Feik - a short story part of a larger story

[Arch0wl]

http://www.mediafire.com/view/?qx3hx99vckw6mii

I have bigger plans for this -- an examination of sexuality and gender relations. I like the idea of using Tucker Max-style stuff to do it, but unlike Max, not all of it is true. About 2/3 is inspired by real life, but not taken directly from it. Tell me what you think.

[Wayward Vagabond]

remind me to rss your blog

[Crazyjayde]

There's so much I wanted to quote but I'm just going to stop by briefly and say this is brilliant. I really enjoy how you keep the text dynamic, it reminisces me of how write.

[Netjet!]

Holy fucking shit, that ending sealed the deal for me. You win every single literary award, ever. The whole thing was well written and hilariously awesome.

PLEASE MAKE MORE

[Arch0wl]

I will.

I have a larger purpose behind just making hilarious shit though. I mean, that's part of it. But the idea is to make a work that feminists would want to analyze in a style they despise. Some of the issues raised in Ch.1 (I may not have been explicit enough about it) were:

- consent and alcohol: how did alcohol come into play? Who had more agency -- Maria or the protagonist?

- on that note, who was in control of sex? The man or the woman? You think "the man," but Maria actually did most of the sexual advancing.

- consent and male/female relations: the protagonist actually doesn't consent to anything at all. to some feminists, this is sexual assault and/or rape. yet many readers will process this as if the girl is being taken advantage of, especially because it's framed by the protagonist's conquest attitude.

- was Maria the one humiliated, or was the protagonist? when I showed this to someone else, they argued that Maria was the one humiliated. but this guy just cleared a room with his jizz -- how could Maria be the one at fault there?

anyway, these are questions I want to address more deeply in subsequent chapters. bad things will happen to the protagonist, and you'll learn his name eventually.

other goals that are less the main goal and more of sidequests:

- I want paint a picture of my hometown as I see it. virtually every novelist I've read who has written about San Antonio does it with this kind of starry-eyed magical realism that I can't stand.

- I like the idea of micro-commentary -- observations that would be too short for an essay, too short for a blog entry and too deliberate for a twitter post. the ability to rant about the ugliness of dorm interiors without making an actual rant about it is something I've been itching to do for a while.

- I am trying to maximize orality, or the text's ability to be delivered orally. I can't stand works that are difficult to read out loud. the whole piece is designed such that you could deliver it in front of an audience.

[smartdude1212]

Suffice to say I'm glad I just read that.

Fuck engineering majors.

[Arch0wl]

I had an argument with my ex about that line, who is now getting her Ph.D. in American literature. According to her, I broke from an implied narrator.

Thanks for justifying my decision. Now I'm never taking it out. Hahaha!

[smartdude1212]

It's especially amusing to me because I'm majoring in math and it's common to perceive engineers as glorified mathematicians.

Goddammit that final scene is too funny.

[Arch0wl]

Update: I just learned that posting too many chapters online can screw with getting your book taken on by a publisher.

If anyone wants to be added to a private "mailing list", let me know.

[NeoMasterPie]

I want on this mailing list.

"She probably could have given me a violation, but I’m sure she didn’t even want to think about it."

Pretty sure she DID give him a violation, huehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehueheuhue

also:

"I was going getting my required culture credit out of the way" ?????

[Arch0wl]

thanks for catching that

[Reincarnate]

That was hilarious

That Maglev line sent me into gigglefits XD

[gnr61]

several (quite) minor complaints regarding the writing itself i'll post tomorrow since it's 4:30 a.m. lol, but very much enjoyed this and look forward to possibly seeing more in the future. it's extremely funny and packed with little insights/observations, awesom stuff

[Arch0wl]

I appreciate that. It's hard to get feedback that isn't either complete condemnation or complete praise. I'm glad you liked it, though.

Chapter 2 is in the works. I'll be assembling the private mailing list after it's done. If you want to be on it, just PM me your email or post it here. (PMing me is probably better, since you can avoid spam.)

[Arch0wl]

I have a question for all of you.

Would any of you be willing to give me boringness feedback?

Which is to say -- I'd send you the .doc file, and all you'd do is highlight parts where you were bored, or parts where you didn't care.

No literary expertise is required.

For example, I think my opener -- "Coates University was ..." is pretty boring. Working on changing that.

[Arch0wl]

okay, so this is definitely on the backburner for a while to focus on a number of things

but I'm taking my time with this. initially I wanted this to be fun, and it will be, but it's going to get a lot more depressing as the story progresses. hopefully I can finish this before 2014; in the mean time, I'm writing a book on music game design

[NeoMasterPie]

RIP Feik