It's 3AM; I'm falling into a state of sleep.
Feeling alone, relying on memories I'll always keep.
Thoughts racing through my mind, mainly of you.
As I fall deeper, emotions course through.
My eyes spring open, to the side of my bed,
I notice you there, sheltered in sheets of red.
Your eyes are closed; I wonder what you're dreaming.
Yet it's so silent, I feel like screaming.
I can't follow the pattern of your breathing anymore,
Random and scattered, like confused waves upon the shore.
A cold hand lies upon my naked chest,
A lonely touch, deprived of breath.
My eyes fall closed again, now all is black,
So peaceful and numb; I don't want to go back.
Soon enough, my eyes gently open,
The room silent still, with no words spoken.
My chest is warm now, as I look down to the touch,
Where my own hand lies, deprived so much.
My breathing is labored, my eyes burn with tears,
As if I've gone through this for countless years.
My bed is empty, except for my own body's place,
You're not here--it hurts--and my heart starts to race.
The sheets are pulled back, as if you left me that night,
but a second look confirms that I am not right.
The bed is made as it was, and I'm standing on the floor,
Unsure if I'm able to take anymore.
I turn on my phone and try to call you,
and with each continuous ring, my doubts become true.
As your answering machine sounds, your voice pierces through,
You're with her, and you're laughing too.
You can't come to the phone right now, and it's obvious why.
Unlike me, you're having a good time.
You have a partner to kiss, a body to hold,
I'm here alone, and so damn cold.
The tone sounds, and I immediately hang up,
Then I fall to the floor, incredibly abrupt.
It's pointless, I know, but I keep on trying,
But I couldn't realize, that at the moment, I was dying.
"I love you..." I whispered, all though it didn't matter,
Waiting for a scream to destroy and shatter.
The silence was broken, filled with ambient screams,
Although reality differs from what it seems.
I'm broken, I'm lost and deceived by your word.
With the pain triggered from each one heard.
It's over, I know it, I can sense it inside.
At this moment, I wished I had died.
I love you though, and I will no matter how much you love her.
And I'm not doubting this, and I am not unsure.
So the next words you say to me, or the next time you call,
Just think of how hard I will fall.
When you lie to me again, the tears that will come,
In hopes that maybe you'll try to get some.
Please remember, and acknowledge that this is real, and can't be changed.
No matter how your schedule with her may be arranged.
And when she leaves you, I won't be here,
Because this is surely my final year.
So goodbye, my love, I hope your memories last you well,
And still your secrets, I did not ever tell.
Not exactly sure what this all means, and I know its not that good, but I just wanted to get it out anyways.
EDIT: I do expect criticism as well :]
Feeling alone, relying on memories I'll always keep.
Thoughts racing through my mind, mainly of you.
As I fall deeper, emotions course through.
My eyes spring open, to the side of my bed,
I notice you there, sheltered in sheets of red.
Your eyes are closed; I wonder what you're dreaming.
Yet it's so silent, I feel like screaming.
I can't follow the pattern of your breathing anymore,
Random and scattered, like confused waves upon the shore.
A cold hand lies upon my naked chest,
A lonely touch, deprived of breath.
My eyes fall closed again, now all is black,
So peaceful and numb; I don't want to go back.
Soon enough, my eyes gently open,
The room silent still, with no words spoken.
My chest is warm now, as I look down to the touch,
Where my own hand lies, deprived so much.
My breathing is labored, my eyes burn with tears,
As if I've gone through this for countless years.
My bed is empty, except for my own body's place,
You're not here--it hurts--and my heart starts to race.
The sheets are pulled back, as if you left me that night,
but a second look confirms that I am not right.
The bed is made as it was, and I'm standing on the floor,
Unsure if I'm able to take anymore.
I turn on my phone and try to call you,
and with each continuous ring, my doubts become true.
As your answering machine sounds, your voice pierces through,
You're with her, and you're laughing too.
You can't come to the phone right now, and it's obvious why.
Unlike me, you're having a good time.
You have a partner to kiss, a body to hold,
I'm here alone, and so damn cold.
The tone sounds, and I immediately hang up,
Then I fall to the floor, incredibly abrupt.
It's pointless, I know, but I keep on trying,
But I couldn't realize, that at the moment, I was dying.
"I love you..." I whispered, all though it didn't matter,
Waiting for a scream to destroy and shatter.
The silence was broken, filled with ambient screams,
Although reality differs from what it seems.
I'm broken, I'm lost and deceived by your word.
With the pain triggered from each one heard.
It's over, I know it, I can sense it inside.
At this moment, I wished I had died.
I love you though, and I will no matter how much you love her.
And I'm not doubting this, and I am not unsure.
So the next words you say to me, or the next time you call,
Just think of how hard I will fall.
When you lie to me again, the tears that will come,
In hopes that maybe you'll try to get some.
Please remember, and acknowledge that this is real, and can't be changed.
No matter how your schedule with her may be arranged.
And when she leaves you, I won't be here,
Because this is surely my final year.
So goodbye, my love, I hope your memories last you well,
And still your secrets, I did not ever tell.
Not exactly sure what this all means, and I know its not that good, but I just wanted to get it out anyways.
EDIT: I do expect criticism as well :]
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