Why Men Aren't Really Men Anymore

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  • Cavernio
    sunshine and rainbows
    • Feb 2006
    • 1987

    #76
    Re: Why Men Aren't Really Men Anymore

    Yeah, I suppose 'falling in love' is the strongest of romantic feelings one can have, and I guess I didn't exactly define it very well. Perhaps that wasn't the best way to classify a romantic feeling for someone, as you may never go through life experiencing that even if you have the capacity to experience it.

    I dunno about asexuality...some people don't fall in love but love sex, others fall in love but don't like sex, but it seems both can then use the term asexual?

    I agree with pretty much most of what you've said too moches. Just because a man falls under a position of power within society, doesn't mean that he is more free to be himself if his self is, for instance, a soft-spoken, 'feminine' person.

    Off-topic: Sometimes I do wonder if it's actually good to break down gender-barriers though. Rather, not just gender barriers, but all socially defined roles. It feels like, somehow, we as a society must be missing out on something by focussing on breaking down the idea of fitting into a social defined role, when humanity seemingly spent thousands of years creating and recreating social roles for individuals to fill, when social roles seemingly must have some importance to humanity as a whole. I don't know what this would be, I don't really have any sort of logic to it. Surely society wouldn't break down if we all felt more free to be more natural to ourselves, and yet I feel that that seems more imminent if we break social roles. But that's ridiculous I know. And I truly DO believe that people should be more free to be themselves as I think it will make people happier to not have to struggle against a norm they don't fit into.

    If you're a man and you fit the stereotype of a macho man, or you want to be the type of man this guy was saying men should be, there's nothing wrong with that. It's wrong/off, however, to perceive that just because OTHER men aren't fitting into that category more and more, that your own self-identity is being challenged.

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    • Cavernio
      sunshine and rainbows
      • Feb 2006
      • 1987

      #77
      Re: Why Men Aren't Really Men Anymore

      Originally posted by devonin
      Hooray gender binary as applied to sexual preference!
      It specifically wasn't binary... Or are you talking about the idea that I'm using 'man' and 'woman' in strictly-defined terms?
      *sigh* You're right, I'm assuming choof identifies as a man...maybe choof's issue isn't that they don't know they're attracted to but is rather unsure of their own gender. Maybe choof has only ever been attracted to cross-dressers or individuals who choose to identify themselves as genderless. Perhaps choof has fallen for someone of unknown gender or choof thought their gender was opposite of what choof thought it was and now finds that they (choof) still maybe loves that individual upon finding out that their gender was not what they thought it was.

      Maybe choofers is too hung-up on identifying their sexual identity and my previous post was just confusing choofers more by trying to railroad choofer's sexual preferences into the vocabulary that we use which is wholly not large enough to encompass the vastness of possibility that we have for sexual and romantic feelings.

      Comment

      • qqwref
        stepmania archaeologist
        FFR Simfile Author
        • Aug 2005
        • 4092

        #78
        Re: Why Men Aren't Really Men Anymore

        It seems to me that non-binarily-gendered people are rare enough, and differ enough inside that group, that we don't need to bother labeling individual types of attractions to them. Everyone is going to have their own personal orientation (except those who are attracted to all or none of the group), and it's probably going to depend on the non-binary person's other aspects anyway - such as their personality - rather than on their precise gender identification.

        So, it'd be kinda like how we have words for people who specifically don't eat meat or can't eat dairy, but we don't bother having a word for people who like mozzarella and gruyere and swiss and american and goat's cheese, but not provolone or pepperjack or gouda.
        Best AAA: Policy In The Sky [Oni] (81)
        Best SDG: PANTS (86)
        Best FC: Future Invasion (93)

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        • devonin
          Very Grave Indeed
          Event Staff
          FFR Simfile Author
          • Apr 2004
          • 10120

          #79
          Re: Why Men Aren't Really Men Anymore

          Originally posted by Cavernio
          It specifically wasn't binary... Or are you talking about the idea that I'm using 'man' and 'woman' in strictly-defined terms?
          *sigh* You're right, I'm assuming choof identifies as a man...maybe choof's issue isn't that they don't know they're attracted to but is rather unsure of their own gender. Maybe choof has only ever been attracted to cross-dressers or individuals who choose to identify themselves as genderless. Perhaps choof has fallen for someone of unknown gender or choof thought their gender was opposite of what choof thought it was and now finds that they (choof) still maybe loves that individual upon finding out that their gender was not what they thought it was.

          Maybe choofers is too hung-up on identifying their sexual identity and my previous post was just confusing choofers more by trying to railroad choofer's sexual preferences into the vocabulary that we use which is wholly not large enough to encompass the vastness of possibility that we have for sexual and romantic feelings.
          I'm mostly referring to the statement that "if both, you are bi, if only one, you are probably gay or straight" except that that has always and will always be a very fluid scale.

          You've got your bisexuals, your homosexuals, your heterosexuals, and you've also got your heteroflexibles, your asexuals, your omnisexuals, your nonsexuals.

          A telling point though, is how my browser identified every single one of those as misspelled though.

          Comment

          • choof
            Banned
            FFR Simfile Author
            • Nov 2013
            • 8563

            #80
            Re: Why Men Aren't Really Men Anymore

            I think the thing is that I don't want to identify as bisexual because of the social stigmatism against it.

            I'm also not dating or actively seeking out relationships because I'm broke and... fat lmao.

            Comment

            • Nullifidian
              ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
              FFR Simfile Author
              • Sep 2007
              • 1837

              #81
              Re: Why Men Aren't Really Men Anymore

              It could serve as a good barometer on whether you want to hang out with that person or not lol. If they're opposed to the idea of you (or anyone for that matter) identifying as bisexual, then you'll likely not want to be friends with that person anyway.

              Comment

              • Pseudo Enigma
                ごめんなさい (/ω\)
                • Aug 2012
                • 2290

                #82
                Re: Why Men Aren't Really Men Anymore

                Originally posted by choof
                I'm also not dating or actively seeking out relationships because I'm broke and... fat lmao.
                choof can get anyone he wants. Well that's what I always thought anyway.
                Originally posted by _.Spitfire._
                It could serve as a good barometer on whether you want to hang out with that person or not lol.
                Oh so like an idiot test?

                Comment

                • devonin
                  Very Grave Indeed
                  Event Staff
                  FFR Simfile Author
                  • Apr 2004
                  • 10120

                  #83
                  Re: Why Men Aren't Really Men Anymore

                  The biggest stigma for bisexuals is if you're a bisexual woman who is currently dating a man. The LGBT community is shockingly dickish about that.

                  Comment

                  • Izzy
                    Snek
                    FFR Simfile Author
                    • Jan 2003
                    • 9195

                    #84
                    Re: Why Men Aren't Really Men Anymore

                    Originally posted by choof
                    I think the thing is that I don't want to identify as bisexual because of the social stigmatism against it.
                    In a way that is different than the typical dislike for homosexuals?

                    Comment

                    • adlp
                      FFR Veteran
                      • Jul 2006
                      • 1757

                      #85
                      Re: Why Men Aren't Really Men Anymore

                      Originally posted by choof
                      I think the thing is that I don't want to identify as bisexual because of the social stigmatism against it.

                      I'm also not dating or actively seeking out relationships because I'm broke and... fat lmao.
                      you're probs bi and living in a bigger city so its not as big of a stigmatism as your mind is making it be

                      Comment

                      • benguino
                        Kawaii Desu Ne?
                        • Dec 2007
                        • 4190

                        #86
                        Re: Why Men Aren't Really Men Anymore

                        Originally posted by choof
                        I think the thing is that I don't want to identify as bisexual because of the social stigmatism against it.

                        I'm also not dating or actively seeking out relationships because I'm broke and... fat lmao.
                        idk...that seems almost the same as someone trying to not identify as [insert ethnicity/race here] because they don't want to be associated with all the stereotypes that come with it.
                        AMA: http://ask.fm/benguino


                        Originally posted by Spenner
                        (^)> peck peck says the heels
                        Originally posted by Xx{Midnight}xX
                        And god made ben, and realized he was doomed to miss. And said it was good.
                        Originally posted by Zakvvv666
                        awww :< crushing my dreams; was looking foward to you attempting to shoot yourself point blank and missing

                        Comment

                        • L.B.D.D
                          FFR Player
                          • Aug 2013
                          • 2949

                          #87
                          Re: Why Men Aren't Really Men Anymore

                          rels

                          Comment

                          • benguino
                            Kawaii Desu Ne?
                            • Dec 2007
                            • 4190

                            #88
                            Re: Why Men Aren't Really Men Anymore

                            Which brings up the point when it comes to transexuals and such. You here of these "women who are trapped in a man's body" (or vice versa) but perhaps it is moreso "people who are trapped in the body of a gender that has socially constructed gender roles that conflicts with their own." Sometimes I wonder, if gender roles and norms didn't exist anymore, would there be a significant drop in the demand for sexual reassignment?
                            AMA: http://ask.fm/benguino


                            Originally posted by Spenner
                            (^)> peck peck says the heels
                            Originally posted by Xx{Midnight}xX
                            And god made ben, and realized he was doomed to miss. And said it was good.
                            Originally posted by Zakvvv666
                            awww :< crushing my dreams; was looking foward to you attempting to shoot yourself point blank and missing

                            Comment

                            • devonin
                              Very Grave Indeed
                              Event Staff
                              FFR Simfile Author
                              • Apr 2004
                              • 10120

                              #89
                              Re: Why Men Aren't Really Men Anymore

                              I think if gender roles and norms didn't exist anymore that there would be a massive upswing in the demand for sexual reassignment, because many trans people would no longer feel constrained from birth to try and ignore or sublimate what they already feel about the inappropriateness of their sex as compared to their gender.

                              Comment

                              • choof
                                Banned
                                FFR Simfile Author
                                • Nov 2013
                                • 8563

                                #90
                                Re: Why Men Aren't Really Men Anymore

                                Originally posted by Izzy
                                In a way that is different than the typical dislike for homosexuals?
                                it's "slutty"

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