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Old 03-9-2020, 03:33 AM   #2
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Default Re: Jan/Feb 2020 Set 2

Faery Tale Adventure OST Intro / devonin
rating: *7/10
- 3.83s: check PR
- 7:08s,11.08s,19.08s,etc.: When combining a pitch relevant melody line with chords, I'd say it's more effective if you avoid repeating arrows when possible unless the melody actually has repeating notes. To have repeating arrows in a section of non-repeating notes feels a bit jarring. The subjectivity increases when there are more simultaneous elements in the music to be considered, but with fewer elements, repeating arrows with non-repeating notes doesn't feel quite right. It seems like you're placing the jumps according to the actual PR of the chord itself, but following the main melody is ultimately more important. e.g. 7.08s can be a [14] jump instead of [12] to avoid a repeated arrow. e.g. 20.08s can be a [23] which would result in a repeated down arrow that may go to the bass melody, while it paves the way for a more clearly understood treble melody that avoids a repeated right arrow.
*- 18.58s,19.58s,21.58-21.83s,etc.: Why not create a simple layering for the treble and bass melodies instead of still only focusing on the bass chords? The omission of this sort of layering would be more understandable if you're moderating the difficulty, but the last part of the file clearly shows that a player should be able to handle this kind of layering.
*- 29.33s: missing note
*- 37.08s,41.08s: not a chord
- 49.83s: check PR
- Summary: Shorter and/or more simplistic songs need to be really cleaned up for acceptance, and this is no exception. Consider the PR, but more importantly make the layering stand out more.

Gay / ositzxz369
rating: 5/10
- syncing is fixed as per previous notes.
- 21.18-28.84s,etc.: Repetitive patterns such as ones going along the [12][34] or [14][23] theme are fine to hit, but become dull very quickly.
*- 55.41s: [23] jacks mixed with nearly 200 BPM jumpstream makes for an awkward transition. Other jack patterns are more plausible but still cause really uncomfortable spikes.
- 73.73-75.38s: missing a lot of 16ths
- Summary: Highly uninspired patterns and a short song that doesn't have a lot to offer in the first place. Plus a few very awkward transitions and patterns as well. Even if the patterns were fixed up, I'd have a hard time imagining a place for this file on FFR.

I'll Fight Back / psychoangel691
rating: *7/10
- 2.35s,5.44s,etc.: For this 32324 1 pattern, I'd recommend the last left arrow be an up arrow instead for better PR. Of course, when the layering kicks in, this eventually becomes a jump and it doesn't really matter.
*- 30.60s,30.99s,67.38s: jump
- 34.47s: check sync to lyrics
- 61.96-64.67s,167.25-169.96s: this pattern is fine but if you want a more comfortable pattern, find one that doesn't anchor on the down arrow so much.
*- 65.83-66.12s,171.12-171.41s: [14] jacks sandwiched between a prior jumpstream and a subsequent 32nd roll is mad uncomfortable. This is the sort of pattern I'd reserve for a harder file. For this, I'd recommend changing the jumpjack chord, which inevitably will mean that you'd need to change the previous jumptrill and possibly the 32nd roll prior to that as well. There is certainly difficulty built in other areas of this file, but I still don't feel that [14] jacks would fit the difficulty.
- 68.15-68.80s,etc.: I'm not a big fan of sliding sounds being interpreted as multiple arrows, but this is fine as it adds some nice variety.
- 90.99-91.38s: 16ths from drums, likely ending in a jump
*- 133.18s: hand
- 173.44-184.28s: It's like the previous section at 68.15s but this time I feel it's going a bit too far. Hard for me to really determine how appropriate this should be. If you end up cutting the song, this part may be gone altogether, but if you retain this section, I suppose this is acceptable.
- 186.60-188.06s,192.80-194.15s: You know people won't like these longjacks haha...but it's all right.
- 194.74-194.94s: I don't really understand the color theory here.
- This song drags on and on...
- Summary: Please change the [14] jacks. I also recommend cutting the song in half - I would personally throw out the second half of the song entirely. Even with the 24th patterns inducing more variety into the second half (of which I don't quite agree with), other parts of the song still feel like they overstay their welcome. The charting quality of this file however is generally competent.

Into the Arena / storn42
rating: 7.5/10
- 22.20s,22.72s,23.23s,etc.: Jump to cymbal crash. I suppose a single arrow can be distinguishing enough from the other jumps, but the roles in emphasis certainly feels reversed. I'd recommend changing around which sounds deserve the jumps here. Similar drum kicks in places like 27.86s are single arrows so why the jumps here?
- 50.49-50.83s,53.23-53.58s,etc.: Try adding jumps or hands to some of these single arrows, or at least the last arrow for each set. Just like the previous comment, it feels like the emphasis for jumps have been misplaced to the given sounds.
- 52.89s,63.86s,66.60s,67.12s,etc.: Some of the already existing hands go to sounds that are hardly emphasized at all as well (and not cymbal crashes either). Not sure if they deserve hands.
- The above criticisms appear as the patterns all repeat in a similar fashion later on in the song.
- Summary: This file seems to focus nearly entirely on the percussions with almost no acknowledgement of other elements. This is fine but in doing so, it's important to choose which sounds are relevant to single arrows, jumps, and hands. There are so many instances in which I feel your choice of sound-to-arrow emphasis is entirely reversed - throughout the entire song. The file plays quite well and so I'm not requiring you to make changes, but I strongly recommend doing so.

La Campanella ~Nu Rave~ / Ghost_Medley
rating: *8.5/10
*- 10.25s,11.26s,11.60s,etc.: Acknowledging only the very quiet hi-hats (resulting in gallops instead of triple 16ths) is really jarring, especially since the piano - the main melody that is the essence of La Campanella - is far more prominent. I actually only heard the hi-hats when listening to this song on my earphones. I understand that triplet 16ths do come into play from the oncoming synths at around 23.39s and you probably created gallops to make such a distinction, but the piano is too important to ignore.
- 33.17s,33.34s,118.45s,118.62s: Jumps to these 8ths? Single arrows may be more appropriate.
- 40.08-40.75s: For a change of pace, how about acknowledging the drumroll here?
*- 42.69s,43.70s,166.24s,168.26s: Ghost 16ths?
- 51.88-55.92s: I feel the hands and quads are a bit too heavy for this section, but I'm guessing you did this because prior areas like 50.45s,50.70s were also hands. I personally would tone down the degree of emphasis as a whole and put hands where the cymbal crashes are instead of quads, but it's fine if you decide not to. (This also occurs later on in the song starting around 119.21s)
*- 57.27-64.35s: Similar situation to 10.25s but slightly less jarring and the main melody is a synth instead of a piano. Also a lot of 8ths missing, and the ones that are added feel arbitrary as a result of the omission of others.
*- 65.95s,67.30s,68.98s,69.32s,71.34s,71.68s: Since you're partially acknowledging the quiet 16th hi-hats, these 16ths are missing.
- 81.54-84.92s: Syncing is fine, but if you can adjust the BPMs so that these are 8ths, that would be even better.
*- 95.87s: Missing 8th.
*- 115.68-116.26s: There is something about this pattern that really just doesn't sit well, and I think it has to do with the unintentional right arrow anchors. I'd strongly recommend changing the pattern a bit, probably somewhere in the middle I would say.
- 144.92-146.92s,167.67-169.02s: A bit heavy-handed with the 12ths being entirely jumps, but that's just my opinion.
- 184.10s-184.78s: The file ends in quads just like the classical La Campanella file already on FFR, but IMO I think it would be better to acknowledge the PR here (maybe something like [123] then [234]?).
- Summary: There are a number of things I'd like to see changed in this file, but this is probably my favorite file in the set of submissions I'm reviewing. Really fun.

Let's Live in the Lovely Cemetery [Alternative Ver.] / Buta-san
rating: 9.5/10
- 2.95s: Single arrow.
- 12.54s: Could be a quick gallop.
- 23.65s: Percussion PR.
- 63.37s: Single 8th or jump to cymbal crash would be nice.
- 88.86s: Missing 16th to guitar.
- 108.37-108.51s: These could be just jumps instead of hands.
- Summary: Fun file with very few flaws, but the flow of the guitar solo is what really stood out to me. Great work.

Me, You, And Everything Became Untrue / Deamerai
rating: 9/10
- Seems like most of the sounds in this song are fairly soft, so at first I wasn't sure if the hands present throughout the song were necessary, but for variety's sake they seem appropriate.
- 90.63s: Are the sounds present really emphasized enough to justify a quad?
- Summary: Clean file with patterns that frequently go off of trills and variations of them. I don't have much to say about the song itself, but the chart plays really well.

Opia / Psychotik
rating: *8/10
- 17.34-18.05s,19.64s,27.75-29.34s,30.58-30.75s,etc.: PR can be improved.
*- 43.90s,46.72s,47.17s,47.34s: Missing 16ths to percussion.
*- 52.86s: This is actually a small section of polyrhythm involving two 24ths and a 16th. No 32nds here.
*- 55.02s,56.43s,57.84s,etc.: Missing 16ths (except for main melody areas which appear to be deliberately omitted). Closer to the end of the song, the 16th patterns become more filled and complex, but there are still some occasional missing 16ths, so check all of these areas.
*- 59.08s,70.37s,166.37s: Except no 16ths here!
- 64.65s: Maybe a jump?
- 74.71s: Not sure if any arrow is needed here.
*- 135.58s.: Just a single arrow is fine.
- Summary: This is a high-energy song that is really refreshing to play. Main issues seem to be missing 16ths to some synths.

Pine Ridge, SD / mi40
rating: 6/10
*- PR can be improved throughout the entire file in general.
- While the arrows play on sync, the notation of the arrows is mostly just 4ths, mixed in with a few inconsistencies of other colored arrows. Considering the file appears to be synced via DDReam, I recommend you adjust the BPMs and standardize the arrow notation. And since this is an easy file, you might want to halve the notation so that the arrows are mainly 8th notes - this would help some people read the rhythm of the file more easily than if the arrows were all 4ths.
*- 17.80s,24.61s,32.13s,39.67s: poor PR, stands out especially as repeated arrows representing non-repeated notes.
- 57.64s: In this case, I'm not sure if extending the gameplay through the very end of the mp3 contributes much. There's not much to hear beyond the [12] jump.
- Summary: For a structurally very simple and short file, make sure everything is clean as possible (lack of errors, PR, etc.). Standardizing the rhythmical notation of the arrows is also a plus.

Rave 4 / Matthia
rating: *7.5/10
- 14.43s: Emphasized enough to warrant a hand?
*- 24.45s: Ghost 16th.
- 49.75-49.97s,etc.: I don't think it's worth stepping very quiet 16th percussions here. If you do decide to leave this in however, then you'll have to address at least the inconsistency of a missing 16th preceding these patterns (e.g. 49.68s), and possibly other 16ths as well going to those same quiet percussions (e.g. 50.42s,51.31s). If it becomes too busy by addressing these inconsistencies, then I recommend sticking with my original recommendation.
- 64.59-64.81s,88.33-88.56s,etc.: [14] jacks are pretty awkward, though they wouldn't feel out of place for a file of this difficulty. However, the same pattern persists throughout the song, so I strongly recommend changing up this pattern at least a few times.
- 78.32s,78.46s: Not sure why these 16ths are jumps.
- 107.89s,113.83s,141.13s: Sound's pitch doesn't really suggest a jack here. Similar case with 115.16s, except this minijack doesn't relate so much to pitch, but just feels unnecessary.
*- 123.55-123.74s: Please no. Just because Counter Clockwise Chant Pattern does this fast white staircase pattern doesn't mean you should - please adjust this pattern.
*- 154.11-155.30s: Jumpjacks embedded within this section are reasonable but the overall execution is poor because of very awkward transitions mainly pertaining to the left hand. Rearrange the patterns a bit here.
- Summary: A very freestyle kind of chart (mainly because the song is mostly pitch-irrelevant percussions) with nice color theory as well. Some areas can be cleaned up, such as 16th percussion inconsistencies and patterning near the end of the file. Good potential for an overall higher-difficulty chart.

Running in the 90's / Psychotik
rating: 4/10
- 1.55-2.22s: PR can be a lot better. PR doesn't have to be perfect throughout any given song, but it's more noticeable when there is less layering going on such as here.
- 6.38-6.71s: The effects of PR is dulled when layering creates too many repeated notes. Try changing the jump placements.
- 9.38-9.88s: PR is clearly reversed.
- 11.21-11.60s,etc.: Not straight 16ths, but partially 24ths. Looking at subsequent patterns, this seems to be a sensible generalization if you intend to do trills as the remainder is entirely 24ths. If the sounds were more frequently mixed with 16ths, I would consider following the sounds more closely, but the high ratio of 24ths means that a generalization is quite acceptable to moderate the difficulty.
*- 15.54s: Missing 8th jump.
- 15.63s: Something seems weird about the color theory here. Either something's offbeat or a colored arrow is missing.
- 16.37-16.71s: PR suggests that these two jumps shouldn't be the same.
*- 17.37-17.87s: Inconsistency in not stepping the bleep-bloop sounds here.
*- 19.04s,19.37s: Missing jumps. It seems that you just noticed that some 4ths have an additional sound for emphasis, but previous sections suggest that jumps were still added for non-emphasized 4ths.
*- 21.93s,23.26s,etc. A number of 12th swings are clearly missing. This is what I call incomplete layering. If the concern is that adding more 12ths would homogenize the patterns, then you either need to layer more fully to distinguish the main swing melody from percussive swings, or de-layer and just focus on one of those two elements. To have both elements only partially acknowledged feels arbitrarily choosy.
- 32.64s,34.14s,37.97s,39.47s,etc.: Some parts of the melody have repeated notes, but a few sections create unintentional repeated arrows (see my earlier point at 6.38s).
*- 44.97s,50.30s: Missing (colored) jump.
*- 47.63s: Missing 4th to hi-hat.
*- 53.29s,58.62s,62.62s,etc.: Not a jump, according to your change of layering, which appears to be jumps after every second 4th. This inconsistency seems to be randomly scattered throughout this section.
- 57.62s,58.29s,etc.: More unintentional repeated arrows, also found randomly scattered throughout this section.
*- 74.61s,79.94s,85.27s,90.60s: Same comment as 53.29s and so on. I tried to detect any emphasis such as cymbal crashes here, but I couldn't find any justification for these jumps based off of your current layering.
*- 83.94s: However, there is emphasis here for a jump.
*- 85.19s: Ghost 16th.
*- 97.86-97.97s,99.28-99.39s,etc.: Missing jump and also repeated arrows to non-repeating notes. This whole section is also littered with 12th jacks that don't really serve a purpose.
- 102.47s: Again, strange to see the same jumps here (see 16.37s above). Interestingly, you do acknowledge a change at 108.15s.
*- 109.82s,112.66s,116.92s: Missing 12ths to melody.
- 123.49-124.33s: Again, more unnecessary repeated 8ths that don't acknowledge the PR of the melody all that well.
- 126.66-127.16s: And then when the melody actually plays repeated 8ths, it's not stepped as such!
*- 126.66-133.49s: Incomplete layering; seems to be picking and choosing which parts of the main melody are layered and which aren't.
- 142.81s,144.15s,etc.: See 123.49s and all previously related comments.
- 147.98-151.64s: The PR is nonexistent here.
- 153.31s,etc.: See 74.61s and all previously related comments.
- Summary: While the file plays fine, there are so many issues that it unfortunately feels like a death by a thousand cuts. This is also a lengthy song as well, so the amount of fixing will be considerable. The file does have potential, however. I'm aware this was a previously rejected file - it appears that TC_Halogen also noted many inconsistencies as well for what he calls "chaining." Despite his original notes stating that this was a more "old school" file, the purposes of the fixes I'm suggesting is not to convert it back to some sort of new-school file, but rather simply have the music better conveyed as a whole.

Skyfire Ace / VisD
rating: *7.5/10
*- 30.51-50.42s: Some incomplete layering in the omission of 4ths. Some examples: layering in a jump at 30.83s going to drum + sound effect; entirely missing arrow at 32.09s going to drum (this is probably the most noticeable); layering in a jump at 49.46s to main melody.
*- 50.72s,58.93s: Jump.
- 55.78-57.67s: Since the previous section plays at a lower pitch (123123 patterns), why not move the patterns up to something like 234234?
- 69.04s: Is this supposed to be a single arrow?
*- 70.78s: Ghost arrow.
- 70.93-78.20s: A suggestion I've made towards other files: if possible, avoiding repeated arrows in reasonably simple layering can visually make the melody more easy to follow. The repeated arrows here aren't a chronic problem, but maybe give this a try.
- 101.25-121.07s: I personally think it's more interesting to step the other percussions instead of the continuous 16th hi-hats, but at least the flow of this stream is good.
*- 105.20s,106.07s,etc.: But double check the stream as the 16th hi-hats aren't 100% continuous.
- 121.04s: Perhaps an arrow to the sound effect?
*- 128.57s: 8th jump according to your layering.
Summary: Good, relatively straightforward file. A couple of obvious inconsistencies to clean up, but nothing really major.

Terror From Beyond v2 / Xtreme2252
rating: *8/10
- Very clearly different enough from v1!
- 22.55s,22.87s,etc.: 8th jumps to the drums.
- 33.41s: Because the song is pretty repetitive and somewhat long, consider a gradual layering scheme for increased variety. For example, the section starting here may make more sense as just 4th jumps and 8ths. Later on, you can add the 16ths for an additional challenge.
- 43.79s,44.44s,etc.: Nothing wrong with these jumps. Just wondering what's the purpose of them, while other 4ths remain as single arrows. Seems a bit arbitrary.
*- 46.99s: Should be a 16th instead of a 32nd.
*- 52.38s: Random 8th jump? Probably just a single arrow.
*- 53.44-54.00s: Forgot to layer in the drums here.
- 85.14s: 8th jump to the drums.
- 87.90-89.84s: Some of the 16th drumrolls throughout the song has resulted in anchor patterns, but this one feels considerably more awkward to pull off. Rearrange at least a few of the right arrows.
- 90.49-100.71s: The PR of the synths is pretty straightforward here (mainly relates to a combination of alternating notes and repetitive notes), so try to improve the PR. It's not too bad right now however.
*- 109.63s,110.27s: Missing jumps to percussions.
- 111.25-122.60s: A lot of 8th arrow anchors here, which play fine as is, but aren't the most fluid patterns.
- 141.65-142.22s: Forgot to layer in the bass drums, but this may have been a deliberate decision to focus on the cymbals?
- First off, this is most obviously a huge improvement over the original chart, but that's pretty much a given. Even so, this file still has what I would consider more "old-school" patterns that I haven't seen in a while. A lot of those patterns do involve not-so-flowy anchors but they aren't that bad with the exception of one drumroll section. Nice stuff.

Two can't do it Alone / M0nkeyz
rating: 8.5/10
- 23.46s,26.08s,28.71s,etc.: The main piano melody is pretty simple, so it's reasonable to ask of you to complete the layering in such places like these.
- 50.77s,51.32s,60.95s,: A few missing arrows to percussion.
- 63.14-82.41s: This section has fantastic color theory, though I do notice that the patterns become rather redundant. Don't be afraid to mix it up a bit (such as maybe halfway through).
- 83.85-84.36s,etc.: In these sections, the first two 8ths should repeat. Also missing 8th to melody at places like 84.36s.
- 105.57s: The following section here has great minitrill patterns pertaining to the percussions, but it does drag a bit. Again, feel free to mix it up.
- Summary: Solid DnB file!

Vs. Lancer / pointyEyewear
rating: 6/10
*- Incomplete layering throughout the whole song, which at times is acceptable, but in this case, the basic layering is comprised of a continuous 8th stream (following the background melody, not the main one) with jumps on every other 4th. The result is that the main melody is dissolved into a continuous stream that wanders with not much purpose. For a straightforward, easier file, I would remove excess 8ths that may have otherwise followed the background melody and just focus on the main melody (and perhaps one other element such as the percussion kicks that you're already acknowledging). For a more difficult file, you can keep the running 8th background melody and still layer in the main melody (and possibly more elements if you prefer). In the end, it's up to you, but as it stands, the file doesn't feel very concise to the music.
*- 3.86-5.03s,etc.: Poor PR. There are indeed a few repeated notes in the melody, but they aren't following the ones you've charted.
- 8.70s,etc.: A nice, much-needed break from the continuous 8ths.
- 21.40s,21.57s,etc.: Probably better to omit the 32nd gallops here; the sounds don't really seem to justify them.
*- 26.36s,37.03s,etc.: Missing 8th (part of the 24th trill).
*- 29.86-31.70s,etc.: Missing jumps to both the melody (e.g. 29.86s) and the kicks that you formerly were regularly stepping to (e.g. 30.20s).
- Summary: The chart suffers from nebulous acknowledgement of the song as a whole as a result of incomplete and inconsistent stepping. For a song this short and repeats twice, I do have the expectation that the chart should be mostly clear of errors and inconsistencies before being accepted. A cute little song that can be a good addition to FFR once cleaned up.
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