what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

[beaner692]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

early age dating is an excuse for kissing and such, but theres nothing wrong with that

I wouldn't say your gonna marry someone you went out with in 6th grade though

[Cenright]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

First Devonin, looking at even your first two post here, you make younger dating sound like a bad idea. I do agree with greek, that someone who starts down that road at such an early age is bound to deal with more trouble than is needed. You speak of being immature as a kid, but in many ways, since your world grows so large in your teenage years, you maturity hasn't grown enough to meet the demand.

As Guido said, for most people it IS only practice for later in life, yet that practice is based on how you would do things as a teenager, not as an adult, so really, much of that so-called 'practice' is going in the wrong direction. You become an adult, and only then do you see your mistakes so clearly, even though as a teen, you wouldn't have thought of those actions as such.

A teenager has hormones to understand first. One shouldn't add dating as an extra problem on their plate, especially since the main reason for dating, finding a spouse, doesn't even cross their mind. They are playing the game, even though they threw out the reason for the game.

[devonin]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

First Devonin, looking at even your first two post here, you make younger dating sound like a bad idea. I do agree with greek, that someone who starts down that road at such an early age is bound to deal with more trouble than is needed. You speak of being immature as a kid, but in many ways, since your world grows so large in your teenage years, you maturity hasn't grown enough to meet the demand.

I'm not really sure how "I started young, and turned out fine, even if in retrospect I see how immature yougn relationships were" is necessarily a condemnation of the concept. Perhaps you could point more specifically to things I said that suggested that to you?

teenager has hormones to understand first. One shouldn't add dating as an extra problem on their plate, especially since the main reason for dating, finding a spouse, doesn't even cross their mind. They are playing the game, even though they threw out the reason for the game.

I think many people would disagree, teens and adults alike, that the main reason for dating is to find a spouse. For many people, the main reason for dating is because humans enjoy romantic and intimate interaction with other humans. While there certainly is a "dating is for marriage" contingent in the world, just like there is a "sex is for procreation" contingent in the world, I think it is inaccurate to suggest that for even a majority of people, the main focus for dating is to find a spouse.

[AquaTeen]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

I feel personally that dating at the teenage years is OK as long as things are mutual. If things aren't mutual and it's like one person is contributing to the relationship, odds are things will be that way in the future. I feel it's better off to date in like college or as an adult because things will be better and there is a better variety of men/ women so you have a better chance of finding the one that you'll possibly spend forever with. Teenage relationships are over rated. During your teenage years you don't know what you want and you don't know what love is but as you mature things will change. Plus, in your teenage years your relationships possibly won't last forever but in college or as an adult, odds of your relationship leading to marriage is a lot higher.

[devonin]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

You say that like any relationship that is perhaps not even -intended- to "end in marriage" or "last forever" is a bad thing.

[fido123]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

I see a lot of people who date just for the attention or popularity they receive from it, however I don't think everybody is like this. I personally look for a relationship that is intended to last forever, otherwise I just see myself getting hurt later on and it being generally a waste of time. Although the chances are slim that every relationship you get into will be one you'll have forever, you'll never find that one person unless you try. I honestly don't really even care that much about sex as I feel it's incomparable to the actual love for a person, but sex is what 99% of people my age are looking for, especially of my orientation. So in short, there are some people I feel like are ready for dating, but most aren't but you'll never even get that experience unless you play the field a little right? Just make sure it doesn't screw up your life.

[devonin]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

But what if your explicit intention in dating in your younger years is simply for companionship and/or physical intimacy. If both people feel the same way, is there anything 'wrong' with that? I think if you ask most freshmen or sophomores that are dating whether they have ANY intention of marrying their partner, the overwhelming majority would say no. (Or at least, would say no out of earshot of their partner)

Dating when you're younger is done for its own sake.

[fido123]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

But what if your explicit intention in dating in your younger years is simply for companionship and/or physical intimacy. If both people feel the same way, is there anything 'wrong' with that? I think if you ask most freshmen or sophomores that are dating whether they have ANY intention of marrying their partner, the overwhelming majority would say no. (Or at least, would say no out of earshot of their partner)

Dating when you're younger is done for its own sake.

I don't think anything is wrong with it, however my own morals say otherwise but that's not the same set of morals everybody shares. I just personally feel physical intimacy would for one be more enjoyable if the both loved each other, and doesn't degrade it for when you do decide to have it with somebody you love. Then again I'm a virgin so I don't have much ground to talk.

[Lipidman]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

I feel incredibly sad for the emotional growth of people who have no romantic relationships until they are 18. They are going to be stunted in arguably the most important method of emotional growth to live a good and fulfilling life.

Don't feel sad for us. Our emtional growth is not sustained via only one source. Said one source is also not as detrimental to our life as you seem to exaggerate.

/late response

[devonin]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

You'll note that I said arguably, and not, say, proven. I think that you can make a -very- good argument that romantic relationships are among the most significant emotional bonds that people make, and that learning what you have to give and what you need from a relationship in highschool, where the expectation is that your relationships will be largely transient or short-lived, and the consequences are much less dire, does a lot to prepare you for more long-term commitments in the future.

/late response

Only 16 months, no big.

[Necros140606]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

in contrast with this thread's shared opinion, i would like to point out that there's an extremely high chance of dating being just a social implication of the istinct of reproduction. i glanced through this without finding some good argument over the matter so i might as well do it myself (i'm not as fluent as other people in here though).

let's start from the beginning.



childhood.

due to the extremely high confomism and selfishness of small children, a relationship in these years is not possibile. dating would barely mean a desire of playing with the other from both parts, and, in rare occasions, the curiosity of discovering the diverse. it is widely known that in the late childhood childrens may experience the first unintended sexual approachs, in realizing the difference between male and female, and possibly exchange impressions and even showing each other their genitals. that's about it for childhood. -note that this is in important step, and the children who have been kept away from the other sex because of puritan views will be less mature than the average early teen (wich is still very immature) and more likely to develop sexist views and behaviours.



the early teens:

puberty plays a huge role in this step. due to the development of secondary sexual charachters, such as facial hair, voice change, or breasts, kids in this age will start to get interested in each other. we could say that, from a purely biological standpoint, this means both parts are ready to reproduce. it is obviously not possible from a social perspective, but istincts will not listen to such restrictions. hormones will start to flow in the kids' bodies, and the neural message they carry is short and simple: reproduction.

now let me say that in the early teens we're still having the transition from the "girls suck" behaviour to the interest in the opposite sex. therefore, the ones who had shared childhood sexual experiences will be more open for what's to come.

as you all know, the period going from 11 to 14, more or less, is the base for building a relationship. as almost anyone else said, it's practice. but not only that. it's a way to feel apreciated, therefore relationships will grow your self esteem. it's a way to deal with the different, and this has the upside of opening your mind, keeping you from developing antisocial and xenophobe/sexist positions (note that they could be developed from many other situations, so consider the relationship a part of the many influences). and do not forget that the primary reason why people this age date is sex. most people don't do it the first time in this phase just because the adolescence stimuli are filtered by our culture, education, and personal history. it's generally considered bad for kids to have sex, because we say it's immature, they are not ready and so on. keep in mind that they actually ARE ready to the act itself, but they are not to all the social constructs we have posed alongside sex. defining them as good or bad is not my business.




the late teens.

many of us have had (or will have) their first complete sexual intercourse during this phase. i personally had my first at 15. unfortunately, there are still ones who missed both childhood and early teens chances to practice and understand the love relathionship, for various reasons. these perople will be in a position of disadvantage and will have to make up for the time they've lost. most of the (unwanted) pregnancy cases are in this phase, most likely because of lack of education but also experience. there isn't much to say about the late teens actually, so i'll make it short. considering the whole progress from childhood to the adult age, it is advised you proceeed through all steps in order to gain a better understanding of the others, of yourself, of the relationships and about your personal concept of love. not only: it is very important that you are supported by family, and secondarily by friends. sexuality and relationships in general have their rules, which can be taught like anything else. learning tem yourself is also effective, but much more difficult and much more risky.

in conclusion, to the ones who don't support the dating (and, i deduce, the contact between opposite sexes till a certain age): think through the consequences of your standopints before making such bold statements. the cure might be worse than the injury.



ps: i just checked the dates, oh well

[Soulmelter]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

I have a few opposing opinions on this...

First off, about the young children "dating", I don't see that as possible nor anything more than completely rare. So I'm not going to say anything on that.

For early teens mostly I get the feeling that those kids "date" because they find it necessary. So many people say, oh no I don't have a boyfriend, oh I really want a chick, oh no I'm behind everyone else! So I think that's pretty ridiculous, especially when those poor kids get a "boyfriend/girlfriend", it lasts a day and everyone claims "love" is in the air, they break up and end up being "heartbroken" for a week, then lather rinse repeat. I'm 13 years old and I've never had a "boyfriend" (although I've been asked... /: lots) and I don't intend to until much later on when it actually makes sense.

But in a way, it can be decent I suppose for exploratory purposes. To see what the opposite sex is like, to introduce oneself to the simple thought of a commitment. This is one of those situations where most touch the flame numerous times before realizing that it burns. But that's how we learn, right?

All right, now as far as late teens, that's a bit different (in my opinion). I've noticed that it's either all about sex or puppy/young love. As far as sex, that age kids' hormones are RAGING, and all too often it happens that either the girl gets raped, or gets told "if you love me, you'll have sex with me" and she ends up hating herself for the rest of her life for it. I'm not saying it's all like this, but it happens enough that it really does make me upset. And then there are those that get pregnant. Maybe they were smart and used protection, maybe they were caught up in the moment and didn't, maybe they just thought it wasn't necessary. I see all of those on the same level, because no matter what, that poor teenage girl does NOT deserve to go through something as difficult as that.

So on this topic, I think that late teens dating can be beneficial as long as they can be smart and responsible about sex. Or just wait until later, doesn't make a difference to me. Now about young love. That can truly be adorable, when it's meant. And when it isn't forced. At that age, so much is going on in a teen's head, and to have that special person to... look to is just amazing. As long as it isn't blown up too much, and they both realize the possibility that it could end, and they are prepared to be able to live on with that. One thing that really drives me mad is when these types of couples claim they will be together forever and ever, because you just can't make a promise like that. And then something unexpected happens, poor souls.

So based on MAJORITY, I guess you could say I'm against teens dating. Not really
against it, but it's definitely not my thing. And I'm tired of being around people who get all upset over it. But that's not to say it's all bad, because sometimes it does work out. And I think that is pure amazing fate (:

[f2ppure]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

I personally just think teenage/children dating is for experience. I'm against sexual relationships at this age. I just feel it's okay to have someone there you care about more than the average and always enjoy hanging out with. Dating as a child or teenager shouldn't be really serious and should be thought of as emotional experience; not at all sexual.

[tha Guardians]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

I don't know if this has already been posted, but:

No matter what age you are, more than likely you feel you have to present yourself and be validated by your peers. What better way to do this than dating? You get to try to understand what it takes to make a relationship and hold on to one, while at the same time gaining a close partner that you hopefully can't trust and depend on. If not, then it is up to you to learn to expect better for yourself. Better to start this early on than to jump in the game late and feel pressure to make a relationship last, due to fear of spending your life alone.

We, as a species, need companionship, regardless of age. It's a blessing and a hindrance.

Please do not use this post to oversimplify the original question, but use it as a clue to the riddle.

Sorry for the late post, everyone.

[Megamanmaniac]

Re: what is your opinion of teenage/children dating

There are certain teens that can handle a relationship the right way and some who cant. Some teens are wanting a relationship for the wrong reason and i believe that you should date at a young age becuase you have your parents that can help you out and talk to you about dating and relationships and such. But not all parents are right about relationships either. Like an example a divorced parent. I believe that teens can date as long as they follow some certain rules like letting the parents know where they are going, what they will be doing, who will be there, when it starts and ends, etc. Maybe even have the parents come along on the first couple dates. Thats my opinion and you can agree or disagree if you want. There are hundreds of opinios out there.