Premaritial Sex

[Chrissi]

Re: Premaritial Sex

Love guarantees great sex eventually.

I'm tired of writing pages and pages on this topic, so I am just going to go after the most wrong thing you said.

No.

Love does not guarantee great sex. As I said earlier, certain people get off in certain ways. Some people are easier than others. Some people require being administered a coffee-flavoured enema, a few pairs of handcuffs and 10 metres of rope to attain orgasm. Other people can't deal with that and get grossed out, frightened, and/or turned off. These differences don't stop people from falling in love; however, they guarantee a lack of sexual compatibility.

i guess this helps prove that we never learn anything in school, but why is it so hard for a girl to have a orgaism? doesn't seem that complicated to me

It's not hard for every girl, but it's hard for many because of a woman's physiology. The clitoris is much smaller than the penis and we only see the tip of it. For one thing, the clitoris does not get stimulated during vaginal-penile intercourse. Or not very much. Some women can orgasm from this sort of stimulation, however, they are the minority. It's difficult to meet a man who can't orgasm from intercourse. Sex and the penis are designed to work well together; the optimal mechanism to stroke the penis is achieved through intercourse. However, the optimal mechanism to rub the clitoris is not even CLOSE to the way intercourse works.

The clitoris is kind of just something that's left over from not forming a penis in the womb. As such, there isn't a specific sexual mechanism that is intended to naturally stimulate it.

In much less words, the explanation is, for most women, sex doesn't cause orgasms.

However, this isn't the whole story. Many women are quite particular about the way their clitoris is stimulated. If you do it wrong, it hurts. It usually takes a woman a while to learn how to masturbate herself. As well, there are women, like me, who just require a lot of stimulation for a long time to achieve orgasm. I need somewhere between 10 minutes and an hour of stimulation to achieve orgasm. I have never had an orgasm through just plain oral sex or just plain intercourse. I also can't seem to orgasm from a partner's administrations, no matter how devoted or loving he or she is. I'm just the only one who can actually get my rocks off. My partner can help, quite a bit, with other stimulation, but when it comes to my clitoris, no one else has ever been successful, even when very devoted to the cause.

There. Very long personal explanation.

[angelofthedead]

Re: Premaritial Sex

Another point I'm trying to make is that, statistically, women who don't masturbate tend to be chronic anorgasmics. As in, they will never have an orgasm in their lives. It's not due to the unwillingness of the partner; it's due to a lack of personal experience and lack of knowledge about her own body. If she can't please herself, you probably can't please her. This is especially true of females, which is why I'm saying "her". Men tend to be a lot easier to please, physically, sexually. Non-masturbating women tend to be VERY, VERY difficult. From what I've heard (which is a lot), women who can't, haven't, or aren't willing to have an orgasm masturbating are highly unlikely to have an orgasm from their partner. Ever.

Very good point.
I may be the exception to it.
I have NEVER masturbated. Yet, I can climax just fine during intercourse. Multiple times even. I've only been with one person my whole life, and I care deeply about them, and I really think that may be a reason why we both find sex so enjoyable.

[Chrissi]

Re: Premaritial Sex

Very good point.
I may be the exception to it.
I have NEVER masturbated. Yet, I can climax just fine during intercourse. Multiple times even. I've only been with one person my whole life, and I care deeply about them, and I really think that may be a reason why we both find sex so enjoyable.

You climax from intercourse? You're lucky in the first place. That you do it without having masturbated is highly unusual. It's good though.

[angelofthedead]

Re: Premaritial Sex

Yes. I do. Multiple times. It may be unusual, but it works in my favor.

[GuidoHunter]

Re: Premaritial Sex

Love does not guarantee great sex. As I said earlier, certain people get off in certain ways. Some people are easier than others. Some people require being administered a coffee-flavoured enema, a few pairs of handcuffs and 10 metres of rope to attain orgasm. Other people can't deal with that and get grossed out, frightened, and/or turned off. These differences don't stop people from falling in love; however, they guarantee a lack of sexual compatibility.

So, you're saying that two people who love each other and are compatible, have good communication, trust, and confidence, and are comfortable enough with each other to get married, cannot agree on matters of sexuality enough to have an appreciable sex life?

I don't buy it.

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

[Grandiagod]

Re: Premaritial Sex

So, you're saying that two people who love each other and are compatible, have good communication, trust, and confidence, and are comfortable enough with each other to get married, cannot agree on matters of sexuality enough to have an appreciable sex life?

I don't buy it.

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

You don't have to buy it, I'll give it to you for free.

If you'd step back and take a look at real life for a second you'd notice the countless numbers of people getting divorces because they couldn't meet their spouse's needs.

[GuidoHunter]

Re: Premaritial Sex

You don't have to buy it, I'll give it to you for free.

If you'd step back and take a look at real life for a second you'd notice the countless numbers of people getting divorces because they couldn't meet their spouse's needs.

And those divorces are necessarily due to a couple who were abstinent and couldn't come to a sexual agreement?

Come, now, and give me some real stats if you want to argue that.

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

[KH Luxord]

Re: Premaritial Sex

I'm only 13, but I still get to place my opinion on this. So here it is.

Most teenagers or unmarried couples have sex probably because they are depressed with their own lives, so they want to bring in some enjoyment, perhaps?

It shows that they strongly love each other (depending on if it was forced or not, or real feelings for each other or not), yet, it might be against some religion, so it might be breaking religion to show their love to each other, even though, it's not like it will create a big problem (ex: going to hell), it is just not right to some branches of Christianity, so it might create a problem to the family and their religious life, but I personally don't think that it is much of a problem (I'm Catholic, so I don't care about PmS).

Maybe it is a gift to each other for a birthday, Valentine's Day, a dating anniversary, or to celebrate engagement (before the wedding), perhaps? Those are some of the major times that PmS might happen.

Of course, when married, it can still be on your/your spouse's birthday, Valentine's Day, or your anniversary. But, I guess it kind of depends on age.

If your young and have PmS, then, chances are that you are depressed or just can't control your f***ing hormones. No offense to those that had it already.

Maybe, you're an adult (females), and you're Biological Clock is ticking its way to its end, and you want to have a child, or maybe you just want to have children before it ticks, then I guess that's a time when it really might be necessary to you or to your parent's when they told you when you were a child, "I want grandchildren!" So you want to have their grandchildren before your BioClock is up. That is when PmS is ok, I guess...

But, if you are a teenager, and you have PmS, if your parents told you not to have children as a teenager, wear a condom!!! Don't be an idiot!!! Your parents strictly told you not to have children at a young age, so make sure you don't have children at a young age, or your parents/and your girlfriend's parents (males) will beat you over the head for having a child/making your girlfriend have a child, because they didn't plan to be grandparents yet, and they didn't want them to fall out of their studies. So, have protected sex if you are a teenager.

So, I don't care if you have PmS or not. But follow the orders of your parents. They don't want to see your partner pregnant being underage, and having to deal with abortion whether they have enough money or not, because it counts as killing, which is a major sin. And if the baby does come, the mother and father fall out of school because they have to take care of little Johnny, or the parents have to give the baby to an orphanage, or, the worst of all, abandon or kill the child.

So, teenagers, wear a condom during your PmS. And adults, do whatever the f*** you want, because I don't care. You're an adult. You are old enough to make your own decisions. Your parents don't control your f***ing life anymore, so you can do whatever the f*** you want. If that includes having PmS, do whatever the f*** you want, because no one f***ing cares if you do or not.

But after you get married, you might be somewhere in your late 20s or your 30s already because you planned on going to school to get your PhD or your Masters, your Teaching Credential, or whatever, and then what ended up happening, you got married a bit later than most people. So you know what happened, 30% of your chances of having a child went down the f***ing drain.

But, use that thought fellow teenagers, and think before you have PmS. Not to be a bit controlling with you guys, but just giving some critical advice.

PS - I did not yet, because I am 13, and I go to a smart school (Oxford Academy, in Cypress, CA), so I have the sense to not have PmS yet. Not like a 13-year-old would have PmS anyway, so I don't even know why I am mentioning this.

PSS - Sorry for any typos that are in there, if there are any in there, because Firefox points out your spelling mistakes when made.

[KH Luxord]

Re: Premaritial Sex

Being a child in a divorced home I know that most adults practice premarital sex. Both my parents are in relationships in which they have engaged in sexual activity while neither of them have remarried. Therefore, having been brought up around premarital sex I have lost the influence that the Catholic faith gave me which is rejecting premarital sex.

Well, I am Catholic, and I learned that PmS is not that much of a big deal. The big deal is adultery!!!

The definition of adultery discusses the following:

1) Being married/Dating and having sex with another's spouse, which is breaking Commandment 6 and Commandment 9 (Adultery and Coveting Neighbor's Spouse) (Cheating Externally (which includes two or more people)).

2) Being married/Dating and having sex with another person other than your spouse that is not married (loose man/woman) (breaking Commandment 6 and 9) (Cheating Externally).

3) Being married/Dating and looking at/watching/thinking about porn/or some hot people that you saw someday, and masturbating. The act of self-orgasm is also known as adultery, so if you are married or dating, DON'T DO IT!!! (breaking Commandment 6) (Cheating Internally (which includes only the self and thoughts)


So I hoped I helped you in showing you the true meaning in that Commandment. Because as Catholics, I guess we should all know the true meaning of the Commandments that God had sent down to Moses to spread His message to the people through him (Moses).

Sperm can never "pass through" a condom unless the condom has been degraded somehow or there is a hole in it. An ideal condom, like one kept in a drawer at a reasonable temperature that hasn't had holes poked in it and hasn't expired, used properly, has a MUCH lower risk rate than 17%. Less than 1%.

The "83%" that you hear is 1) a made up statistic, and 2) it's supposed to be the success rate of condoms used altogether. That means used by the average person. That means, used wrong.

Sperm don't "pass through" condoms. I don't know what they're teaching kids these days, but let me have a crack at them.

Finally, someone got something right about sex. I don't know who thought of sperm being able to pass through condoms, because they can't!!!! They can only pass through if the condom is not lubricated, if it has been destroyed by the heat because it was left in a car, or in the f***ing microwave or at room temperature because condoms are supposed to be colder than normal room temperature. Also, if there are holes on it, then I don't know what kind of idiot would wear it. Unlike most schools, Oxford Academy (in Cypress, CA, you have to test to get in, but it is a public school, it's a College Preparatory Secondary School (meaning that you get prepared for college, but the school is a school requiring testing) actually teaches correctly by teaching us somewhat graphic videos. I'm going in to 8th grade, but during my 7th grade year there (feels like yesterday, though it was just a couple of months ago) we watched videos on sex, birth, condoms, and STDs.

Ok like 2 years ago in 9th grade in health we had the "Family Life" Unit
basically all we learned was where everything was and this dude came in to tell us to practice absanice(sp?)
we didn't go over anything else but that pretty much, the school system wasn't even aloud to show us what a condom looked like
I don't know how it is in other schools but here you don't learn jack

You had a bunch of typos that I just fixed, but it is spelled abstainance (meaning to not have sex before marriage). And I think he might of said NOT to practice abstainance. I just finished 7th grade on June 19, 2007, and am going into 8th grade. And at my school (listed above), we kind of watched videos on what ejaculation looks like inside the vagina (so we saw intercourse from the INSIDE), we saw the birth of a live child, we saw what a condom looked like when taken out, but we saw how it was put on and what it looked like going on through pictures rather than live. But, we were all 12 or 13, so it was kind of understandable. But at Oxford Academy, even though we are in Jr. High, we still were treated like we were in High School. So, anyway, we saw what it looked like putting it on in the drawing. And I'd rather not discuss it, but it was not really pretty watching it. And then we watched videos on STDs, and that was it for the Reproduction unit. So, I'm sorry that you guys didn't get to learn as much as a Freshmen as my classmates and I did as 7th graders.



*EDIT* - This double post was made to mention different things. The first post was relating to the topic. And the second post was related to the post of another person in this thread. So, just to clarify that, there you go.

[toxicninja]

Re: Premaritial Sex

So, you're saying that two people who love each other and are compatible, have good communication, trust, and confidence, and are comfortable enough with each other to get married, cannot agree on matters of sexuality enough to have an appreciable sex life?

I don't buy it.

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

I think people who love each other have affairs because of sexual dissatisfaction.

[GuidoHunter]

Re: Premaritial Sex

Well, I am Catholic, and I learned that PmS is not that much of a big deal. The big deal is adultery!!!

WHAT?!

They're BOTH big deals! Who taught you otherwise?

Also, your post is all well and good, but we're really trying to keep religion out of the discussion so that all parties involved can address points. It's a whole 'nother issue when you bring religion into it.

I think people who love each other have affairs because of sexual dissatisfaction.

If they're cheating, they're lacking some SERIOUS components necessary to a marriage before unavoidable sexual dissatisfaction.

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

[toxicninja]

Re: Premaritial Sex

If they're cheating, they're lacking some SERIOUS components necessary to a marriage before unavoidable sexual dissatisfaction.

--Guido

wouldn't they just leave the person instead of cheating if that was the case? I know loveless marridges exist but my point was people who love each other cheat out of sexual desire.

[GuidoHunter]

Re: Premaritial Sex

wouldn't they just leave the person instead of cheating if that was the case? I know loveless marridges exist but my point was people who love each other cheat out of sexual desire.

And my point was that we aren't considering marriages that don't have necessary components of a successful marriage.

That is, a good marriage is going to have the communication, trust, and everything else in place such that a sexual incompatibility will be talked about and fixed, rather than having one spouse just up and find another partner.

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

[KH Luxord]

Re: Premaritial Sex

WHAT?!

They're BOTH big deals! Who taught you otherwise?

Also, your post is all well and good, but we're really trying to keep religion out of the discussion so that all parties involved can address points. It's a whole 'nother issue when you bring religion into it.



--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

Depends on who you ask. You see, PmS is a big deal, but I mean, it all depends on the reason. Read my first post.

And thanks. I was just clarifying, to make sure that I don't get banned for a double post on accident...

[GuidoHunter]

Re: Premaritial Sex

Depends on who you ask. You see, PmS is a big deal, but I mean, it all depends on the reason. Read my first post.

You mentioned the Catholic Church in your post. To the Church, premarital sex is very much a big deal. That's all I was saying.

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com