what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

[Relambrien]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

Read "Memoirs of a Geisha" by Arthur Golden if you're curious to read a book involving female main characters written by a male who knows what he is doing. Alternatively, read "Exile's Honour" or "Brightly Burning" for books written by women involving male main characters.

Thanks; I'll look into those.

[Cavernio]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

In my experience, almost every time I've tried to guess a woman's feelings in a situation like this or the types of thoughts in her head, I'm completely and totally off. This is what allows me to know that I cannot empathize with women in such a situation. I'm sure other men can, however.

I wouldn't call that inability to empathize. Once she explains her thoughts to you, only then if you don't understand her reasoning is there a lack of empathy.
Also, it could be more of a factor of the women you've been with. Men who I feel have understood me are ones which I have quite a bit in common with, and/or are ones who we've spent hours upon hours talking about personal things with. Have you ever been really good friends with a woman before? (You don't have to answer that, just throwing it out there.) There are men who I'm sure wouldn't be able to understand me easily, just like there're women who I'm sure wouldn't be able to either.

It's probably because it's late, but unfortunately I seem unable to understand this part.

Even if you don't have much in common with someone at all, if they're good at communicating, and you have an open mind, then it's still possible to understand them.

Well, actually this isn't true. I have in fact read books involving attraction by female authors, and to this day I haven't been able to understand the reasoning of a single female character in any of them (though admittedly, I haven't read -that many- stories like this) in such a case.

If these were run-of-the-mill romance novels, then I don't blame you. They seem to often assume innate understanding of situations, which makes sense seeing the demographic they're geared for. They've usually got a boring story, and I personally don't much care for the sex scenes either. I did when I was 11. Not my choice of reading material or pornography (FYI, many women admittedly read them for sexual arousal, hence, making them porn.)

Now, I'm not saying it's impossible to empathize with someone of the opposite sex, just that it's impossible for -me-, based on experience. I'm completely certain others can, though..

You're still young; I think you'll find you'll be able to with the right person.

Books to try:
Anything by George Eliot. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Eliot
I've only read 1 book by her, however, Silas Marner, and, the culture it's written in is completely foreign to me, however, because she does such a good job of conveying it, I understand the reasoning behind the characters. That particular book had no romance in it though.
Have you ever read any of the Earth Children series, by Jean Auel? Clan of the Cave Bear is the first one. That's entirely a woman's perspective, but the second book in the series, she writes as men also. It also has a completely different culture in it too though.
Seemingly against what I said about romance novels, Gone with the Wind is a really good read as well. I personally don't know why that's called a romance actually. I've never seen the movie. It definitely offers new perspectives, and again, different culture. (I see a trend in what I like in a novel.) Author's female, Margaret Mead.

I'd like to be able to say that you just haven't been able to understand the romance for the female characters because what you've read is poorly written...

[shatteredgravity]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

dating is just practice for when you're older and ready for a commitment.
there's nothing wrong with that.

it also teaches you lessons on what to not do in a relationship. besides the lessons you can learn from dating, i see it as half pointless because all you do is either end up with your heart broken, OR you ended up having sex and then your heart gets broken. i feel half and half about dating.

[shadowraikiri]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

stop arguing ppl, dating is just another part of life, it teaches you what not to do in future ones (if there ever are any) like what gravuty said, but its just another part of life, plain and simple. im 14 ive been with my Girlfriend for more then a year, we're going strong.

[shatteredgravity]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

im 14 ive been with my Girlfriend for more then a year, we're going strong.

lucky.

[Go_Oilers_Go]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

I think that you should really only start dating at age 12 at the earliest. "Dating" before that is just sorta sad because the kids have no idea what they're doing.

[jakspar0w]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

stop arguing ppl, dating is just another part of life, it teaches you what not to do in future ones (if there ever are any) like what gravuty said, but its just another part of life, plain and simple. im 14 ive been with my Girlfriend for more then a year, we're going strong.

It's CT, we're supposed to argue.
On topic :/
I'm a teen, and I say dating is fun. I mean, why watch a romantic movie and wait until you're like 19 or so to date? I'm sure many people agree with me that it's better to just...not wait?
Not only that, but many people are curious about the opposite sex (or same, whatever haha), by dating them you can find out more about them.
Finally, like everyone else said, it's good to have some practice for the future, eh.

[Tex :)]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

I think it is just so stupid for children and younger teens to be dating... that all I really have to say...

[GamerShadow]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

Edit: the post I mention in the first paragraph is #18 of this thread by Rel.

In relation to the post that described affection for a person of the opposite sex in the form of "tolerance", I must say that I may have been through that. I am not completely confident in my statement, but I feel that what was said makes sense. When I was about 13-14 (7th and 9th grade), I always had internal struggle, or conflict, when I had a crush on somebody.

Of course, being the guy who to this day has still not had a girlfriend yet, I was forced to wait until the feelings died down, due to a change in taste, or some other reason.

Now, I don't have those feelings anymore. There is seldom any conflict, or feeling, to the point where I have trouble distinguishing it between a crush, and a respect for the person. (There is a difference between the two.)

tl;dr version: What he said makes total sense to me.

[panphil]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

there is a lot of people i know who date for having sex. i am not one of these. i think that childrens (0 to 11 or 12) that say they are dating just look stupid. ex.:my sister says :eewwww kissing my boyfriend (shes 11). she have "broke" with him and thats why i nerver had a grilfriend at this age.

[Mookage]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

Personally I don't think children should be dating. Teenagers are different though because they get more freedom and are beginning to make choices that influence their life. My dad always told me to date a lot of girls so I know what I like about them and what I dislike. A lot of young children mistake liking a person for loving them. The age I think that carries the nessecary freedom and decision making ability for a succesful relationship is about 15. This may not be so in all cases, depending on the maturity of the people involved.

[slipstrike0159]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

Ok, sorry if someone was saying this already and i thought it meant something else but...

The way i look at dating is this: Once you turn 16 and have the ability to drive your date and get a job to make money to spend on dates is when you should start. Realitically if you date before that you are doing so without a lot of knowledge because of your age which in most cases undoubtably ends up very badly.

As for the reasons behind dating. Dating in your teenage years is one of the best ways of finding qualities and characteristics that you might like in a future spouse. Through the whole dating process you meet people and talk with people gathering information about what you like, which is essentially helping you learn. Then once you find the person who has a good deal of those characteristics you admired in other dates and if you get along very well then you marry them. Its just a matter of starting at the right time to make it most effective. To say that dating is fruitless is to say that going to school is fruitless in many of the same ways. Also, dating shouldnt be a serious thing until you are old enough to be looking for a serious spouse so mostly its just a matter of having fun with your friends and the people you like.

I want to make a point too that Dating and Steady Dating are two completely different things. As teenagers we are really not mature enough to be STEADY DATING mainly because steady dating is what you lead up to with the person you really think you have the possibility of marrying. Also its like i said before, if you are steady dating then you are really only experiencing that one person and you miss out on the opportunities of enjoying the presence of other personalities.

If this came off as sounding like a preachy lesson then i appologize. That is how i look at the whole thing though.

[Tex :)]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

Personally I don't think children should be dating. Teenagers are different though because they get more freedom and are beginning to make choices that influence their life. My dad always told me to date a lot of girls so I know what I like about them and what I dislike. A lot of young children mistake liking a person for loving them. The age I think that carries the nessecary freedom and decision making ability for a succesful relationship is about 15. This may not be so in all cases, depending on the maturity of the people involved.

Like mookage and I said, children dating is stupid... while older teens on the other hand, is normal, and pretty much ok.

[Shad_Zero]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

I think that teens should have the right to date, why? Because when they become adults, they will need to know how to start a relationship with the opposite, or the same sex. Life isn't fun by yourself yes. So teens dating, sure why not?

Now as for the youngbucks, I don't think they should be dating. Because little kids need their time to be innocent. The time for them to be going out with others will come. But if they start dating at 8 and stuff, what do you think they're gonna do when they get older?

Keep the kids away from rap videos plz. XD

[-Live_Free-]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

I'm 18 going my my girl that is 16, we've been going out for about 3years now and everything has been going just fine. In fact we have both planned getting engaged right after college . So I do think that teens can make mature decisions.