Oh, Just A Few Songs I've Written

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  • rzr
    TWG Veteran
    • Oct 2007
    • 7608

    #1

    Oh, Just A Few Songs I've Written

    I put them here rather than Muscian's Jungle Gym because I have not put music to them, nor do I have a way to.

    Soldier At Sixteen:

    Sling my rifle over my shoulder
    and my canteen on my back
    stick some rations in my bag
    and pick up my nap sack

    grab a bag, a blade, some rope
    and kiss my girl goodbye
    start on walking towards that bus
    say "baby, be strong, don't cry"

    I'm going off into the war
    I won't be turning back no more
    not knowing what I've seen
    I'm a soldier at just sixteen

    Load my gun with bullets
    and load my heart with hate
    I see my enemeies hit the ground
    man that feeling's great

    I see my buddies all fall down
    a bullet sunk in their head
    and though their stringbodies don't move
    their spirits just aint dead

    I'm going off into the war
    I won't be turning back no more
    not knowing what I've seen
    I'm a soldier at just sixteen

    laying on the battleground
    and I'm screaming for my mom
    ****, the medic just aint comine
    killed by a suicide bomb

    now there's a barrel at my head
    and a tan man laughing down
    hes gonna put that shot through my head
    as I'm lying on the ground

    I'm going off into the war
    I won't be turning back no more
    not knowing what I've seen
    I'm a soldier at just sixteen
    I'm a soldier at just sixteen
    I'm a soldier at just sixteen

    How To Make A Memory

    When you see the footsteps
    behind you, interlodep with mine
    you know we've made a memory
    another star in the sky

    when you see a note in your locker
    with hearts all over it
    you know we've made a memory
    preparing for that kiss

    when our lips pasrt, our eyes open
    our bodies pull away
    you know we've made a memory
    in our heart's to stay

    when you see the strings of love
    that bind our souls together
    you know we've made a memory
    now let it last forever

    when you see our names written in the sand
    and the water washes it away
    you knwo we've made a memore
    of a single greatest day

    when I see you giggle
    at the joke I just made
    You know we've made a memore
    it's ont I'd never trade

    when you read this song
    and flash a smile
    you know we've made a memory
    one that's worth the while

    Cupid's Final Hour

    he had a heart
    he used it well
    but one day
    it wouold swell
    his heart would throb
    and split in two
    only becuase
    he lost you

    his bow would drop
    and hit the ground
    his wings fell off
    and hit the ground

    he his the ground
    and he grew up
    our silent love
    would not shut up

    she left his life
    he lost his soul
    and his heart
    grew moss and mold

    his broken heart
    just would not hold
    now it's black
    it once was gold

    he grew his hair
    and drank a beer
    dried his cheeks
    said no more tears

    went to a store
    got a guitar
    left his home
    to play afar

    he formed a band
    called Broken Death
    and got a bag
    of crystal meth

    cupid dies
    in his room
    his flower dead
    though once did bloom

    it was a rose
    of many thorns
    but now h e's dead
    the rose is torn

    now no more love
    cuz' cupid's dead
    turning bright souls
    to bloody red

    Heaven Is A Place I Call Your Arm's

    I walk up to you
    glance in your eyes
    you smile back
    that's no surprise

    the moon behind you
    shining bright
    and we know that
    tonight's the night

    a picnic lunch
    day in the sun
    the time with you
    is so much fun

    I grin a little
    and bluch inside
    grab your hands
    stand side by side

    I think the words
    and mouth them too
    no sound comes out
    what do I do?

    my eyes swell up
    a tear drops down
    drops like my heart
    and hits the ground

    I squeeze your hands
    my heart beats fast
    can I make
    this moment last?

    you ask what's wrong
    and I reply
    "I'm yours forever
    by your side

    I'll never leave you
    never let you go
    my soul will shine
    my heart will glow

    I'm always here
    right next to you
    to cheer you up
    when you feel blue

    they have a word
    for stuff like that
    do you know what it is?"

    "yes, I do
    I knwo what it is"

    my lips part, my mind goes blank
    I though of what to do
    and I just said those 3 small words
    baby "I love you."




    ****I knwo there's typos, I'll fix them when I feel like it.

    Originally posted by darkshark
    Everyone sucks at this game. The second you think you're good is the second you stop trying to get better.
    Originally posted by aperson
    i had a mri the other day it was the best song i heard in years

    Originally posted by Sprite-
    More of a joke than the time I deleted all the credits on the site.
    Originally posted by MinaciousGrace
    yeah my goldfish think im a riot they do this thing where they turn upside down and float to the top of the tank

    i guess their alcohol tolerance isnt as high as mine
  • championanwar
    Ask Nuro! x3
    FFR Simfile Author
    FFR Music Producer
    • Jun 2004
    • 2588

    #2
    Re: Oh, Just A Few Songs I've Written

    I quite liked them, especially
    How to make a memory, the lines flowed nicely and it had a nice feel to it.
    I liked the way all the poems didnt have rhyming words for the sake of having rhyming words, they actually made sense, and the poems were consistantly good..
    Good job man
    Last edited by championanwar; 07-13-2008, 07:17 AM.

    Originally posted by aperson
    all of 65dos are dumb an noticable because their idea of 7/8 is 4/4 with one beat cut off the end
    aperson: yo shikari if u c thom yorke
    aperson: plz tell him 2 start usin consonants again
    Click Here

    Comment

    • rzr
      TWG Veteran
      • Oct 2007
      • 7608

      #3
      Re: Oh, Just A Few Songs I've Written

      Thanks =]
      I was nervous, initially, about posting them on FFR. Well, I'll keep at it. Updating this thread and such.

      Originally posted by darkshark
      Everyone sucks at this game. The second you think you're good is the second you stop trying to get better.
      Originally posted by aperson
      i had a mri the other day it was the best song i heard in years

      Originally posted by Sprite-
      More of a joke than the time I deleted all the credits on the site.
      Originally posted by MinaciousGrace
      yeah my goldfish think im a riot they do this thing where they turn upside down and float to the top of the tank

      i guess their alcohol tolerance isnt as high as mine

      Comment

      • hoochan
        woah shrooms
        • Nov 2005
        • 3838

        #4
        Re: Oh, Just A Few Songs I've Written

        These are lyrics lol.

        Songs have music :P

        Also, I read some of the first one and it seems like it would fit in a rap.

        Comment

        • rzr
          TWG Veteran
          • Oct 2007
          • 7608

          #5
          Re: Oh, Just A Few Songs I've Written

          The first one, perhaps. The thing is, I despise rap. To an unhealthy standard. I would rather go an unnoticed, nothing than be a rapper. A few of my older lyrics have guitar music set to them, from when I was first learning.

          Originally posted by darkshark
          Everyone sucks at this game. The second you think you're good is the second you stop trying to get better.
          Originally posted by aperson
          i had a mri the other day it was the best song i heard in years

          Originally posted by Sprite-
          More of a joke than the time I deleted all the credits on the site.
          Originally posted by MinaciousGrace
          yeah my goldfish think im a riot they do this thing where they turn upside down and float to the top of the tank

          i guess their alcohol tolerance isnt as high as mine

          Comment

          • TheRapingDragon
            A car crash mind
            • Aug 2005
            • 9788

            #6
            Re: Oh, Just A Few Songs I've Written

            I always feel that lyrics and music goes hand in hand. Otherwise you are looking at things such as poetry.

            I say this because if the music complemented these lyrics then it could be awesome. If the music did not complement the lyrics then the lyrics could be dragged down to a substandard level.

            Overall I think you have the beginnings of lyrical writing, so keep it up, but try to find someone who can help put music to it and then I'll give a more thorough opinion.

            Comment

            • OMG its HIM
              FFR Player
              • Mar 2008
              • 667

              #7
              Re: Oh, Just A Few Songs I've Written

              cupids final hour made me tear up, i thought he never dies!!! jk thats a lesson to all of you young ones never do crystal meth.

              i like "how to make a memory" i flashed a smile!!!
              AAA-5
              FC's-102
              Best AAA-Pita
              Best FC-Piano Etude

              <He Got Laid
              Originally posted by djshox
              I will kill you.

              Comment

              • rzr
                TWG Veteran
                • Oct 2007
                • 7608

                #8
                Re: Oh, Just A Few Songs I've Written

                If anyone gets in contact with me who'd be interested I'm a lyricist and vocalist, if we could work something out.

                TheRapingDragon, I've written over 100 songs. Those are some of my most recent. What I'll do is use this thread to post them and get opinions. I really appreciate the feedback and critiquing of you and OMG its HIM. Without guys like you I wouldn't have anywhere to go with this.

                P.S. I'm regards to poetry, I can't stand the fact that I could be deemed a poet. I'm not sure why, I just hate it. That's why, even if I suck at playing guitar, I'll still set music to it if needed be.

                Originally posted by darkshark
                Everyone sucks at this game. The second you think you're good is the second you stop trying to get better.
                Originally posted by aperson
                i had a mri the other day it was the best song i heard in years

                Originally posted by Sprite-
                More of a joke than the time I deleted all the credits on the site.
                Originally posted by MinaciousGrace
                yeah my goldfish think im a riot they do this thing where they turn upside down and float to the top of the tank

                i guess their alcohol tolerance isnt as high as mine

                Comment

                • OMG its HIM
                  FFR Player
                  • Mar 2008
                  • 667

                  #9
                  Re: Oh, Just A Few Songs I've Written

                  my favoritte one on there is Heaven Is A Place I Call Your Arm's nice title, that really dragged me into reading, and it was a nice song.
                  AAA-5
                  FC's-102
                  Best AAA-Pita
                  Best FC-Piano Etude

                  <He Got Laid
                  Originally posted by djshox
                  I will kill you.

                  Comment

                  • rzr
                    TWG Veteran
                    • Oct 2007
                    • 7608

                    #10
                    Re: Oh, Just A Few Songs I've Written

                    Most people like that one. I did a little editing to it and How To Make A Memory before I posted them. Something I don't normally do, but the parts I took out sucked or made a part of it illogical.

                    Originally posted by darkshark
                    Everyone sucks at this game. The second you think you're good is the second you stop trying to get better.
                    Originally posted by aperson
                    i had a mri the other day it was the best song i heard in years

                    Originally posted by Sprite-
                    More of a joke than the time I deleted all the credits on the site.
                    Originally posted by MinaciousGrace
                    yeah my goldfish think im a riot they do this thing where they turn upside down and float to the top of the tank

                    i guess their alcohol tolerance isnt as high as mine

                    Comment

                    • Verruckter
                      FFR Player
                      • Apr 2004
                      • 2707

                      #11
                      Re: Oh, Just A Few Songs I've Written

                      I found most of those cheesy :\

                      Sorry, not my thing.
                      Truth lies in loneliness, When hope is long gone by -Blind Guardian, The Soulforged
                      Image removed for size violation.

                      Comment

                      • Cloud0005
                        FFR Player
                        • Nov 2007
                        • 1022

                        #12
                        Re: Oh, Just A Few Songs I've Written

                        really good!

                        Originally posted by Quigly
                        SHUT UP GUYZ HE HAS PROBLEMS!!!!!!

                        DIDN'T YOU READ HIS NAME??? HE CRIES AT NIGHT!!!!!

                        YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!

                        =o

                        Comment

                        • dood gone krazee
                          RATOOOOOOOOO
                          FFR Simfile Author
                          • May 2007
                          • 1939

                          #13
                          Re: Oh, Just A Few Songs I've Written

                          I really liked them, a lot.

                          I have a band. (well, sorta.) We're trying to get things going but its not happening. Bass player has ADD and can't sit still to practice for ten minutes, and the guitar player goes off doing his own thing after a little bit.

                          Ughh.

                          I would really use these in a song if I had a decent band. I'm a drum player, so I kinda need a band or it won't work.
                          -4th Official Tournament Expert Divison Champion-

                          Originally posted by Sir_Thomas
                          Dood... you done gone got yourself krazee.
                          Originally posted by robertsona
                          I hear back in 12 AD Jesus Himself sent an FGO to Tass and it got a 9 by JX

                          "[++] 9/10
                          Very good file but not japanese enough ps hi jesus"

                          Comment

                          • Trogdor!!!!
                            Forum User
                            • Jul 2008
                            • 1664

                            #14
                            Re: Oh, Just A Few Songs I've Written

                            I loved them =)
                            Violets Forever

                            Comment

                            • rzr
                              TWG Veteran
                              • Oct 2007
                              • 7608

                              #15
                              Re: Oh, Just A Few Songs I've Written

                              A band, you say? Where do you live?

                              Originally posted by darkshark
                              Everyone sucks at this game. The second you think you're good is the second you stop trying to get better.
                              Originally posted by aperson
                              i had a mri the other day it was the best song i heard in years

                              Originally posted by Sprite-
                              More of a joke than the time I deleted all the credits on the site.
                              Originally posted by MinaciousGrace
                              yeah my goldfish think im a riot they do this thing where they turn upside down and float to the top of the tank

                              i guess their alcohol tolerance isnt as high as mine

                              Comment

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