Ten Gallon Rap

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  • mead1
    Cerebellumberjack
    FFR Simfile Author
    • Aug 2003
    • 3960

    #1

    Ten Gallon Rap

    Cowboy rap motherfucker six shooter at my side
    got my spurs dug deep in my honky-tonk ride
    yo we ride all day and we drink all night
    eatin chili singing songs by the motherfucking fire light

    smokin' cigs shootin bitches who aint know that I'm the law
    what? you thought that I was queer like in that flick you saw
    Nah man fuck that I like my bitches in heels
    with a big fucking ass and some bigger fucking wagon wheels
    The bitches want my barrel and they suck it till I shoot
    then they all wanna cuddle but I give em the fucking the cowboy boot

    Cowboy rap motherfucker got the badge in my hand
    all the motherfucking deputies obey my command
    the whole world's in fucking love with my looks and my wit
    I'm like barack obama cept I'll shoot up your shit

    some ho comes to my camp and she's cryin and shit
    I motion to my lap and I tell that bitch to sit
    said some bitches stole her diamonds and are headed out west
    said she whined and she whined till she heard I was the fucking best
    says she aint got nothin, and I says it's ok
    I say we can work out some other way for you to pay
    I smile and I nod and I tell you folks that
    that bitch got an ass like a ten gallon hat

    Cowboy rap motherfucker we ride straight into the night
    after shit settles down after a quick ass fight
    Sometimes I want to chill out maybe stay for a week
    but then I'm like naw man I'd lose my fucking mystique
    --

    This was just too good to confine to ffya.
  • All_That_Chaz
    Supreme Dictator For Life
    • Apr 2004
    • 5874

    #2
    Re: Ten Gallon Rap

    This is the single greatest post in the history of lit.

    I think I'd need to hear it performed before really giving it any sort of criticism because I feel like any incongruities I hear might be ironed out hearing someone really perform it. This is original, hilarious, and should be making you gratuitous amounts of money.
    Back to "Back to Earth"
    Originally posted by FoJaR
    dammit chaz
    Originally posted by FoJaR
    god dammit chaz
    Originally posted by MalReynolds
    I bet when you live in a glass house, the temptation to throw stones is magnified strictly because you're not supposed to.

    Comment

    • tofurox
      Them arrows.
      • May 2006
      • 2263

      #3
      Re: Ten Gallon Rap

      EPIC.

      This sig has been enhanced by the FFR Staff for being too large. Thank you for participating.

      Comment

      • lord_carbo
        FFR Player
        • Dec 2004
        • 6222

        #4
        Re: Ten Gallon Rap

        best ever
        last.fm

        Comment

        • MalReynolds
          CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS
          • Sep 2003
          • 6571

          #5
          Re: Ten Gallon Rap

          Yes.
          "A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline."

          "Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor


          My new novel:

          Maledictions: The Offering.

          Now in Paperback!

          Comment

          • -paexaea-
            ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
            • Apr 2007
            • 4610

            #6
            Re: Ten Gallon Rap

            i love you
            See you, Space Cowboy.

            Comment

            • Adamaja456
              Absurd
              • Dec 2006
              • 6433

              #7
              Re: Ten Gallon Rap

              "some ho comes to my camp and she's cryin and shlt
              I motion to my lap and I tell that bitch to sit"

              haha my favorite line. this rap is pure win


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              Comment

              • jchinzilla
                i like cheese
                • Dec 2005
                • 2106

                #8
                Re: Ten Gallon Rap

                so gon' spit dis ova a beat??

                Comment

                • mead1
                  Cerebellumberjack
                  FFR Simfile Author
                  • Aug 2003
                  • 3960

                  #9
                  Re: Ten Gallon Rap

                  Originally posted by jchinzilla
                  so gon' spit dis ova a beat??
                  The built in microphone on this computer is too ****ty to do it justice.

                  Comment

                  • bender5
                    The 40% Iron Chef
                    • Jan 2005
                    • 4894

                    #10
                    Re: Ten Gallon Rap

                    fucking amazing

                    Comment

                    • adlp
                      FFR Veteran
                      • Jul 2006
                      • 1757

                      #11
                      Re: Ten Gallon Rap

                      pretty c00l

                      Comment

                      • dean_machine
                        FFR Veteran
                        • Oct 2006
                        • 1267

                        #12
                        Re: Ten Gallon Rap

                        I wish it stayed in ffya

                        Comment

                        • Pew~
                          Banned
                          • Apr 2009
                          • 14

                          #13
                          Re: Ten Gallon Rap

                          it was pretty alright

                          Comment

                          • qqwref
                            stepmania archaeologist
                            FFR Simfile Author
                            • Aug 2005
                            • 4092

                            #14
                            Re: Ten Gallon Rap

                            Totally epic. And it would be doubly so if you were to find a good mic and actually perform the rap. Someone step this and put it on FFR.
                            Best AAA: Policy In The Sky [Oni] (81)
                            Best SDG: PANTS (86)
                            Best FC: Future Invasion (93)

                            Comment

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