Why Chinese Mothers are Superior

[ddrxero64]

Re: Why Chinese Mothers are Superior

I excelled in viola for almost 10 years and I play video games. I wasn't brought up by an "Amy Chua" Asian mom.

Just thought I'd say that I played lead trumpet and second alto saxophone in my Jazz Band in high school. I also took Music Theory AP in my senior year (and passed it too somehow!). That is probably why I'm attracted to music based/rhythm games.

[ichliebekase]

Re: Why Chinese Mothers are Superior

Just thought I'd say that I played lead trumpet and second alto saxophone in my Jazz Band in high school. I also took Music Theory AP in my senior year (and passed it too somehow!). That is probably why I'm attracted to music based/rhythm games.

Dude so did I :O I was top of my class though and took the AP Music Theory test and got a 4. 5 on the aural part and 3 on the written. I loved my teacher, I was such a nerd for that class :3

[ddrxero64]

Re: Why Chinese Mothers are Superior

That's awesome. I had the special privilege of being taught by two teachers (Chorus and Band teachers). Definitely was an interesting experience for me. high 4/low 5 on aural (I stopped midway in the minor vocal sightreading though I knew the notes. Then I just held my breath til my time was up because I didn't want to sound like an idiot xD, other than, I would have aced that part) and a 3ish on the written. A kid in my class got a 5 though, that was crazy. I loved the class though, great experience.

I'll stop now. I swear Music Theory has nothing to do with "Superior" Chinese Mothers. I could be wrong though lmao

[dag12]

Re: Why Chinese Mothers are Superior

Bump. Well, as much as you can bump in CT.

Anyway.

http://blogs.wsj.com/juggle/2011/01/13/amy-chua-responds-to-readers/

Amy Chua responds to some readers' questions and comments in this article.
This should address some comments made by some of the people here.

On a completely different, but slightly relevant note, a friend of mine who knows Chua said that her daughter was admitted to Yale this year, and is likely to attend next year. Congrats to her daughter and the rest of her family.

[Reincarnate]

Re: Why Chinese Mothers are Superior

congrats-but-ffs-of-course-she-wouldn't-get-rejected

[dag12]

Re: Why Chinese Mothers are Superior

That's true, haha. Especially when your parents are both Yale professors. (I think her husband is a Yale professor, not Harvard...)

[Reincarnate]

Re: Why Chinese Mothers are Superior

Yeah, I had that wrong earlier. He was educated at Harvard but he's a Yale prof.

[FFR4EVA_00]

Re: Why Chinese Mothers are Superior

Update:

http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/01/20/lac.su.tiger.mother.scars/index.html?hpt=C1

[awein999]

Re: Why Chinese Mothers are Superior

I was just assigned to read this article for a class. I am laughing so hard right now.

[Reincarnate]

Re: Why Chinese Mothers are Superior

I have really mixed feelings about "tiger parenting." I feel like it has its merits but can also be used to justify outright abuse in various regards.

[Rubin0]

Re: Why Chinese Mothers are Superior

I'm a big supporter of positive reinforcement. I could never imagine that insulting my child would motivate him or her to do better, and if it did, it would be for the wrong reasons. If my child ended up being an auto mechanic but happy with a good sense of who or she is and a high self esteem, I would much rather prefer this than a child who gets a high paying power job in a law firm but constantly feels he or she is not good enough no matter how much success he or she has earned. I would always encourage my child to do his or her best and give rewards when he or she does and hope that this will encourage success in the future.

Parents are supposed to help guide their children through life, not lay down the bricks and tug a leash so that their children follow a predetermined destiny.

[Reincarnate]

Re: Why Chinese Mothers are Superior

Rubin0: The flipside to that argument, though, is that being successful gives you options. Having the freedom and ability to pursue higher realms of intelligence and skill also gives you more control over your life. I feel like it's a delicate balance. I had horrible parents, but I worked my ass off and put myself under VERY extreme, extreme levels of mental and emotional discomfort -- that would make most psychologists cringe -- to get to where I am today . But now life is my oyster at age 24 and I have unlimited freedoms to pursue whatever I wish in life. I'd choose this over a relatively simpler life any day even though there are many things I would change about my upbringing if I could.

There's always this sort of false dialectic where it's either "be a happy, poor artist" or "be a sad, unfulfilled but rich lawyer." I would argue against just how true those statements may be. I feel like too many people assume that "going easy on your kids" leads to happy kids, whereas being a "mean, strict parent" leads to low self-esteem and lack of fulfillment. I know plenty of "starving artist" types and they're always, well, starving and just as miserable as any other. "I wouldn't want to be a rich lawyer anyway" is the sort of self-comforting logic I hear from people that weren't *able* to pursue such an option to begin with. If most were presented with that type of work and a massive paycheck, you can bet many of them would jump ship.

Sometimes a "predetermined destiny" isn't a horrible thing if it means guiding your child into a lifestyle that will provide them with the ability to do whatever they want in life, which is a massive privilege/gift. Like any other form of investment, you give up a little early to get a lot more later. You just need to know when to stop investing and when to start cashing out. The key is knowing the difference between tough love and abuse.

[Rubin0]

Re: Why Chinese Mothers are Superior

I don't assume that a person can't be happy as a lawyer. I was merely stating that if my child were happy being an auto mechanic then I would be happy for him. If he were happy being a high paid lawyer then I would be happy for him. I would always encourage education since I view it as one of the most important things for a person to be successful but I'm not going to dictate what my child does once he reaches adulthood. I am making the personal decision to pursue education after college. My mother has always encouraged this but in the end it is completely up to me whether I want to continue going to school.

[benguino]

Re: Why Chinese Mothers are Superior

I don't assume that a person can't be happy as a lawyer. I was merely stating that if my child were happy being an auto mechanic then I would be happy for him. If he were happy being a high paid lawyer then I would be happy for him. I would always encourage education since I view it as one of the most important things for a person to be successful but I'm not going to dictate what my child does once he reaches adulthood. I am making the personal decision to pursue education after college. My mother has always encouraged this but in the end it is completely up to me whether I want to continue going to school.

I have to agree with this in the sense that encouragement should be the way to go. If a parent knows how to encourage their kids and how to use other psychological methods of persuasion, they can have their kids be both successful and happy. Under-involved parents usually don't show their children the different opportunities available while over-involved parents tend to force any sight of opportunity to their children to the point that their child is being forced down a pre-destined road. That is why we use mitigated speech in our society. By turning commands into suggestions, the person given the suggestion feels more happy that he has a choice and is more likely to pursue the choice that the asker intended. But if the command was left at a command, the person receiving the command would feel outraged and rebellious and would intentionally choose option the commander didn't want, just to make the commander angry. For example, you are at a restaurant and the waiter wants you to try to the special of the day. In this example she has two choices as to what to say:

1. "You are going to try the special of the day."
2. "Would you be interested in trying our special today? Today's special is poached lobster with a irish-cream butter sauce! (Expression: ^_^)"

It is obvious which statement would most likely make the customer cooperate and try the special of the day. This same principal can be applied to parenting.

[ddrxero64]

Re: Why Chinese Mothers are Superior

Bump. Well, as much as you can bump in CT.

Anyway.

http://blogs.wsj.com/juggle/2011/01/13/amy-chua-responds-to-readers/

Amy Chua responds to some readers' questions and comments in this article.
This should address some comments made by some of the people here.

On a completely different, but slightly relevant note, a friend of mine who knows Chua said that her daughter was admitted to Yale this year, and is likely to attend next year. Congrats to her daughter and the rest of her family.

Thanks for the article, it definitely gave me more insight on the first article. I don't plan to type up a storm like I did last time, but it this was way more realistic on Amy Chua's book.