Re: TWG CXLIX Infractions and general OOTC stuff
I'm still feeling strange over seeing my own request over my own ban get accepted, but I won't make you repeat yourself over this. I agree with it.
Note that even with a suitable reason, there should be some ban length regardless. I do not currently have a "suitable reason" to get myself unbanned btw.
I don't believe there was much thinking involved as to "why" we cheated. It was really just a chain of spontaneous reactions such as "whoa, you know this OGI?", "I know this too!", "whoa you're that role?", "hey, I'm that role", "think we can solve the game if we team?" etc. it wasn't premeditated cheating, but it certainly build up over time as the game progressed until the report.
Why did it take so long to report and explain things?
I had a different level of "cheating tolerance" than the rules themselves. I was mostly naive with OoT scenarios and what to do about them at that point. I looked at our chat from a subjective pov instead of thinking objectively. I wanted to believe I could trust what he was doing because he didn't stop me and have been playing games since a long time. I figured if he didn't tell me "that is wrong", it's because it was still fair to some extend. I obviously ended up changing my opinion @ report myself. I did that way too late compared to when I should have done it. That is wrong as well. I also didn't realize I had to tell a mod when I knew things that I shouldn't know so they could replace me. I figured I could act like I didn't knew because I wouldn't be able to justify an OGI in-game, but it definitely affected my game after all and I should have quit for that reason as well.
tl;dr: At some point, we literally ignored the implications of "OoT: Off" in hope to get an edge over the game and that is unacceptable. When I started realizing what I was doing, it was already too late and it took me a while before deciding to report because I was part of the problem. I also didn't want to "ruin the friendship" with another player over this and I was also feeling like it was counter-productive to report myself to get myself banned.
What am I concluding from it now?
- I have to learn to "stop" and ask directly the mod/host the very moment I think something may be wrong.
- I need to keep an eye on my own attitude, not only for myself, but also for the others.
- I definitely needed a break to distance myself from the game and think properly about my own actions.
I would like to apologize again for this incident. It seems like I do stupid things if I let myself get distracted by my own curiosity. What started with simple questions to learn things turned into not only testing boundaries, but also clearly crossing them as well.
As for "playing with a sense of integrity". I feel like I have the tools to do that properly now, but I think it's still too early to throw me back into a game. I've been quite salty lately because I'm obviously not happy with this ban.
This post is probably more for myself than others. I'm not really expecting anything out of it. I'm just trying to summarize what happened fmpov. That may sound unbelievable, but I'm still upset at how I could do what I did.
I'm still feeling strange over seeing my own request over my own ban get accepted, but I won't make you repeat yourself over this. I agree with it.
The reason that permanently is in quotes is because the period of time will be as long as it takes for Haku to give either me or another TWG mod a suitable reason to unban them. Should it become apparent to someone that this is not the case, Haku will be allowed to play once again. I do hope to see this happen.
As of right now, I believe that Haku has not learned their lesson, and after talking to them, and having other people approach me with what Haku has told them, I still haven't gotten a straight answer from them regarding their reasons for cheating in the previous game, or anything that I can observe, point at and say "because of this I think that if Haku was allowed to play again, they would do so with a sense of integrity."
Why did it take so long to report and explain things?
I had a different level of "cheating tolerance" than the rules themselves. I was mostly naive with OoT scenarios and what to do about them at that point. I looked at our chat from a subjective pov instead of thinking objectively. I wanted to believe I could trust what he was doing because he didn't stop me and have been playing games since a long time. I figured if he didn't tell me "that is wrong", it's because it was still fair to some extend. I obviously ended up changing my opinion @ report myself. I did that way too late compared to when I should have done it. That is wrong as well. I also didn't realize I had to tell a mod when I knew things that I shouldn't know so they could replace me. I figured I could act like I didn't knew because I wouldn't be able to justify an OGI in-game, but it definitely affected my game after all and I should have quit for that reason as well.
tl;dr: At some point, we literally ignored the implications of "OoT: Off" in hope to get an edge over the game and that is unacceptable. When I started realizing what I was doing, it was already too late and it took me a while before deciding to report because I was part of the problem. I also didn't want to "ruin the friendship" with another player over this and I was also feeling like it was counter-productive to report myself to get myself banned.
What am I concluding from it now?
- I have to learn to "stop" and ask directly the mod/host the very moment I think something may be wrong.
- I need to keep an eye on my own attitude, not only for myself, but also for the others.
- I definitely needed a break to distance myself from the game and think properly about my own actions.
I would like to apologize again for this incident. It seems like I do stupid things if I let myself get distracted by my own curiosity. What started with simple questions to learn things turned into not only testing boundaries, but also clearly crossing them as well.
As for "playing with a sense of integrity". I feel like I have the tools to do that properly now, but I think it's still too early to throw me back into a game. I've been quite salty lately because I'm obviously not happy with this ban.
This post is probably more for myself than others. I'm not really expecting anything out of it. I'm just trying to summarize what happened fmpov. That may sound unbelievable, but I'm still upset at how I could do what I did.
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