Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

[Poison-]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

Edit: Oh, this is a drizzle thread. I'm still pretty sure this guy is trolling nonstop. I find it difficult to believe someone could write the things he does.

Gender: Female ?

[Crazyjayde]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

^ Confirmed

[Izzy]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

That doesn't change much even if it is true. I don't think I'd easily believe someone that seems to lie about everything else.

[Crazyjayde]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

The fact that you said this:

I'm still pretty sure this guy is trolling nonstop

makes me think that you don't fully understand what an account worth a thousand of posts entails.
This thread is getting harsh.

[Izzy]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

What are you implying it is worth? That doesn't seem like a big deal to me. Someone could easily be bored enough to spend the time messing with people.

[Crazyjayde]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

I am implying it's enough dedication in this short time span to be clear about her genuine interest in this community.
Jesus, go ask her yourself.

[drizzleRomanceGirl]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

It's legal to wear one's pants below the normal belt line thereby exposing one's undergarments (boxers/briefs/thongs etc.), however this behaviour is classified as immature and frowned upon by adults. I'm immature as hell for a lot of things, but it's hard not to pass judgement on some behaviours when you see them. If this whole maturity debate is driven by opinion, then there isn't a right or wrong answer for what you're looking for. Adults expecting others to be mature is irritating to you because in your opinion, immature behaviours should not be scrutinized. These adults aren't wrong in their judgements and neither are you in being irritated by it

Thank you Dynam0, you helped me understand that I need to accept that some people are going to judge and/or insult me. I need to be able to take what others tell me with a grain of salt and follow my own beliefs.

Izzy, I couldn't care less what you think about me, but please don't derail this thread.

I understand that learning to act in the interest of society is helpful, but I think the way some people attack others' self-esteem and behavior is revolting. In my opinion, people who think it's their duty to judge and incriminate the immature actions of others are losing a huge sense of community. The very definition of maturity seems to be to act the way society expects others to while discouraging opinions and critical thought. If this kind of thinking continues, we might eventually turn into a society similar to the one depicted in the novel titled The Giver by Lois Lowry.

In this novel, no one has deep feelings for anyone else, and everyone is forced to conform to society. These people are discouraged from thinking for themselves and are told false information from their birth so that they can live in an ignorant Utopian society. They are told what to do, which job to adopt by the time they are 12-years-old, and even whether they are eligible to have children. Furthermore, if anyone tries to escape from the city they're imprisoned inside, they are killed without the escapee even knowing what death means, and mistakenly believe they will be transported to another place.

Is this really the life we are heading towards?

[Poison-]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

Thank you Dynam0, you helped me understand that I need to accept that some people are going to judge and/or insult me. I need to be able to take what others tell me with a grain of salt and follow my own beliefs.

Izzy, I couldn't care less what you think about me, but please don't derail this thread.

I understand that learning to act in the interest of society is helpful, but I think the way some people attack others' self-esteem and behavior is revolting. In my opinion, people who think it's their duty to judge and incriminate the immature actions of others are losing a huge sense of community. The very definition of maturity seems to be to act the way society expects others to while discouraging opinions and critical thought. If this kind of thinking continues, we might eventually turn into a society similar to the one depicted in the novel titled The Giver by Lois Lowry.

In this novel, no one has deep feelings for anyone else, and everyone is forced to conform to society. These people are discouraged from thinking for themselves and are told false information from their birth so that they can live in an ignorant Utopian society. They are told what to do, which job to adopt by the time they are 12-years-old, and even whether they are eligible to have children. Furthermore, if anyone tries to escape from the city they're imprisoned inside, they are killed without the escapee even knowing what death means, and mistakenly believe they will be transported to another place.

Is this really the life we are heading towards?

No it is not

[benguino]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

You have to realize though that you do in fact live in a society. Sure, everyone could be like "lol, screw everyone else, I'm gonna do whatever I want" but that doesn't make for a productive society. A lot of the social norms however just make sense. For example, if you agreed to meet your friend in 5 minutes, acting like "oh, the law doesn't say I have to meet my friend on time" is a poor excuse for being 3 hours late. Many of the social constructs are put in place because their reasoning is based on the consideration of others (sometimes even including yourself). Other social norms may seem ridiculous or obscure but give them a chance to think about why they exist in the first place.

Also, just putting it out their, if adjusting to social norms and being mature is an exhausting activity in itself, then spend more time with friends; when you're good friends with someone, over time you build up a mutual understanding of what actions are tolerable :P

[devonin]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

I just don't understand how 'maturity' is supposed to somehow be mutually exclusive from doing fun things, or having 'childish' hobbies.

I'm mature. I run a business, I have meetings, I wear suits and ties now and then and have grown up talk with the other grownups, and then I read sci-fi/fantasy, play Magic and D&D and World of Warcraft and go to gaming conventions.

Maturity is not about "someone not having to babysit you" it is about you meeting your end of the deal for living in a society. At a certain point, the adults who labour and provide things for everybody say "Okay, we've given you enough, now you have to start earning it." And you need to start earning it.

Does that mean they are trying to "force" you to be mature? No, they're calling in a debt you put yourself into when you let your parents feed and clothe you for your childhood and adolescence.

Does that mean you must be universally "A grown up" and forever completely stoic and independent? Of course not. You just have certain obligations you need to meet first.

[stargroup100]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

I will admit I haven't had much time to think about this but from just cursory scrutination, I think the point of social norms that are not "obvious" is two-fold. They create a standard that can potentially reduce conflict and misunderstanding when two sides of an issue are both valid, and they tell people what is acceptable or unacceptable because someone doesn't believe the majority is capable of coming to that conclusion on their own. But they're still social norms, and not rules or laws. While society does pressure us to conform to these norms, (at least in our US government) no one is forcing us to.

I think you guys covered this already, but I'll summarize from a different point of view. When most people use the word "mature" in this context, they're probably referring to traits that pertain to a person being independent, responsible, and respectful. These are all positive traits. There's nothing wrong with wanting a person to be better. People that fight this are usually more concerned about personality. They don't want to sit there and be boring, inactive, calm, whatever personality traits people associate with maturity. Personality is something you can't and shouldn't change, and this is not what maturity is about. It's a matter of speaking the same language here.

[Pseudo Enigma]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

>The Giver
>Dystopia

I don't think it's ever going to get that extreme

[Cavernio]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

So what do we do with disabled when they utterly fail to meet society's expectations? Ignore them and let them die?

[devonin]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

Mature people work hard enough, have enough resources and have the generosity to be willing to provide for people who -want- to be able to contribute and can't.

Good thing we have mature people to set up and fund health care systems, and afford nurses and homecare workers.

If everybody just hung out and did what they wanted and didn't let "adults" "make" them be "mature" then the disabled WOULD just get ignored and die.

[Cavernio]

Re: Why is the Idea of Adults Expecting Others to be Mature so Irritating to Me?

So if I just -want- to contribute that's enough? Surely you see the problem with this; wanting to do something and not having the ability to do it results in mental anguish. You are constantly a failure and you know it and it will just feed a depression along with whatever disability the person has. This is neither helpful from an individual perspective or a societal one.

Ah, but unless you're obviously keenly wanting to be productive, you're labelled by others as selfish and lazy etc if whatever disability you have isn't obvious. Leave the catch 22. Maybe you're not just trying hard enough. Try again. Keeping failing. That helps, right? That's what one's supposed to do?