People of FFR, I hereby present to you a story that begins with an amusement park and ends with the delicate merging of silent cinema and juvenile Youtube humor. (If you don't give two craps about the story behind the vid, just click the link at the bottom and experience the magnifi-awesomeness.)
A few weeks ago, my buddies Mike and Tom and I went to Cedar Point (the world's best amusement park, don't ya know.) Now, I can handle pretty much any thrill ride imaginable, however, some of my friends do not possess the same testicular fortitude. This led to a somewhat unfortunate situation last year, when I wanted to go on the Top Thrill Dragster, but nobody wanted to go with me. I ended up standing on line for an hour and a half ALONE, while my friends went off in search of rides that were easier to handle. Punks.
Well, a year passed, and my buddies decided that on the next time out, they would face their fears and go on anything. While I trusted that they would keep to their word, I felt that some extra precautions should be taken (especially since last year, my friend Mike said he was "excited" to go on the Top Thrill... until we arrived in the park and he wussed out.) So, my friend Tom came up with the idea of a contract, which stated that if anyone punks out of going on a ride, they would recieve a vigorous smack upside the head. As the day of the trip drew nearer, Tom suggested the punishment be upgraded to a swift kick in the nuts. The contract was eventually written on a crumpled piece of yellow note paper and signed by all parties. (I was definitely not riding alone this year.)
So, the big day comes, and to my surprise, Mike and Tom actually join me when I go on the Top Thrill. In fact, when the ride is over, they say that they had an awesome time. Astounding. So, nut-wise, it looks like they're in the clear, until we hit the Max Air... and Mike refuses to go on. (The Max Air, for those who don't know, is a large rotating swing ride. I find it to be the most calming ride in the park, BTW.) Tom and I are quite surprised, considering he rode with on everything else (and I mean EVERYTHING, inculding the 420-FOOT-TALL Top Thrill) and we implore him to reconsider, reminding him of the consequences that face him should he decide not to ride. Amazingly he stands his ground, and doesn't ride with us.
Well, you know what's coming up next... (Hey, a contract's a contract.)
Anyway, 2 days ago, the guys and me meet up again and we decide it is time for Mike to pay the piper. (This is all in the name of science, mind you.) Since we realize this is an opportunity that can't be missed, we decide to set up my webcam in my basement to capture the hilarity. With everything set up, Mike stands in front of the camera, legs spread, awaiting contract fulfillment.
(I should remind the readers at this point that Mike never had to promise or sign anything. If he didn't want to ride everything, he shouldn't have committed himself and raised all our hopes.
...
Yeah, I know. We're still dicks.)
Now, here's where things get a little bit odd.
Just for fun, I decide to add some dialogue to an otherwise bland guy-gets-hit-in-nuts video. It was something along the lines of: "Lovely day we're having. I was just having a glass of Chardonnay with Bridget on the veranda when all of a sudden... -KICK!-" And, for some extra fun, I decided to wear a top hat and shades while administering the foot-related punishment.
And so we recorded. And it was hilarious. Painful, but hilarious.
Amused and satisfied, I go back to watch the vid on my laptop, when I notice that somehow the audio didn't get recorded. This was a disaster! My dialogue, Mike's screams, Tom's laughter and applause, all gone! And rerecording was simply not an option; I wasn't about to make Mike relive the horror a second time. (We're not THAT heartless.) It seemed like a beautiful opportunity had been flushed down the drain forever. But I wasn't about to give up on this movie. It was too precious not to save.
So, in a moment of creative genius, I decide to re-edit the video in the style of a Chaplin-esque silent movie (why not?), thereby combining the timeless charm of black-and-white silent cinema with the cheap laughs of ADD-fueled Youtube humor. Some video effects, piano music, and random dialogue later, it was finished. And it was beautiful. Truly, it was greater than the sum of it's parts. And by greater, I mean stupider.
I hereby present - A Nutshot for Brother Michael
(So whaddya think, should I start on a serious film career?)
A few weeks ago, my buddies Mike and Tom and I went to Cedar Point (the world's best amusement park, don't ya know.) Now, I can handle pretty much any thrill ride imaginable, however, some of my friends do not possess the same testicular fortitude. This led to a somewhat unfortunate situation last year, when I wanted to go on the Top Thrill Dragster, but nobody wanted to go with me. I ended up standing on line for an hour and a half ALONE, while my friends went off in search of rides that were easier to handle. Punks.
Well, a year passed, and my buddies decided that on the next time out, they would face their fears and go on anything. While I trusted that they would keep to their word, I felt that some extra precautions should be taken (especially since last year, my friend Mike said he was "excited" to go on the Top Thrill... until we arrived in the park and he wussed out.) So, my friend Tom came up with the idea of a contract, which stated that if anyone punks out of going on a ride, they would recieve a vigorous smack upside the head. As the day of the trip drew nearer, Tom suggested the punishment be upgraded to a swift kick in the nuts. The contract was eventually written on a crumpled piece of yellow note paper and signed by all parties. (I was definitely not riding alone this year.)
So, the big day comes, and to my surprise, Mike and Tom actually join me when I go on the Top Thrill. In fact, when the ride is over, they say that they had an awesome time. Astounding. So, nut-wise, it looks like they're in the clear, until we hit the Max Air... and Mike refuses to go on. (The Max Air, for those who don't know, is a large rotating swing ride. I find it to be the most calming ride in the park, BTW.) Tom and I are quite surprised, considering he rode with on everything else (and I mean EVERYTHING, inculding the 420-FOOT-TALL Top Thrill) and we implore him to reconsider, reminding him of the consequences that face him should he decide not to ride. Amazingly he stands his ground, and doesn't ride with us.
Well, you know what's coming up next... (Hey, a contract's a contract.)
Anyway, 2 days ago, the guys and me meet up again and we decide it is time for Mike to pay the piper. (This is all in the name of science, mind you.) Since we realize this is an opportunity that can't be missed, we decide to set up my webcam in my basement to capture the hilarity. With everything set up, Mike stands in front of the camera, legs spread, awaiting contract fulfillment.
(I should remind the readers at this point that Mike never had to promise or sign anything. If he didn't want to ride everything, he shouldn't have committed himself and raised all our hopes.
...
Yeah, I know. We're still dicks.)
Now, here's where things get a little bit odd.
Just for fun, I decide to add some dialogue to an otherwise bland guy-gets-hit-in-nuts video. It was something along the lines of: "Lovely day we're having. I was just having a glass of Chardonnay with Bridget on the veranda when all of a sudden... -KICK!-" And, for some extra fun, I decided to wear a top hat and shades while administering the foot-related punishment.
And so we recorded. And it was hilarious. Painful, but hilarious.
Amused and satisfied, I go back to watch the vid on my laptop, when I notice that somehow the audio didn't get recorded. This was a disaster! My dialogue, Mike's screams, Tom's laughter and applause, all gone! And rerecording was simply not an option; I wasn't about to make Mike relive the horror a second time. (We're not THAT heartless.) It seemed like a beautiful opportunity had been flushed down the drain forever. But I wasn't about to give up on this movie. It was too precious not to save.
So, in a moment of creative genius, I decide to re-edit the video in the style of a Chaplin-esque silent movie (why not?), thereby combining the timeless charm of black-and-white silent cinema with the cheap laughs of ADD-fueled Youtube humor. Some video effects, piano music, and random dialogue later, it was finished. And it was beautiful. Truly, it was greater than the sum of it's parts. And by greater, I mean stupider.
I hereby present - A Nutshot for Brother Michael
(So whaddya think, should I start on a serious film career?)
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