Insanely Blissful

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  • Phobia87
    FFR Player
    • Jul 2007
    • 16

    #1

    Insanely Blissful

    Ok, so I'm not that great at writing poetry. I don't really spend time keeping the five iambic feet of the sonnet, but I'll work on that on my next one.
    I've wrote alot of poems, each getting closer and closer to a true sonnet, so I hope to be writing more fluently soon

    Anyways, here it is...
    ---------------------------------------------------

    Withdrawing the knife, I smile with content.
    Oh yes, such a feeling of ecstasy.
    Blood trickling, I truly love this scent,
    Is as lovely as the body next to me.

    Kneeling down to kiss a precious pink lip,
    Looking into those lifeless hazel eyes,
    Cupped hands filled with crimson, take a sip,
    Brings the feeling of flying in the skies.

    Such satisfaction does killing bring me,
    To send another soul to the dead's land.
    Watching as they die, such a sight to see,
    One would have to witness it first hand.

    "I am," Speaking slowly and give a nod;
    One last sadistic grin and finish, "God".
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Last edited by Phobia87; 03-2-2009, 11:47 PM.
  • funmonkey54
    The Chill Keeper
    • Oct 2007
    • 4127

    #2
    Re: Insanely Blissful

    From the sounds of it your going to hell.

    No, but seriously.

    Lyricly speaking: A+
    Entertainingly speaking: A
    Creepily speaking: A+

    Comment

    • Phobia87
      FFR Player
      • Jul 2007
      • 16

      #3
      Re: Insanely Blissful

      Haha, don't take it seriously. I just like to take things in a different direction

      Comment

      • nois-or-e
        SponCon Aficionado
        FFR Simfile Author
        • Mar 2007
        • 3250

        #4
        Re: Insanely Blissful

        However so, funmonkey is on the money. A+, A, A+....
        but by the sounds of it, you are probably still going to hell, lol

        Interesting writings, I look forward to reading the finished piece.

        Comment

        • Verruckter
          FFR Player
          • Apr 2004
          • 2707

          #5
          Re: Insanely Blissful

          It didn't make me feel anything.

          Sorry.
          Truth lies in loneliness, When hope is long gone by -Blind Guardian, The Soulforged
          Image removed for size violation.

          Comment

          • Phobia87
            FFR Player
            • Jul 2007
            • 16

            #6
            Re: Insanely Blissful

            Then maybe you're just as twisted as me.

            Thanks for the comments ^^

            EDIT: and I just noticed that white text, so wrong xD
            Last edited by Phobia87; 03-2-2009, 08:31 PM.

            Comment

            • dore
              caveman pornstar
              FFR Simfile Author
              FFR Music Producer
              • Feb 2006
              • 6317

              #7
              Re: Insanely Blissful

              as I say in every poetry thread

              line breaks =/= punctuation

              use punctuation

              it gives your thoughts structure

              which is the whole point of poetry
              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IREnpHco9mw

              Comment

              • Phobia87
                FFR Player
                • Jul 2007
                • 16

                #8
                Re: Insanely Blissful

                Edited just for you dore

                Comment

                • kitkat9
                  FFR Player
                  • Feb 2009
                  • 87

                  #9
                  Re: Insanely Blissful

                  Yes, I see that this is from a long time ago, but truthfully I really didn't feel a whole lot. I do like what you are trying to do with murder. It puts in a twist, most poetry i've seen is from the eyes of a victim.

                  One thing I would suggest is getting that man to therapy. =D

                  Comment

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