This is a collection of the alphes avatars I've used on FFR, but not all of them. There are some I can't find.

Before you read this, I want to clarify that none of what I write here is to be interpreted as antagonizing others. This is part of the reason why I said I didn't want to put this up because of how people would distort it and be offended.

Back in 2008, I fibbed and said I only played stepmania for a few weeks to escape BS calls on my previous accounts. There was almost no FFR in this time for me, I played Stepmania back in this time period. I continued with Stepmania until around September 2008 when I played a few FFR FGOs and Death Piano. Of course, this was still back when MrRubix was on the scoreboards. Later in December I smashed more FGOs (well, solid scores for my level, I only had Frictional Nevada AAA'd at the time) and got rank 1 on DP and RATO (RATO was released in December 2008).

Now that I look back at 2009 and 2010 as FFR years, I am incredibly livid behind the motives of my scores. 2009 I already had great speed. My 5 cb Nauticus score was from 2009, so it's not like I skyrocketed after that with my current SM scores, it was mainly transitioning issues and stamina. I did AAA more FGOs like Molto Vivace and One Minute Waltz in summer 2009, so I got into FFR hard files more. However, Rubix just dished out AAAs out of fucking NOWHERE, then suddenly lands 20s on DP, like, what the fuck? Granted I did stop mashing the ending of DP and RATO after that since I was also sick of it, but that kind of jump was stupid -- the replay program didn't exist back then, and there wasn't any way to *really* check it. Also keep in mind how much of an absolute dick Rubix was back in 2007. Holy shit, I can see why Shashakiro was so pissed when Rubix went all condescending about Chrono Trigger.

When FFR went down in December 2009 I basically just stood around KBO and played more Stepmania. I was still a heavy stepmania player, so it's not like I played much FFR still. I AA'd Destiny Gamma Heavy in March 2010, etc. I was getting more stamina. When FFR came back, Rubix of course gets more AAAs out of fucking nowhere. Then, all of a sudden, he has teens on Death Piano when I have a 20s score beating his 2009 score. Then when I have teens, he has an AAA. At the time, there was a link to the replay data, but nobody saved it. The replay program didn't exist back then either, so it's not like anyone would have thought of saving it anyways.

So how does this connect to my DP 8-0-0-1 score? He had an AAA. I had an SDG. But guess what? All he had to do was fucking BOT that AAA, he couldn't even SDG it normally, and didn't even prove he could get something like 20s in the first place... so I got 8-0-0-1 for nothing. I work so hard whoring a piece of shit that took stargroup a few hours at most against a guy who could get away with botting for over 2 years from good rapport with staff. Now you can see why I'm livid after having such high playcounts on these files. RATO I have more than 800 plays, he had 14-1-0-0 on it, also botted (even admitting himself when he was exposed).

"You got a score nobody else is going to beat!" Um, Jackhammer Madness AAA is another example? Who the fuck cares that I wasted time getting 8-0-0-1 on DP? I certainly don't! I feel like a fucking MORON for falling into Rubix's trap! I shoved Death Piano in samurai7694's face, Rubix's prominence on the scoreboards made me act like a condescending motherfucker, I shoved these piece of shit files in other players' faces, and now that I look back at it, I feel incredibly stupid and terrible. samurai, if you're reading this, I am so sorry I made you go through that bullshit... Byron told me you really were mad at me at that time, and you had good reason to be mad. You may be over it now, but I would like you to know that I never want to do anything like that to you again, or anyone else.

As for Rubix? What matters to me is that he no longer brings up his egotistic condescending attitude about his scores anymore, because he has been proven that his word isn't entirely reliable. He ruined FFR the game for a lot of people (especially me). Anything antagonistic I had to say towards him happened during the suspicious scores thread back in March 2012 (linking to his posts saying he was the best, how he wouldn't cheat in a game like FFR, etc). And if you ask me, I have had ENOUGH. When I posted my RATO thread, players came in saying how they found it funny I posted it after Staiain's rank 2 thread. Then I had the antagonistic attitude again. It makes me sick whenever I respond like that. Really, I couldn't give less of a shit anymore with being mean to others. If someone wants to shit up my threads from this point on, I'm not going to bother arguing with them if they're just going to throw more hateful garbage to fuel more posts.

I basically just want to start from a clean slate mentality. Writing this helped me get my mind off of how Rubix really impacted my attitude towards FFR ranks, he was on for such a long time and never caught. However, I'm not forgiving anything, just admitting that being a hateful bastard does not make a right. If someone does a wrong and you do a wrong back to them, that doesn't cancel out to a positive like in math. I want to rid myself of any negative feelings I had about anyone on the site, even Rubix.

With that said, I think I can get back into FFR as a game now not worrying much about ranks... I just feel like players have become excessively arrogant. "I got this score cold", "file is easy", etc. especially for files like White Walls Part 2. Lately I've been seeing a bunch of horribly patterned charts that have no reason to be played again (see a connection here? Whoring excessively on files with shit patterns, it reminds me of DP and RATO!). These charts are so memorable I don't ever feel like playing them again. But Plan B raised a good point to me -- people tend to care too much about the charts, and not the music. With this said, my hard songs ranks probably aren't going to be up to expectations, but I just want to be able to play this damn game without having to hear condescending shit. I also made a promise to not join any more tournaments unless they're custom tournaments (not even official tournaments). With this I feel like I can help with the official tournaments, but I still get denied. I also feel like this would allow me to get past the bullshit "it's dossar, he's trying to get an advantage" excuse and allow me to make the files PLAYABLE with frame fixes. Oh hey, I guess I could say you're being an asshole for trying to take advantage of bad conversion for me to get a worse score, right? It *does* affect gameplay, not just your last couple of goods for an AAA. Vortex is an amazing example of such a disaster, even though the file is only 160ish bpm.

I apologize if I acted like an asshole to anyone, but there have been times where I was also very unfairly treated as well as others. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I'm more interested in seeing others improve at this point. I am especially proud of players like RadiantVibe who have improved so much since the start of this year. Keep it up -- I haven't quit FFR, I never did, but I would like to say I have a demolished interest because of what I've mentioned in this post. And if Rubix is out there reading this, I don't want any more to do with you concerning your scores, and I don't want anyone else talking about them either. It's been good since March, and it should be that way. You seem like a smart individual that just happened to make an unfortunate mistake, I don't want it brought up anymore.

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Halfway to 100,000!