what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

[greekanilater]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

why do teens date? for fun? for love? do the even understand true love? please tell me i really want to understand their mind set

[GuidoHunter]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

that is my point. why are they dating... i want to know the reasons behind it.

Dating in middle/high school is either about practicing for future, possibly long-term relationships, or about the guy wanting to get laid.

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

[Relambrien]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

EDIT: This is several posts late due to having taken a very long time to write up.

yes but what does practicing bad habits do? besides reinforcing the bad habits.

say if a kid never developed proper manners because he had only ever ate with the skills he learned from other kids, it would be a disaster... and very difficult for him to learn those skills. but if the kid learns from an adult he may be better behaved...

so what im saying is that to learn the skill you need, you first have to find someone with those skills.

I don't even know where you pulled this out from. Seriously, I don't have a clue how this relates to the original topic. Where did "bad habits" appear anywhere in the previous responses?

...Oh, I think I see. When devonin said that "while looking back, one almost always finds their early relationships (which at the time you are convinced are true and pure love) to be more than a little immature and silly," you took this to mean something about how bad habits are developed in early relationships.

What, may I ask, are these "bad habits" you're talking about? Maybe you mean that dating early leads to bad habits because you haven't learned how to date yet? That would make sense with your statement that "to learn the skill you need, you first have to find someone with those skills." If you assume that the "skill" is dating, then I think I understand what you're saying.

So let me summarize what I -think- you're trying to say.

Children shouldn't be dating because they have no experience with dating, and with no experience, will develop bad habits which will affect relationships later in life. Also, children may make mistakes which could greatly affect them in the long run.

Does that sound like what you're trying to say? I'm going to assume it does, and respond to that. I can't believe it's taken this long just to figure out -what- I'm responding to...

Anyway, as with anything else, you have to start somewhere. Dating is no exception. You can't expect to know everything there is to know or do everything right when you've never done something before. The point to teenage dating is, as has been said, more or less an introduction to what relationships will be like later. You gain valuable experience that can be used to your advantage in the future, in a way that doesn't involve anything particularly binding.

Also, you said something about sex and diseases to help support your argument that children should not be dating. That's like saying, "I set my house on fire because I left oil by the fireplace. Down with fireplaces!" Just because a couple people do something with an item (or in the case of dating, a process) that totally screws them over doesn't mean the item (or process) needs to be made unavailable for everyone else.

At this point, I'm just going to post this as-is and see how many other posts have been made while I typed this, so I can respond to those.

EDIT: Wow, there were a lot of posts. So let's get started.

Well, first off, this makes things a lot simpler for everyone:

why do teens date? for fun? for love? do the even understand true love? please tell me i really want to understand their mind set

As a teen myself, this question is pretty easy to answer. Your teenage years are the first years when you begin to feel serious attraction towards others. At times, this attraction can become so powerful that you begin to struggle between going about your daily life and dealing with the attraction. Dating is an outlet for this attraction that turns it into happiness instead of struggle. By dating, you can satisfy your attraction by being with the object of your affection, thus eliminating the struggle and turning that time together into something positive. I don't expect many teens think, "Hmm, I think I'll go on a date to practice for later in life." That's just one of the main effects of dating, the cause of which is a desire to have your attraction acknowledged and accepted by the other person.

Of course, as the teen gets older he or she gets used to the feelings of attraction, which then weaken considerably to the point where they don't really cause a feeling of struggle. It's sort of like tolerance to drugs; after repeated exposure, the effects lessen. At this point, dating is mainly just for fun or something to do with someone you like. The novelty wears off.

At least, that's how it is on the male side. I don't have a clue what it's like on the female side, so don't ask me.

[greekanilater]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

but this what im trying to understand cant we have any mature reasons?

[GuidoHunter]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

but this what im trying to understand cant we have any mature reasons?

Are you even reading the words we're putting on your screen?

--Guido

http://andy.mikee385.com

[Cavernio]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

Why do you feel the need for 'mature' reasons to do things?

I think our culture's changing such that I can ask you the question, why marry? If our society where such that committing to long-term relationships is unusual, now adults would have the same 'immature' reasons to date and have sex as teenagers would. Parenthood could become a single-person choice, (and already has for many women), and as such is becoming separate from the dating scene. You don't even have to have sex if you want to be a parent these days. Companionship is not exclusive to long-term romantic relationships either; it can be found in just about any relationship you have.

I think I agree with what you've said Relambrien, and I don't think what you've said just applies to men. (What is it with people thinking the sexes are so different from each other?) Perhaps the intensity of feelings is often stronger in men, (generally speaking, definitely not always). There's also that even if one person doesn't reciprocate the attraction as strongly, or much at all, they still like the attention, and also that someone being attracted to you can make you attracted to them, particularly if you respect the other person. Goooo narcissism!

[Zageron]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

I didn't bother reading the whole thing. But...

I think dating in the ages of 8 - 13 is fine. It's just kids copying older kids, so they can get used to it in life. As for an 18 year old dating a 15 year old. I think thats wrong. In 70 odd % of the cases this happens its ether the 15 yo wanting sex bcause he/she is curious, or the 18 yo is looking for an easy playmate... -_-

[kandolyn]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

dating is just practice for when you're older and ready for a commitment.
there's nothing wrong with that.

[Relambrien]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

I think I agree with what you've said Relambrien, and I don't think what you've said just applies to men. (What is it with people thinking the sexes are so different from each other?) Perhaps the intensity of feelings is often stronger in men, (generally speaking, definitely not always). There's also that even if one person doesn't reciprocate the attraction as strongly, or much at all, they still like the attention, and also that someone being attracted to you can make you attracted to them, particularly if you respect the other person. Goooo narcissism!

Well, since I -am- a man and -not- a woman, I cannot honestly expect to be able to speak for someone with whom I can't even empathize on a subject, having had no experience on the other side.

[Intrastat]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

I'm gonna go ahead and say what's already been said: Teen dating just gives people an idea of what to look for later on in life.

That said, my friend (18) is dating a girl (15) and I rip on him about it every day. It's the saddest thing to see a college man dating a junior in high school.

[Cavernio]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

Well, since I -am- a man and -not- a woman, I cannot honestly expect to be able to speak for someone with whom I can't even empathize on a subject, having had no experience on the other side.

You're assuming you can't empathize with someone of the opposite sex. The only way I see someone never being able to empathize with the other, is if the feeling involved is completely foreign. If you have even an inkling of what it's like, I think there's a strong possibility of empathizing, if you choose. Women do have sex drives you know. Men and women seem to possess the same capacity for all feelings. We're all humans.
That you can't for sure speak for someone else about an issue or feeling is always true of course, and I think that the ability for the other person to understand and even empathize depends a lot on how similar they are to you, but failing similarity between 2 people, meaning can still be conveyed as long as enough situational and cultural background is discussed. I'm sure you've read books by good female authors that involve attraction of some type, and surely those sections must not've been foreign to you. Or, you've read books by female authors written from the perspective of male characters, and they make sense.

[ltbby]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

Children dating is pretty much pointless because you can't go out when you want and see that person and all that mess. I know I had little boyfriends..or just called boys my boyfriend for about 5 mins or something. I guess it's all just a part of youth ha. Teenage dating is okay with me. I don't see anything wrong with it..just as long as you are making good decisions like whether or not to have sex and stuff like that.


:]

[FatalRay]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

Well I am a teenager myself, and I am almost 17...I have been with my girlfriend for almost 9 monthes now and we arn't showing any signs of weakness yet...Too be honest...sex was never a big part in my mind, yes, I love it, it's amazing but that is not the meaning to a relationship for me. I'm very happy with my gf and I can say that teens do possess the ability to actually have meaningful relationships. Me and my girlfriend do want to marry oneday. But we are of course waiting. Love is love, and people will know when they are in it, and if it will truly work. Teen, or not.

[Relambrien]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

You're assuming you can't empathize with someone of the opposite sex. The only way I see someone never being able to empathize with the other, is if the feeling involved is completely foreign. If you have even an inkling of what it's like, I think there's a strong possibility of empathizing, if you choose. Women do have sex drives you know. Men and women seem to possess the same capacity for all feelings. We're all humans.

In my experience, almost every time I've tried to guess a woman's feelings in a situation like this or the types of thoughts in her head, I'm completely and totally off. This is what allows me to know that I cannot empathize with women in such a situation. I'm sure other men can, however.

That you can't for sure speak for someone else about an issue or feeling is always true of course, and I think that the ability for the other person to understand and even empathize depends a lot on how similar they are to you, but failing similarity between 2 people, meaning can still be conveyed as long as enough situational and cultural background is discussed.

It's probably because it's late, but unfortunately I seem unable to understand this part.

I'm sure you've read books by good female authors that involve attraction of some type, and surely those sections must not've been foreign to you. Or, you've read books by female authors written from the perspective of male characters, and they make sense.

Well, actually this isn't true. I have in fact read books involving attraction by female authors, and to this day I haven't been able to understand the reasoning of a single female character in any of them (though admittedly, I haven't read -that many- stories like this) in such a case.

As for female authors writing from perspective of a male character, well, I tend to have difficulty remembering authors' names. Because of that, I can only remember a few books that I'm certain fit this description. However, if I recall, the male characters' reasoning did make sense to me most of the time, though there were a few scattered parts where I was completely baffled.

Now, I'm not saying it's impossible to empathize with someone of the opposite sex, just that it's impossible for -me-, based on experience. I'm completely certain others can, though..

[devonin]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

Read "Memoirs of a Geisha" by Arthur Golden if you're curious to read a book involving female main characters written by a male who knows what he is doing. Alternatively, read "Exile's Honour" or "Brightly Burning" for books written by women involving male main characters.