Post your best joke

[lightdarkness]

L M A O

That was funny moogy.

[jewpinthethird]

I got a good joke.

According to Mapquest, LD is a nerd.

WRROFLES!

[teh-blinky]

It's back in the 1800's and a mine owner is hiring new workers. A German steps up and says, "I can pick gold faster than any man alive."
The owner hires him on the spot.

A Russian wanders up and says, "I can load gold faster than any man alive."
The owner can't believe his good fortune and hires this man too.

A Chinese man walks up and asks for a job.
The owner is so elated about hiring the other two men he says, "Well, if these other two men work as
good as they say I won't need any more help, but I'll put you in charge of supplies."

The next day the owner goes and checks on his new workers, and sure enough, the German is picking gold at an unbelievable rate.

The Russian is loading it as fast as the other workers can haul it out.

He looks around and can't find the Chinese man anywhere.

He begins to walk around the mine to find him and just as he rounds a dark corner the Asian jumps out from behind a rock and yells, "SUPPLIES!"

---

Two guys are walking down a road when they come across a deep hole beside it. Being curious, they go over and check it out. When they look down, they are surprised to find they can't see the bottom. So they drop a couple of rocks down the hole and listen... Nothing. One of them says, "Man, that's a deep hole!"
Thinking they might hear something larger hit the bottom, they find a big, old cinder block and pitch it over the side. The pause and listen intently... They hear a sound, but it is coming from behind them! They quickly turn around to see a goat bearing down on them with it head lowered, flying along, its feet barely touching the ground, its moving so fast!
The two men dive out of its way just in time and the goat plunges past them, into the seemingly bottomless hole, to its doom. The two look at each other and say, "Boy that was close! We'd better get away from this thing before we end up with the goat!".
So they continue on their way down the road until they happen across this farmer working near it. The men again put their heads together and figure that the goat belongs to the farmer and the decide to tell him what happened.

"Hey Mr. Farmer. Do you happen to own a goat?", one of the men asked.
The farmer replies, "Yeah, why do you ask?"
The men then tell what happened at the hole and how they narrowly avoided death in the hole from the speeding goat.
The farmer said, "Well boys, I don't think that was my goat. You see, my goat is really old and crippled up with arthritis. There is no way he could have been moving that fast. Besides, I have him tied to a big, old cinder block."

[Rairaku]

DUDE, LLOLOLOWTFROFLLF

[lightdarkness]

Your mom.

LOL

[Rairaku]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^PWNED^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

[Tsuguri]

So this white guy walks into a hotel to use the bathroom. He walks into the bathroom and there's a black hotel employee using one of the urinals. The guy REALLY has to go, and I mean like squirting-out-the-ears-type has to go, so he runs to the nearest stal, which happens to be the one next the black hotel employee. While he's doin' his business, he get's to thinking: he's heard the rumors about black men, and wonders if it's true. He's doing his darnedest not to look but he can't help himself..

"HOLY SHIT! LOOK AT THAT THING!" he blurts, "My god dude, that's incredible, you must be like, magical or something, to have one like that. Hey, hey, can you tell ME how to get mine like that?!"

The hotel employee stares blankly at the guy thinking to himself, "What the hell? This white boy CAN'T be serious...can he?"

So the employee decides to have a little fun and tells the man, "Uh, ok..aright, that's good...first you gotta find a rock. Then you tie a string around it. Then tie the other end to your wang and hang the rock down your pants leg for a week."

The white guy can't believe it, "No foolin'? Awesome! Thanks a ton man! I'm gonna go do that right now!" he yells as he washes his hands and bolts out the door.

So, a week goes by, and the hotel employee forgets about the guy. Until one day, he comes sprinting into the hotel, and up to the front desk.

"It worked! It worked! It freakin' worked man! God, thanks alot bro!" he shouts.

The employee can't believe it, "No way, you're kidding right? You're telling me, that you tied a string around a rock, and hung the other end from your dick for a week, and it made it longer?!"

"No," the white guy said, dropping his drawers, "But it made it black just like yours."