omgitznpv writes...
at 9:21:07am on 3/30/08
At m154, keep everything as holds or nothing as holds.
The 16ths in this part make no sense. Fix.
The PR during that part is kind-of off, a few on the 8ths and some on the 16ths. Try for it.
At the end, m167, it's awkward on the 3rd-4th beat. There is no jump to put a sound to on m168.
It seems like it's worse than before because this time I felt like pointing out almost everything :O
omgitznpv writes...
at 9:20:48am on 3/30/08
The PR from m54-57 is horrid. Fix it up. Also, keep it as holds.
m70-71- you have a jump-hold on the 4th beat of m70, but the same sound repeats and you have a single hold after that. Make the 2nd one a jump-hold as well.
m71-72 has terrible PR. Fix.
Start the 16ths on m74, not as a pick-up to it- this is up to you, but personally it's really weird to me. Also, inconsistency during this next part. The first time you had it without jumps, now you have jumps to the same thing. Again, check your PR here. Starting at m90, keep it as all jumps or all single arrows to the piano. It's also a good idea to layer with the accompaniment from the piano.
I don't like the jack at m93.
At m95, there is a 16th right after the start of the beat.
The PR at m102 seems really awkward to me.
Right before m105, there is a 16th.
m106- keep it as jumps. Also, layer the syncopated clap later.
At m153, it's still really misrhythmed. Slow the music down (0.3x is good) and sync it there.
At
omgitznpv writes...
at 9:20:26am on 3/30/08
Make the 8ths of the melody holds or jumps (I don't suggest both though. Also, a jumpstream works but not as well. I personally like the holds more). In addition, the 16th patterns there shouldn't be identical. Mix them up. Vary them up. It gets really repetitive, boring, and annoying. At m41, add the 16ths with the jumps (keep it the same pattern between each up; i.e. (46)828(46)828(46)828). The first beat of m42 works better as a (46) jump followed by an arrow on 4 (PR purposes). Once the new melody kicks in on the 2nd beat of m42, make EVERYTHING holds. Keep it consistent. To keep it a little more interested, there is a syncopated clap sound- beats 2 and 4 of the measures here (the upbeats). When there is no new hold on the beat, keep the clap as a jump. You also have a few PR problems as well.
At m52-ish, along with making everything holds, the lengths are wrong. Nothing ends on a 16th- hold them out for their full value (you have 16th holds that should be 8th holds)
omgitznpv writes...
at 9:19:33am on 3/30/08
Do it both times, or don't have them there at all. In addition, I really suggest layering this area. You just did pretty decent layering before this part, and this part has a distinct melody over the harmony. If you are going to keep some of those longer holds in there, check their length. A few are incorrect.
The PR is a tad off at the 8th jump/hold right before measure 17- you had a highlowhighlow thing going on, and the 8th jump was a higher pitch than the previous one. Make it a jump for the right hand or so, instead (I suggest a (28) or (26) jump).
The transition from m25-26 is terrible. The 16ths at the end of m25 don't really go to anything distinct, and it will be very awkward unless you remove the holds in the previous section of the song and layer it with the 16ths. Starting at m26, you break up the consistent 16th rhythm with the 8th note melody. If you're going to do that, you should bring the melody out more for emphasis and less awkwardness. Make the 8ths of th
omgitznpv writes...
at 9:19:13am on 3/30/08
Okay. I'm stating these as I go along. Also, if one part repeats during the song, it applies to the repeats also. As a note, if you don't know what 4268 arrows are, look at the numpad. 4=left, 2=down, 8=up, 6=right
Right on measure 2, if you're going to keep it as a jump, make it as a hand. It's loud and there's enough notes in the chord to warrant it. However, I suggest stepping the new background noise right after the start of the measure (the 8ths).
At measure 5, the 2 jumps you have to the claps lead right to another same (46) jump to the chord again. The chord is much louder than the jumps, so make that a hand.
Start the chain at the beginning of measure 6, not in the middle of it. That's where the sound begins. Also, during the chain, it's a little left-hand biased. My right hand is not really doing anything, so shove some arrows over.
At measure 10, the holds don't make sense. The sound repeats twice, but you only put the hold there the second time. Do it both ti
Originally posted by DossarLX ODI
What's the point of using drugs anyways? I heard they help you relax but that's pretty much it. (Not talking about medicines)
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