The American Condition

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  • Specforces
    Yes
    • Jan 2004
    • 5028

    #1

    The American Condition

    With this visceral consciousness, my deviant action is permissible
    These awakened eyes, perceiving colors and truths once invisible
    One prison under warden, indivisible, the aims? malevolent and hypocritical
    Literal criminal, third story acrobat with skilled swift hand
    In and out, invading land, skewed intentions spread, and draining metaphysical

    Cyanide in the ice cream? Nah. Didn’t the FDA approve?
    Keep quiet, it’s no myth, here’s some truth, it’ll soothe
    Worried hmm? Hear that song? Nothing wrong
    Take this test, it says yes, join this group, you belong

    Only if it were so easy, can’t close both, even one
    What’s trust against a record? What’s done can’t be undone
    She cheated on you once, the thrice you know of not
    So brazen with your trust, as if he’s never caught
    Uncaring of your being, and obsessed with what you’ve bought

    Still, too much distrust is unnatural, even against an agenda-ridden whore
    Repainting works, renaming them factual, reselling them in stores
    Inflating the importance of paper, take a seat. Here, have some war
    Take these pills; kill that feel, that’s what they’re there for
    Ichthyoidal Sapiens, hooked and reeled, so drawn to this lure
    Did I mention that those capsules are twenty dollars more?

    Don’t feel stupid, it’s ok, professional is your foe
    Trained for ages, roots manipulative, can mold what you know
    The only protection is knowledge, and that’s limited too
    Or so you might be thinking, and soon shall see what’s true
    Unless a drug named money, consumed the whole of you.
    Last edited by Specforces; 12-28-2008, 07:11 AM.
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  • Tater Tot
    FFR Player
    • Aug 2007
    • 582

    #2
    Re: The American Condition

    *finger snaps*
    I liked it, even though I feel some things went over my head.

    Edit: I read it again, I think I get it all now.
    Last edited by Tater Tot; 12-28-2008, 09:51 AM.


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    • Specforces
      Yes
      • Jan 2004
      • 5028

      #3
      Re: The American Condition

      Also, I didn't really care too much about grammar or structure because in essence this is supposed to be more of a spoken word/poetry slam kind of thing.
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      • funmonkey54
        The Chill Keeper
        • Oct 2007
        • 4127

        #4
        Re: The American Condition

        Originally posted by Specforces
        Also, I didn't really care too much about grammar or structure because in essence this is supposed to be more of a spoken word/poetry slam kind of thing.
        I noticed this myself.

        I very much enjoyed this. The sort of open-ended form gave it a feel of power and boldness, but the rhyme gave it a rhythm to follow. The meaning was there and apparent. Very, very well done. I am impressed.

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