Untitled

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  • aperson
    FFR Hall of Fame
    FFR Simfile Author
    • Jul 2003
    • 3431

    #1

    Untitled

    Wake up.
    You've been dead since you were born
    like a fancy rock with sensors and emotions
    if you are kicked off of a hill you will roll

    You've been dead since you were born
    that's okay
    because in death is life
    in death is an infinite expanse of
    data

    And the data come in waves
    and the waves come in waves
    and the waves swell into swells
    until you are distracted
    drifting aimlessly in a sea of seas a sea of seas a sea of seas a sea of seas a sea of seas a sea of seas

    But don't open your eye
    Not the eye that senses the world
    The eye that senses the eye

    Because then the waves turn into waves
    And there's nothing to distract you

    In death is only death


    Close your eye
    Go back to sleep.

  • rzr
    TWG Veteran
    • Oct 2007
    • 7608

    #2
    Re: Untitled

    What's your motive to writing this?

    Originally posted by darkshark
    Everyone sucks at this game. The second you think you're good is the second you stop trying to get better.
    Originally posted by aperson
    i had a mri the other day it was the best song i heard in years

    Originally posted by Sprite-
    More of a joke than the time I deleted all the credits on the site.
    Originally posted by MinaciousGrace
    yeah my goldfish think im a riot they do this thing where they turn upside down and float to the top of the tank

    i guess their alcohol tolerance isnt as high as mine

    Comment

    • MalReynolds
      CHOCK FULL O' NUTRIENTS
      • Sep 2003
      • 6571

      #3
      Re: Untitled

      The only part I found really, really clever is reading the line about getting distracted, and then you put a line where it's very easy to get distracted by it right after.

      It's not as good as the one you posted like... two years ago, or something, but it's good. Better than most of the stuff on here anyway.

      EDIT: And your concept of a fourth eye has me slightly confused. So it's the eye that senses the eye that acts as a gate to our inner realms. Which is an odd concept.

      DOUBLE EDIT: I find the specialized knowledge one must have to understand your poems to be highly off-putting to the actual, genuine enjoyment of such pieces. Too esoteric for my liking, but well written.
      Last edited by MalReynolds; 10-23-2008, 12:00 PM.
      "A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline."

      "Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor


      My new novel:

      Maledictions: The Offering.

      Now in Paperback!

      Comment

      • aperson
        FFR Hall of Fame
        FFR Simfile Author
        • Jul 2003
        • 3431

        #4
        Re: Untitled

        To the edit: The eye I'm referring to is just the third eye, the gate of consciousness, whatever it may be, in our brain. It's the ultimate area of association that takes input from our physical eyes (and our ears, etc...), but it has the odd property of being able to see itself.

        Comment

        • dore
          caveman pornstar
          FFR Simfile Author
          FFR Music Producer
          • Feb 2006
          • 6317

          #5
          Re: Untitled

          hahaha I like it... it's so true.
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IREnpHco9mw

          Comment

          • aperson
            FFR Hall of Fame
            FFR Simfile Author
            • Jul 2003
            • 3431

            #6
            Re: Untitled

            Originally posted by dore
            hahaha I like it... it's so true.
            The truth of that makes you laugh?

            I envy you

            Comment

            • dore
              caveman pornstar
              FFR Simfile Author
              FFR Music Producer
              • Feb 2006
              • 6317

              #7
              Re: Untitled

              I laugh because there's nothing I can do about it.
              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IREnpHco9mw

              Comment

              • MooMoo_Cowfreak
                Abraxas Hydroplane
                • May 2006
                • 1746

                #8
                Re: Untitled

                For some reason this reminded me of the song at the end of Portal.
                Originally posted by hi19hi19
                dumps abstractly represent the song with arrows

                post-dumps abstractly represent the existential nihilism that the song invokes in the listener with negative space, evoking the ephemeral nature of the mind - the journey of stepmania begins in hope yet soon becomes corroded into a dialectic of futility, leaving only a sense of dread and the unlikelihood of a new synthesis

                Comment

                • Necros140606
                  FFR Player
                  • Jun 2006
                  • 1088

                  #9
                  Re: Untitled

                  this is the kind of composition i like the most. it's a shame that i couldn't understand it completely, but if this is meant to be an allegory of life, and the distractions are our made-up reasons to live, then good. i'm on the same boat.

                  Comment

                  • kailure
                    bzzt
                    FFR Simfile Author
                    • Jun 2006
                    • 228

                    #10
                    Re: Untitled

                    Necros

                    Comment

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