 |
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 3,205
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Re: life story thread
It feels like the FFR community is much more open about very personal life details than any other online community I've looked at it or been in. I haven't read the whole thread yet but it's all been very interesting so far. And it also makes me want to share my own life story.
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05-12-2020, 04:19 AM | #134 | |||
T-Force's Rival
Join Date: Dec 2010
Age: 27
Posts: 1,865
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Re: life story thread
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
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05-12-2020, 04:58 AM | #135 |
the Haku
Join Date: Jul 2005
Age: 35
Posts: 4,527
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Re: life story thread
My life is pretty simple.
I play video games and watch anime. (haha escapism) I don't drink, do drugs or smoke. (yey) I got fat. (oh no) I loss the fat by playing FFR on keyboard. (lol) I never had a relationship. (haha) I have very few friends, but they're pretty cool. (wooo) I beat school. (gg) I went to college in computer science. (whoa) I quit in the last semester because I don't like computer science. (haha) I recycled what I learned with what I wanted to do and found a job. (weee) I got a car. (yus) I got epilepsy. (oh noes) I couldn't drive a car anymore. (oh noes) I took meds for 3 years to get back to normal. (huh) I'm back to normal without meds. (yus) I can drive a car now. (yus) I don't really get nervous anymore because of the meds. (cool feature yus) I used my school experience to help me move up in the work ladder. (yey) My personal life is a joke and I feel like I shouldn't bother with feelings. (haha) I'll probably just keep working and try to maintain a balanced life. (yey) Not quite sure what the future will hold. (mystery)
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05-12-2020, 05:39 AM | #136 |
FFR Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 2,228
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Re: life story thread
I love your self commentary^
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05-12-2020, 11:11 AM | #137 |
da kyo~
Number Judger
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Re: life story thread
Life story as of right now. When I'm in a much better frame of mind I'll do another one of these, but here's what's happening right now. I'm super young still so I may be able to come back to this in a few years and reflect, which I super look forward to being able to do.
TL;DR, the quotes that aren't spoilered in my signature are how life's going right now, but it won't be like that forever. So I have whenever it gets better to look forward to. Apologies if I didn't quite grasp the purpose of this thread, too. I saw a bunch of vents and figured I could try too. |
05-12-2020, 06:36 PM | #138 | |
T-Force's Rival
Join Date: Dec 2010
Age: 27
Posts: 1,865
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Re: life story thread
i read it as haiku ad libbing
how old are you Subaru?
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Quote:
Last edited by Funnygurl555; 05-12-2020 at 06:39 PM.. |
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05-13-2020, 01:39 PM | #139 | |
~ お ま ん こ ~
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Re: life story thread
Quote:
beyond the other stuff I posted earlier, my depression absolutely accelerated when I started graduate school, as well as my guilt complex. eventually I started having seizures-- not totally sure why, probably a combination of dad reentering my life, impostor syndrome, qualifying exams, and falling behind with research the seizures and stress ultimately forced me to leave grad school after 4 years. I never got a degree from it, and I never proposed or started my PhD thesis I moved home to my family for around a year to correct my health issues and enter the local job market. at least if the epilepsy continued I would only be an hour drive from my sister and my mother. things have gotten better generally since I got a real job. the quarantine has been fucking me up quite a bit though, the lack of social interaction and being able to go outside and stuff. recently I've been doing 36-hour weekend sleeping sessions, which is obviously bad for a number of reasons. not sure how to fix that |
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05-13-2020, 03:36 PM | #140 |
T-Force's Rival
Join Date: Dec 2010
Age: 27
Posts: 1,865
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Re: life story thread
is a degree something you want? i got the impression that you were disillusioned with grad school before
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