Two Poems - Silence and Religion

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  • dore
    caveman pornstar
    FFR Simfile Author
    FFR Music Producer
    • Feb 2006
    • 6317

    #1

    Two Poems - Silence and Religion

    SCIENCE

    Mother Nature.

    She lies in bed with her legs spread,
    Her feet tied with abrasive ropes.
    Man approaches her with intent of Progress;
    Ejaculating his developments
    Into Her unfeeling womb.

    She gives birth to a hybrid--
    A being whose natural laws
    Are defined through humanity--
    But this debauchery defiles Wonder
    And through the propagation of humanity
    Destroys what gives life purpose.

    RELIGION

    I believe in a god.
    I believe in One God.
    I reject the existence of other gods.
    I reject anything proposed against my God.
    I speak the truth.
    WE speak the truth.
    We reject anything proposed against our God.
    There cannot be any disproof.
    THERE IS NO DISPROOF!
    I reject anything proposed against my God.
    (Your logic?)
    I REJECT ANYTHING PROPOSED AGAINST MY GOD!
    I REJECT ANYTHING PROPOSED AGAINST MY GOD!
    I REJECT ANYTHING PROPOSED AGAINST MY GOD!
    I REJECT ANYTHING PROPOSED AGAINST MY GOD!
    (Your logic.)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IREnpHco9mw
  • dore
    caveman pornstar
    FFR Simfile Author
    FFR Music Producer
    • Feb 2006
    • 6317

    #2
    Re: Two Poems - Silence and Religion

    I got the idea for these after a discussion (/argument?) in one of my classes... usually I spend more time with my poems but I feel it's ready. I am more speaking about popular religion/science than religion/science in general. Tell me what you think.

    EDIT just realized that I titled the thread wrong, it's supposed to be science... oops.
    Last edited by dore; 10-27-2008, 05:43 PM.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IREnpHco9mw

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    • Tokzic
      FFR Player
      • May 2005
      • 6878

      #3
      Re: Two Poems - Silence and Religion

      Science was a good read. I like the whole concept of raping Nature - interesting take.

      The Religion one was absolutely powerless and just came across to me like a bitter atheist with a sock puppet and a childish vendetta.

      note: i'm actually an atheist so don't pass this off as bias

      Last edited by Tokzic: Today at 11:59 PM. Reason: wait what

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      • dore
        caveman pornstar
        FFR Simfile Author
        FFR Music Producer
        • Feb 2006
        • 6317

        #4
        Re: Two Poems - Silence and Religion

        heh gotcha... I'm not an atheist so that's not what I'm going for, but I see your point. I was kinda trying to imitate the Apostle's Creed, slowly disintegrating, but I can see how it could be construed as childish.
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IREnpHco9mw

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        • rzr
          TWG Veteran
          • Oct 2007
          • 7608

          #5
          Re: Two Poems - Silence and Religion

          Either they're really deep or really shallow. I understood the first one. The second just seemed like you were ranting. Perhaps a little specification in the second one would help it... Good, though.

          Originally posted by darkshark
          Everyone sucks at this game. The second you think you're good is the second you stop trying to get better.
          Originally posted by aperson
          i had a mri the other day it was the best song i heard in years

          Originally posted by Sprite-
          More of a joke than the time I deleted all the credits on the site.
          Originally posted by MinaciousGrace
          yeah my goldfish think im a riot they do this thing where they turn upside down and float to the top of the tank

          i guess their alcohol tolerance isnt as high as mine

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          • robertsona
            missa in h-moll
            FFR Simfile Author
            • Dec 2006
            • 3997

            #6
            Re: Two Poems - Silence and Religion

            Originally posted by Tokzic
            Science was a good read. I like the whole concept of raping Nature - interesting take.

            The Religion one was absolutely powerless and just came across to me like a bitter atheist with a sock puppet and a childish vendetta.

            note: i'm actually an atheist so don't pass this off as bias
            i completely agree with this basically.
            science was cool

            Comment

            • dore
              caveman pornstar
              FFR Simfile Author
              FFR Music Producer
              • Feb 2006
              • 6317

              #7
              Re: Two Poems - Silence and Religion

              The inspiration for this was a class discussion where we had a bunch of people talking about how great science is and then one stout Christian sitting in the corner, literally only saying "I don't believe in evolution, this is stupid." So I guess I can see how it reads as childish, but that's kinda because the situation that made me write that was acting childishly. I guess that's still not a good excuse since a) I should've gone deeper and b) you kinda need the perspective for it to make sense which is poor writing.

              Thanks for the feedback.
              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IREnpHco9mw

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