About making own lyrics

Re: About making own lyrics

Needs to be longer, as well as slightly more rhythmic or meaningful.
If you don't want an obvious beat or feel to it and want more of a free form flow, just focus on meaning. Neither of those gives me any feelings or anything. It doesn't stand out to me. Make it do that.


EXAMPLE:

Lock eyes from across the room
Down my drink while the rhythms boom
Take your hand and skip the names
No need here for the silly games
Make our way through the smoke and crowd
The club is the sky and I'm on your cloud
Move in close as the lasers fly
Our bodies touch and the angels cry
Leave this place go back to yours
Our lips first touch outside your doors
A whole night what we've got in store
Whisper in my ear that you want some more
And I

Jizz in my pants

This really never happens you can take my word
I won't apologize, that's just absurd
Mainly your fault from the way that you dance
And now I

Jizz in my pants

Don't tell your friends or I'll say you're a slut
Plus it's your fault, you were rubbing my butt
I'm very sensitive, some would say that's a plus

Now I'll go home and change

I need a few things from the grocery
Do things alone now mostly
Left me heart broken not lookin' for love
Surprised in my eyes when I looked above
The check-out counter and I saw her face
My heart stood still so did time and space
Never felt that I could feel real again
But the look in her eyes said I need a friend
She turned to me, that's when she said it
Looked me dead in the face, asked "cash or credit"
And I

Jizzed in my pants

It's perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me
But we're going to need a clean up on aisle 3
And now I'm posed in an awkward stance because I

Jizzed in my pants

To be fair you were flirting a lot
Plus the way you bag cans got me bothered and hot
[ The Lonely Island Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
Please stop acting like you're not impressed
One more thing, I'm gonna pay by check

Last week - I saw a film
As I recall it was a horror film
Walked outside into the rain
Checked my phone and saw you rang and I

Jizzed in my pants

Speeding down the street when the red lights flash
Need to get away need to make a dash
A song comes on that reminds me of you and I

Jizz in my pants

The next day my alarm goes off and I

Jizz in my pants

Open my window and a breeze rolls in and I

Jizz in my pants

When bruce willis was dead at the end of sixth sense I

Jizzed in my pants

I just ate a grape and I

Jizzed... in... my pants

Jizzed... in... my pants

Ok seriously you guys can we... ok...

I jizz right in my pants every time you're next to me
And when we're holding hands it's like having sex with me
You say I'm premature I just call it ecstasy
I wear a rubber at all times it's a necessity

Cuz I

Jizz... in... my pants

(I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants
yes I jizz in my pants, yes I jizz in my pants)
Yes I jizz... in... my pants
(I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants)

Re: About making own lyrics

I was going to try and fix them, but like funmonkey said, i can't find the meaning behind your songs. Maybe fixate on one meaning. try making it less like a poem and more like a story. thats how i would start.

Re: About making own lyrics

I agree with making it longer with adding a meaning.

With that being said i attempted to take your song and give it one (hopefully it helps you develop one.)

Please pardon me if it drives from what you had intended, or if you think I killed it.

Wasting my hate at you

Everything I got,
Gets me so depressed,
Still I have something to keep
The way I feel hidden from you.

Give me back what you'll steal.
This prized gift of roses,
For you never really care do you?
About me or my heart.
I feel as if I'm wasting my love on you.

I can't hurt you now
Or is it my dream,
To take blessing from god,
And use it on you?

(This blessing of hatred, it runs through me.)

That prized gift of a rose,
You don't really care do you?
About me or my love
I feel as if I'm wasting my time on you,
But yet I'm wasting my love too.

I waste my hate at you now,
Something I really don't see,
I can't I feel what this nonsense gives me,
Headache and my tears fall again
(FOR YOU.)

Was it you who took my only chance
To be something?
What I wanted to be,
Give it back to me!
(NOW)

Give me back what you stole.
That prized gift of roses,
(I had hoped that the more I gave,)
For you never really cared did you?
(The more you would notice...)
About me or my heart.
(That even though,)
Give me back what you stole.
I feel as if I'm wasting my hate on you,
(You seemed not to care,)
But yet I wasted my love too.
(I wanted you to show me you really did.)

Re: About making own lyrics

Length, meter, and style have nothing to do with what makes a song's lyrics good. It's sincerity. If you decorate a hollow core of a song with flowery prose, it will sound like a crappy overstated song. Write however long or short you want - but keep it honest.

The way I start out with a song is I think in music. I absorb a bunch of feelings, and the words just sort of spill out.

Re: About making own lyrics

This is how I write my stories.

If you want a fun song, take how I write my children's poetry. Think of 2 funny words that rhyme, find a third one and combine it to make a funny little story. Then elaborate in rhyme.

Re: About making own lyrics

I also write in the same manner. :P

I have this weird habit of absorbing textures. Anytime I'm in a room, I mentally feel every texture, and absorb the emotional and physical colors of the room. I translate that into text, and that's what makes my stories.

Re: About making own lyrics

what

No, dude. No.

Length isn't important and style can be dropped, but rhythm and meter are very important. How you could call words without rhythm or meter "lyrical" is entirely beyond me.

Re: About making own lyrics


I think that was quite good, and no, you didn't kill these. they were dead already.

Re: About making own lyrics

i like writing love poetry >_>

write lyrics that are meaningful. my biggest pet peeve is hearing a song with bull**** lyrics.

Re: About making own lyrics

if you could tell us what yoy want to say in these songs im sure more people could help.