I'm gonna get so much grief for writing this.....

[Schrammbledeggs]

The issue I'd like to discuss today is guys and their views on sex and women's views on guys' views on sex and I'm gonna tie all this in with the process of adultery and cheating. Now first of all, let me preface this by saying that I personally don't believe that cheating is necessary at all ever. It's just as possible to break up with the person as it is to cheat on them. That having been said, all the time on TV and movies and real life you'll see a woman telling another woman that "Guys are only interested in one thing." Now it's easily ascertained that she means "Guys are only interested in one thing when it comes to women." Obviously, she means sex. Now while this isn't true for every guy (myself included although sex is a huge part) it is true for a lot of them. But my problem with this is is that most people dismiss this as an immoral viewpoint. A lot of people don't realize that it is a well known established fact that the male species as a whole has an innate desire to reproduce and spread their seed. It is the same in women but not to as high of a degree as in men. It's perfectly understandable and deserved for a woman to want a man who will treat her right and love her and take care of her and all that good stuff. What isn't (and shouldn't be) perfectly understandable is when women who want all that good stuff don't put out and then get angry when their man leaves them so he can have sex with someone who will put out. Ladies and gentlemen, you can't just deny an innate desire. That'd be like trying to make a T-Rex eat broccoli. It just doesn't work that way. I understand that a lot of guys have the mindset to just go out and bang as many girls as they can solely because they feel a large number of girls on their "Girls I Banged" list makes them more of a man. Those guys don't apply here. Nor does it apply to girls who put out and their guys STILL cheat (or leave them for someone else). Now, some people may argue that the innate desire could easily be appeased with masturbation. No way. Part (I would argue most) of the appeal of sex is that you're sharing the experience with another person. The male brain knows the difference between a hand and a vagina. Btw...everything here also applies to girls who cheat on their guys although that doesn't occur as often. Another argument that could be thrown into this is that the society of this country has made it so that if a woman agrees to sex easily it makes her a slut but if a man does it it makes him an admirable fellow and that this puts women under a lot of pressure. This is an entirely valid argument and it's a shame that it is that way, but hey, that's America for you. Ladies you gotta realize that we're under pressure too though. Traditionally, the man is supposed to provide and that puts a ton of pressure on us as well. This is changing but the vast majority of the country, not to mention the world, still does things this way. The bottom line is we're worrying about stuff just as much as you are. So ladies, the next time you say with disdain "Guys are only interested in one thing" think about it.

P.S. Don't hate me.

[whorlichan]

I'm pretty sure girls cheat on guys just as often as guys cheat on girls--they just don't get caught as easily. And most girls are just as interested in that "one thing" as guys are, if not more. It's just easier for us to get it.

My personal opinion: cheating is awful. I've never done it and never will, nor have I ever aided anyone in cheating on their SO. I don't see a point to it--you're right, if you're going to get nookie or whatever from someone other than your SO, why not break up with them first, so that you don't hurt them as much? I think the pain of losing someone is easier to bear than the pain of dealing with betrayal.

[dontcareaboutmyid]

1. I hate you

2. Not really

3.A couple things. A woman putting out to anyone and everyone seven days of the week makes her a slut in all terms of a slut(or a Nymph). A woman putting out to one someone she feels connected to is actually a highly saught out quality, at least for me. You can't have a long and meaningful relationship with a member of the opposite sex without sex. As you've stated, a woman wants sex and us guys deffinatly want sex. That's how relationships go. Sure it helps to have things in comon, good communication ect ect. but I guarantee that a relationship will crumble a little as soon as the sex starts to become routine, and wil stop existing as the sex stops existing.

Unless you belong to some religion that HIGHLY frowns upon sex and you were brought up through life in that thinking.

[Schrammbledeggs]

I'm pretty sure girls cheat on guys just as often as guys cheat on girls--they just don't get caught as easily. And most girls are just as interested in that "one thing" as guys are, if not more. It's just easier for us to get it.

My personal opinion: cheating is awful. I've never done it and never will, nor have I ever aided anyone in cheating on their SO. I don't see a point to it--you're right, if you're going to get nookie or whatever from someone other than your SO, why not break up with them first, so that you don't hurt them as much? I think the pain of losing someone is easier to bear than the pain of dealing with betrayal.

I also think a guy would be more forgiving towards a cheating girlfriend than the other way around. I definitely maintain my belief that girls are more prudent when it comes to gettin' there sex on.

[whorlichan]

3.A couple things. A woman putting out to anyone and everyone seven days of the week makes her a slut in all terms of a slut(or a Nymph).

That's actually "Nympho," short for "Nymphomaniac," which is excessive sexual desire in, and behavior by, a female. Meaning it's not NORMAL for a woman to want sex every minute. However, a high libido is not a bad thing, assuming her man can keep up.

You can't have a long and meaningful relationship with a member of the opposite sex without sex.
-snip-
Unless you belong to some religion that HIGHLY frowns upon sex and you were brought up through life in that thinking.

Not really true. I know a couple of people (not many, but they exist) who have meaningful romantic relationships that do not involve sex. It's not easy--I've tried it, and failed miserably because I was too horny--but it can be done, and I actually really respect and admire the people who have the willpower and determination to decide this and keep it up.

I also know people who have meaningful sexual relationships that do not involve romance (and have been involved in a couple) and that's okay too. It's a lot easier, obviously, because it's not really a "relationship" per se.

As for the religion bit...if you're only abstinent because your religion tells you it's wrong, I feel a bit sorry because it's a decision you should be able to make without fearing a fiery hell. But again--if someone can make that decision (religious or not) I admire them and will respect it.

I also think a guy would be more forgiving towards a cheating girlfriend than the other way around.

Especially if it was another girl? :) Because I already know what girls think of guys leaving them for other guys.

[Schrammbledeggs]

Case in point: Ross from Friends

[MalReynolds]

Case in point: Ross from Friends

Not only is Ross not real, but the situation was slightly different. Susan was pregnant when she decided to leave Ross for another woman. Sure, Ross was whiny about it, but that was also because Susan got custody over Ben. That would make me whiny too.

Yes, I like "Friends," shut up about it already.

Mal

[Schrammbledeggs]

It's a good show. And his not being real doesn't mean the situation couldn't occur. Case in point: whoever whorli was talkin' about at the end of her post.

[dontcareaboutmyid]

3.A couple things. A woman putting out to anyone and everyone seven days of the week makes her a slut in all terms of a slut(or a Nymph).

That's actually "Nympho," short for "Nymphomaniac," which is excessive sexual desire in, and behavior by, a female. Meaning it's not NORMAL for a woman to want sex every minute. However, a high libido is not a bad thing, assuming her man can keep up.


I know the technical terms. Nymph is a perfectly acceptible slang term for nymphomaniac IMO.

I also know people who have meaningful sexual relationships that do not involve romance (and have been involved in a couple) and that's okay too. It's a lot easier, obviously, because it's not really a "relationship" per se.


You can't have a long and meaningful relationship... 'Nuf said

Not really true. I know a couple of people (not many, but they exist) who have meaningful romantic relationships that do not involve sex. It's not easy--I've tried it, and failed miserably because I was too horny--but it can be done, and I actually really respect and admire the people who have the willpower and determination to decide this and keep it up.

Not having sex doesn't mean they are not having sexual contact through things such as oral stimulation and manual (masturbation) stimulation, or perhaps another fetish or activity (I can provide some examples if need be). Do you know if these thing are or are not happening?

I know before our breakup, my girlfriend and I had never had sex over a year and four months, yet were perfectly satisfied with our "other" activities.

On the subject of lesbians, anything that has the Y Chromosone will find lesbian actions hot and erotic in some form and on at least one layer of conciousness. Not scientific fact, but I'm quite confident in this statement.

[SUSUGAM]

lesbians are fat ugly biiiiiiiitches.

im awesome
the end

[jamuko]

You can't have a long and meaningful relationship with a member of the opposite sex without sex.
-snip-
Unless you belong to some religion that HIGHLY frowns upon sex and you were brought up through life in that thinking.
Um. I beg to differ. If that's true, then I'm screwed (no pun intended X_X).

Heh, I'm probably going to be the one getting grief for this, but... I can't be the only one who just doesn't have any desire in this area to begin with. It's nothing religious or anything like that, and if other people want to do it, I don't really care (as long as they're away from my range of hearing/sight/etc. X_X ). I just personally don't want to be involved. It doesn't appeal to me at all.

=x Geez this is awkward.

Go ahead, point and laugh. We are what we are.

[whorlichan]

I know the technical terms. Nymph is a perfectly acceptible slang term for nymphomaniac IMO.

Except that it means something completely different?
- Greek & Roman Mythology. Any of numerous minor deities represented as beautiful maidens inhabiting and sometimes personifying features of nature such as trees, waters, and mountains.
- A girl, especially a beautiful one. (but doesn't say anything about her sexual habits)
- The larval form of certain insects, such as silverfish and grasshoppers, usually resembling the adult form but smaller and lacking fully developed wings. Also called nympha.

Piers Anthony has all the nymphs in his books acting like nymphomaniacs, but that doesn't mean they all are.

[Moogy]

This topic is pretty hXc.

[Schrammbledeggs]

Your mom is pretty hXc

[Varia]

girly stuff

So how old are you? I really have no idea, but going along with the average forum user's age, I'm going to say like 16? Give it a few years an see if things change. They probably will.

[jamuko]

girly stuff

So how old are you? I really have no idea, but going along with the average forum user's age, I'm going to say like 16? Give it a few years an see if things change. They probably will.
I don't know about that... I'm 19. Seems like things have already had plenty of time. Yeah, I know I'm still young, but puberty is well over. (Not that I want anything to change; I'm perfectly happy this way. I just seem to be in the minority, I've found.)

..."Girly stuff"? XD

[Schrammbledeggs]

Intercourse is overrated. It's lost most of its credibility and is only truly special in the heat of the moment. So many people do it today cause it's something to do...an activity just like playing Nintendo or watching a movie.

Person A: Sex or watch a movie?
Person B: How about sex real fast then we can catch Narnia at 9?
Person A: Sound good let's hurry up.

[whorlichan]

Intercourse is overrated. It's lost most of its credibility and is only truly special in the heat of the moment. So many people do it today cause it's something to do...an activity just like playing Nintendo or watching a movie.

I don't agree with that. If your relationship is meaningful enough, sex should be a fun activity but not something as throwaway as you make it seem. Besides...if the guys on this site put as much effort into sex as they do into getting ridiculously high scores on their video games, their sex lives must be ASTOUNDING.

And what do you mean by "credibility"? I'm not being sarcastic, I would like to know what you mean because I don't think I'm reading you right.

[jewpinthethird]

girly stuff

So how old are you? I really have no idea, but going along with the average forum user's age, I'm going to say like 16? Give it a few years an see if things change. They probably will.

This doesnt really pertain to the topic. More directed towards Jamuko.

When I was 16, there were three things I thought about: Sex, Cars, and Music. And when I was hungry: Food. When I was 13 there were three things I thought about: Sex, Music, and Evangelion. When I was 11 there were three things I thought about: Sex, Skateboarding, and ska. When I was 10 there were three things I thought about: Skateboarding, South Park, and how funny the word dildo was...which relates to sex.

So as you can see. Not thinking about sex just doesnt register with me. I dont see how any normal male could not think of sex. If you dont, then in my opinion, there is something really wrong with you. Don't take this the wrong way, but if you have no desire to have sex and reproduce, then maybe that's evolutions way to saying "hey, no need to pass on your genes."

Or maybe you are just asexual...like a cactus or something.

And I think what Schcrambledeggs is getting at is that sex isnt seen as it was in earlier times. It is a lot more casual of a thing. To sum up what I mean:

It's just sex.

Assuming it is concentual and all.

[Tokzic]

Coincidently, I wrote a rant that's almost bang-on (against, rather) with this a while ago that went with my webcomic before I redid the site etc. etc.

Still have it on my DA though, so I'll C+V.

I've always heard about older guys using chicks for sex, but lately it seems to be hitting more and more girls that I know personally. In fact, it's now to the point where I'm pissed off about it.

Why exactly is it that so many guys live purely for girls? It's not like the whole thing isn't fun, but why are there so few guys that can't put away instincts and emotions and live their lives as a human and not an animal? As if that's not enough, they actually put on a whole act just to become the so-called "dream guy" and fast forward the entire process! Life isn't just about doing girls! If your instincts drive you to do someone five years younger than you because they're naive in that way, you have to learn how to control yourself. Using women isn't cool. It's sick.

You know what? To any guys out there reading this that fit this catergory: You suck! If you're willing to put on an act to seem like an alright guy, why not put that effort to some personality adjustment?

To any girls my age that might be a target: Don't let yourself be fooled! It isn't really normal for twenty year old guys to be after you this early. In fact, 98% of all males lose all logic and become complete morons (if they weren't already) during this period, not sensitive lovers. Trust me. That comes five years later.

Now that that's out of mind and on to paper (er, the Internet kind anyway), I end this rant. Time to read a little GetBackers. Peace. ^^

I wasn't really arguing anything, just being annoyed. I think as advanced as we are now though, we have other things to live for than sex. And as usual these days, I don't feel like spending an hour creating a concise reason why. so im gonna read sum getbackerz peece ^^*

EDIT: Okay, I changed my mind after reading some of the other posts here. Maybe I should expand and defend myself (and jamuko - you're not alone, man) a little, especially since I don't want to come off looking like chardish (even though I think he's cool and not gay for it).

I am sixteen years old. When I was eleven, I was so innocent that if I had done every sixteen-year-old babe that said, "I wish my boyfriend was like you," I'd be the biggest pimp ever. I thought sex unappealing and I'd only actually go through with it for a child. Sure I knew it was enjoyable, but that kind of enjoyment didn't appeal to me.

Then a few years later, things changed. I don't need to explain myself - my innocent train of thought hopped tracks to typical-manhood city. However, there is one thing that did not change - I still didn't like how obsessed with it guys were. Following up with the prior metaphor, when I realized where my train could take me, I bailed it, found my old tracks, and walked. Why? Because 99% of people my age are stupid. If I were to go for sex every chance I got, I'd probably have ninety STDs and five children by now, even though I'm even-headed enough to avoid it, because other people aren't. I have never masturbated (hell, I spell it wrong half the time), nor do I ever intend to. Have I ever had the urge to? Sometimes I'm surprised where my hand wants to go. Is it natural? No, but how much of the world we've made for ourselves is?

This is where a nice conclusion would go, except unfortunately, it is also the same place where I got tired of writing all this crap and feel like playing MS. So picture a nice one in your head. I've said my points.

[Schrammbledeggs]

By credibility I guess I mean "specialness"

[MonkeyFoo]

Mmm, sex. It's just a fad, you'll buy all this sex merchandise, and then when it goes out of fasion in a few months, you'll be sorry.

A lot of people don't realize that it is a well known established fact that the male species as a whole has an innate desire to reproduce and spread their seed.

Hey, I realize that. You're forgetting the men. We realize that often. You should probably be saying something like, "t3h ladies don't realize that it's a darwinian urge." And you should be saying, "t3h ladies should give in to that darwinian urge too."

If I wasn't lazy, I'd write a parody of this.

[Schrammbledeggs]

I'm pretty sure saying t3h ladies would get me nowhere.

[FoJaR]

i think everyone in this thread but jewpin could benefit from watching r-kelly's trapped in the closet 5 or 10 times.

[Rediahs]

I'd spew a big long rant, but I'm too tired and I can't manage to put a few sentences together coherently. So I'll just say that sex is good, EVERYONE yes EVERYONE SHOULD masturbate (it's good for you, relaxing, and can curb your sexual desire. got lots of other benfits too.), and your preferences regarding sex (I don't mean sexual orientation, I mean your preferences) are your own, and if you come down with AIDS from doing too many people, it's your problem and the problem of those people you did.

In an ideal world, everyone would have no more than 3 partners in their lives, preferably only two or one. But the world is a big place, and people get in with the wrong people, or they're just stupid and do whatever they want. But hey, ruin your life - it's only yours.

[whorlichan]

In an ideal world, everyone would have no more than 3 partners in their lives, preferably only two or one.

I'm interested in how you came up with this number. It seems to be a personal preference, as you mentioned earlier. What about people who are polyamorous, and have more partners than that, often at one time in their lives rather than all throughout? In an ideal world, do their preferences not matter? I don't think you can put a cap on how many partners EVERYONE would have in an ideal world. It's a personal choice--your ideal world is not everyone's ideal.

[killacrip]

ive had like 12 and im only 13, thts one for every year of my life, apart from when i was 1. also i think that women are alot more uptight when it comes to cheating, im allways paranoid of my girl but i dnt do anything about it because i trust her and always think of it like this: U were the first one she chose and U will be the last one she thinks of when u or her ends the relationship and U will be the main thing shell worry about. Also if were saying that women are alot more uptight when it comes to that then maybe we should take a look at how we (as men) deal with these situations coz we could be letting some serious stuff pass.

[Rediahs]

some stuffI'm sorry, was that english?

By the way, if you had 12 sexual partners by the time you are 13, I am quite sorry for you.

If you had 12 girlfriends and all you did was kiss lightly on the cheek - that's not a "partner". A "partner" is someone that you do intimate things with, or that you've been with for a long time...

[Lightknight924]

some stuffI'm sorry, was that english?

By the way, if you had 12 sexual partners by the time you are 13, I am quite sorry for you.

If you had 12 girlfriends and all you did was kiss lightly on the cheek - that's not a "partner". A "partner" is someone that you do intimate things with, or that you've been with for a long time...}

Well said.

[FoJaR]

ive had like 12 and im only 13, thts one for every year of my life, apart from when i was 1. also i think that women are alot more uptight when it comes to cheating, im allways paranoid of my girl but i dnt do anything about it because i trust her and always think of it like this: U were the first one she chose and U will be the last one she thinks of when u or her ends the relationship and U will be the main thing shell worry about. Also if were saying that women are alot more uptight when it comes to that then maybe we should take a look at how we (as men) deal with these situations coz we could be letting some serious stuff pass.

ROFL

i know this is CT, but DAYUM... i cant help it!

on a more serious note: i dont think the number of partners is really significant, as long as you practice safe sex.

[roopert]

In an ideal world, everyone would have no more than 3 partners in their lives, preferably only two or one. But the world is a big place, and people get in with the wrong people, or they're just stupid and do whatever they want. But hey, ruin your life - it's only yours.

In an ideal world, there would be no STDs to worry about. Thus, it wouldn't matter how many partners you were with.

You might be referring to the fact that multiple partners can "cheapen" the act of sex and make it less special, but by saying "ruin your life" I assume you are implying contracting a STD such as HIV.

[whorlichan]

You might be referring to the fact that multiple partners can "cheapen" the act of sex and make it less special

I don't think that simply having had multiple partners "cheapens" sex. If they were all one-night stands or random girls/guys picked up at bars specifically for sex, okay. But people can have more than one serious relationship in their lifetime, and most serious relationships involve sex.

Besides, sex with more than one person allows you to a) learn new techniques or try out things that previous lovers didn't want/know/etc. and b) compare them evilly in your head. :) Or, on a serious note, make the sex you have in your current/last/NOW meaningful relationship that much more special, because you do have that other experience to build on.

[Schrammbledeggs]

I find that the other aspects of a sexual relationship besides intercourse are more fun since so many people are jaded by intercourse. Like if you're a kinky person I bet you gain WAY more satisfaction from doin' other stuff besides intercourse.

[FoJaR]

I find that the other aspects of a sexual relationship besides intercourse are more fun since so many people are jaded by intercourse. Like if you're a kinky person I bet you gain WAY more satisfaction from doin' other stuff besides intercourse.

so i'm not trying to be rude or anything, but is this all speculation?

[Schrammbledeggs]

No it isn't. I'm talking from experience. It'd be pretty stupid for me to talk about this stuff when I haven't actually experienced it. The only reason I said "I bet" in my previous entry was because I didn't wanna speculate for others.

[FoJaR]

lol

[roopert]

You might be referring to the fact that multiple partners can "cheapen" the act of sex and make it less special

I don't think that simply having had multiple partners "cheapens" sex. If they were all one-night stands or random girls/guys picked up at bars specifically for sex, okay. But people can have more than one serious relationship in their lifetime, and most serious relationships involve sex.

Besides, sex with more than one person allows you to a) learn new techniques or try out things that previous lovers didn't want/know/etc. and b) compare them evilly in your head. :) Or, on a serious note, make the sex you have in your current/last/NOW meaningful relationship that much more special, because you do have that other experience to build on.

I wasn't saying I believe that it can "cheapen" it, and I don't. I was merely stating that Rediah could have been referring to it, seeing as how that would go along with her "3 partners" is ideal.

[Rediahs]

I was talking about diseases, not cheapening.

3 was just a number I made up. 1 or 2 are definitely too low. 4 is okay. 3 is ideal. I just made it up. You can make up your own number, it's just what I consider to be an okay number....

btw I've nly ever had one partner so... um... I'm not like, uh, being dumb here.

[Lightknight924]

I really can't find anything in this discussion to argue about except for Mal's quote "If you can't do something smart, do something right." I'm not sure how much that will relate to this though.


*As long as someone doesn't break out with the: girls are better than boys and boys are so stupid. That gets me ticked because it's so sexist.

[whorlichan]

I really can't find anything in this discussion to argue about except for Mal's quote "If you can't do something smart, do something right." I'm not sure how much that will relate to this though.

I like that quote. I take it to mean, if you're going to be dumb enough to screw around (with or without protection, but I mean just being a slut) then you should at least get good at it. :)

[Lightknight924]

Sure, you could put it that way. Although I was pointing more towards do the right thing and don't cheat. If you have interest in someone else then break it off with the other one. If you have interest in both then follow the quote the best you can. That's all I can say.

[whorlichan]

Ah. Right, I completely forgot what this topic was originally about.

In that case, Mal's quote is once again very helpful. If you can't be smart--as in realizing that you're already in a relationship and owe something to your partner, even if it's just a "goodbye"--then at least do something right and DON'T CHEAT.

That doesn't make as much sense as it did in my head. What I mean is this: DON'T CHEAT GODDAMMIT. HAVE THE DECENCY TO BREAK UP WITH YOUR PARTNER BEFORE YOU SCREW UP.

[FoJaR]

Sure, you could put it that way. Although I was pointing more towards do the right thing and don't cheat. If you have interest in someone else then break it off with the other one. If you have interest in both then follow the quote the best you can. That's all I can say.

you're right, little buddy.

[Tokzic]

Mal, you're the only guy I know who can contribute to a CT discussion simply by having your signature present in it.

[Lightknight924]

Yeah, his quotes are very usefull in these cases.

[sk8r_daniel]

I didn't read all the topics, but leets face it....human's are too complex to be monogamous. The only reason we think we are is because society tells us to be..and society is created by a collective of thoughts....some more influental than others. The best way to go about it is not to play blame games and be compassionate and respect your partner's feelings and vice versa. At the same time you have to evaluate your own feelings and if they are valid. Remember you are not always right... (sorry this was a very broad statement, but i seriously think it would solve alot of problems if everyone followed it.) We always get the select idiots who purposefully hurt other people or hurt other peole without even knowing it because they don't take the time to think about what they are doing.

[[Prophecy]]

I've had more than one long lasting, meaningful relationships without sex. I'm not sure why people seem to think its so hard. Then again, things are often very hard when you don't even try.

[Schrammbledeggs]

Many people feel obligated to have sex in a relationship. They both think the other wants it so they do it. Plus, sex is one of the most intimate things two people can do together. It IS hard to have a long lasting, meaningful relationship without sex.

[[Prophecy]]

Many people feel obligated to have sex in a relationship. They both think the other wants it so they do it. Plus, sex is one of the most intimate things two people can do together. It IS hard to have a long lasting, meaningful relationship without sex.

I've never had any problems. Like I said, things always are alot harder if you never try. Its a mental roadblock if you believe something is difficult and expect failure.

[Tonberry_Kid]

Well, what makes it even harder, is the fact once you have sex once with a certain person, each and everytime that one person asks if you want to do it, you either feel obligated or just know you can do it with them. Plus sex can be addicting if you have an addiction gene in your family. Not necessarily crack addicting, just you have to do it once every now and then or you get bitchy and cranky.

A relationship without sex that is long and meaningful is easy, as long as you have never had sex before.

[Mindfields]

I also think a guy would be more forgiving towards a cheating girlfriend than the other way around.

Yeah, that's because we know that there are so few others that would like to "romp around" with us.
We're dogs.

[Schrammbledeggs]

I just don't think that wanting someone to "romp around" is a bad thing. We're not dogs because of it.

[ruifio894]

Praise the lord. I can't agree with you more. You stole my words dude. If only every girl knew this.

[Guess_who9291]

Grief is for the weak and only seen in the eyes of the beholder :P