another poem bye mee!! plz read

Re: another poem bye mee!! plz read

Please try to use proper grammar things like "pple" "cuz" and "juz" are frowned apon in FFR fourms.

Re: another poem bye mee!! plz read

okay then

Re: another poem bye mee!! plz read

I read the first line and stopped.

And then I made myself start again.

I made it to the third line the second time.

...

Since I'm now combating this on two fronts, another poem I wrote as a teenager dealt with a mercenary who was destined to repeat the same assasination job over and over again, for no real purpose. He would constantly ride to a wedding, slay the entire party, take his gold, and ride off into the distance, where he would encounter the same wedding, the same people, the same prize, and he would feel compelled to do it again.

Do you know what that was about?

It was a non-linear metaphor for how I viewed my father, who hated his job.

I'm not even a good poet and I try to gussy stuff up, use creative imagery. What you're doing is not writing poetry. It's writing self absorbed rants. There's nothing wrong with that, it's a perfectly expressive form of art, but it's just tiresome. Try out some new material. Write a poem about the sun, or something. It doesn't have to be happy, but it doesn't have to be completely dark and despondent.

Re: another poem bye mee!! plz read

I think you're trying too hard, personally. Instead of posting variations on a theme, try varying the theme, like Mal suggested. At the very least, try using some imagery. If you found yourself writing about a football game, for example, try comparing how a running back needs blockers in front of him to how anyone can sometimes need help to find opportunities to do what they do best.

Another approach is to try using meter. I would suggest the classic iambic pentameter; once I got the hang of it, I found I couldn't stop listening for it in everyday life to see just how often people use it without realizing it and to get more grist for the mill, so to speak.

One more thing: Maybe you should take some writing classes. An English teacher will encourage you to write about a number of topics that don't suggest you like to cut yourself. Hell, my first foray into the wider world of poetry was a Shakespearean sonnet involving a casual observer watching the ancient formation of Stonehenge being destroyed in a natural disaster. Probably because it was written in the first month after 9/11, it also includes some observations about how some people wait for the right time to victimize the unready and how sometimes you need to fight to reach your goals. (I still have the original, complete with written commentary from my English teacher and some video game codes scrawled on the back.)

Good luck with writing better poetry.

Re: another poem bye mee!! plz read

Why didn't you just add this on to your OTHER ACTIVE TOPIC, hm? Also, your friend's are better.