Eliot Spitzer

This is just a fun little poem for an assignment last year in AP English, we had to rewrite the To be or not to be speech within a modern context, and it was right around when the Eliot Spitzer scandal came out so I thought it would be fun. Enjoy


To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Should I remove myself from this cruel world now
Or should I keep on? My political life is ruined,
My marriage equally so, and it would be
Foolish to try to return to office.
The people of New York have abandoned me
(And so have my ladyfriends, Client Nine
Will no longer grace their beautiful sight);
As such, life is no longer worth living.
I can attempt to rebuild, but my wife,
No matter what she says, will never
Look at me in the same way again.
Foolish mistakes I've most certainly made--
I am paying and will continue to pay--
But I am confident that my family
Will do their best to move past my sin.
But is not the easiest reversal
Also not the quickest? Time-- Time!
Time heals all wounds; should I not provide
The quickest road to recov'ry that I can?
Would not my immediate removal
From this cruel sphere also be the best for them?
Aye, that is the dilemma that presses
Through my miserable mind.

--Eliot Spitzer