How does a rhyme scheme like this sound?

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  • FallenXxRaven
    FFR Player
    • Apr 2007
    • 380
    #1

    How does a rhyme scheme like this sound?

    I don't quite have a poem for this yet but here is something.

    I lift my bow and take aim(A)
    And quickly release my string(B)
    The arrow takes flight(C) deep into the night(C)
    And hits the villian with a sting(B)
    Then I ride into town and gather my fame(A)
    Chris Huntress 1:37 pm
    I aaa'd vROFL
    without any lube
    Tags: None
    • igotrhythm
      Fractals!
      • Sep 2004
      • 6535
      #2
      Re: How does a rhyme scheme like this sound?

      It'd probably be more impressive if you used iambic pentameter or something, though it'd be kind of hard with how you've got that third line set up.
      Originally posted by thesunfan
      I literally spent 10 minutes in the library looking for the TWG forum on Smogon and couldn't find it what the fuck is this witchcraft IGR

        Comment

        • FallenXxRaven
          FFR Player
          • Apr 2007
          • 380
          #3
          Re: How does a rhyme scheme like this sound?

          Well thats not anywhere near what i intend to write, that poem was just to show the rhyme schme
          Chris Huntress 1:37 pm
          I aaa'd vROFL
          without any lube

            Comment

            • xXDominationxLyfexX
              FFR Player
              • Apr 2008
              • 344
              #4
              Re: How does a rhyme scheme like this sound?

              Rhyme scheme is good.


              Originally posted by Tasselfoot
              [1:39:07 PM] synthlight says: The answer is.. because version .786 has a sun in it.
              [1:39:23 PM] Tasselfoot says: i don't get it.
              [1:39:37 PM] synthlight says: you are not supposed to.

                Comment

                • GamerShadow
                  FFR Player
                  • Oct 2005
                  • 2534
                  #5
                  Re: How does a rhyme scheme like this sound?

                  I would imagine that line three could be split into two different lines in order to preserve meter and such, but otherwise, it was fine.
                  Note to self Finish.

                    Comment

                    • infinity.
                      FFR Veteran
                      • Sep 2007
                      • 1701
                      #6
                      Re: How does a rhyme scheme like this sound?

                      If i were you, i'd end on B.
                      signatures are for nerds

                      nerds

                        Comment

                        • dore
                          caveman pornstar
                          FFR Simfile Author
                          FFR Music Producer
                          • Feb 2006
                          • 6317
                          #7
                          Re: How does a rhyme scheme like this sound?

                          The rhyme scheme is fine (I think ABCCAB would flow slightly better). More consistent rhythm is more crucial ATM (I assume you'll fix that in the finished product).
                          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IREnpHco9mw

                            Comment

                            • devonin
                              Very Grave Indeed
                              Event Staff
                              FFR Simfile Author
                              • Apr 2004
                              • 10120
                              #8
                              Re: How does a rhyme scheme like this sound?

                              Change the B to an A and you have a limerick.

                                Comment

                                • FallenXxRaven
                                  FFR Player
                                  • Apr 2007
                                  • 380
                                  #9
                                  Re: How does a rhyme scheme like this sound?

                                  Well ont he subject of limericks here are 2 rather humorous yet somewhat inapropriate limericks i heard and one i wroteEXPLICIT CONTENT IN THIS POST
                                  There once was a man from Nantucket
                                  His d**k was so long he could suck it
                                  He said with a grin as he wiped his chin
                                  "If my ear were a c*** I would **** it"

                                  There once was a man from Rashine
                                  He rented a jerk-off machine
                                  21st stroke, the f**king thing broke
                                  And whipped his balls into cream

                                  And one i came up with:
                                  There once was a man from Nantucket
                                  Put a gun to his head and said **** it
                                  A red musket ball, his brains on the wall
                                  Conviently fell into a bucket
                                  **also i cant tell whether in or into fits the rythm better. I have been thinking about it both ways and sometimes one fits and sometimes the other does**
                                  And for those scrolling up from my origional post
                                  EXPLICIT CONTENT IN THIS POST
                                  Last edited by FallenXxRaven; 05-1-2008, 07:27 PM.
                                  Chris Huntress 1:37 pm
                                  I aaa'd vROFL
                                  without any lube

                                    Comment

                                    • dore
                                      caveman pornstar
                                      FFR Simfile Author
                                      FFR Music Producer
                                      • Feb 2006
                                      • 6317
                                      #10
                                      Re: How does a rhyme scheme like this sound?

                                      In works better unless you want it to be "fell 'nto a bucket."
                                      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IREnpHco9mw

                                        Comment

                                        • indigo23
                                          FFR Player
                                          • Dec 2004
                                          • 104
                                          #11
                                          Re: How does a rhyme scheme like this sound?

                                          With the ABCCBA scheme it seems to drop off too suddenly at the end. Maybe try something else that flows a bit better?


                                          mY hOPES aRE sO hIGH tHAT yOUR kISS mIGHT kILL mE
                                          sO wON'T yOU kILL mE, sO i dIE hAPPY
                                          mY hEART iS yOURS tO fILL oR bURST, tO bREAK oR bURY, oR wEAR aS jEWELRY
                                          wHICHEVER yOU pREFER

                                            Comment

                                            • Frozen Beat
                                              coLSBMidday, zerg sc2 pro
                                              • Nov 2007
                                              • 1092
                                              #12
                                              Re: How does a rhyme scheme like this sound?

                                              Originally posted by FallenXxRaven
                                              Well ont he subject of limericks here are 2 rather humorous yet somewhat inapropriate limericks i heard and one i wroteEXPLICIT CONTENT IN THIS POST
                                              There once was a man from Nantucket
                                              His d**k was so long he could suck it
                                              He said with a grin as he wiped his chin
                                              "If my ear were a c*** I would **** it"

                                              There once was a man from Rashine
                                              He rented a jerk-off machine
                                              21st stroke, the f**king thing broke
                                              And whipped his balls into cream

                                              And one i came up with:
                                              There once was a man from Nantucket
                                              Put a gun to his head and said **** it
                                              A red musket ball, his brains on the wall
                                              Conviently fell into a bucket
                                              **also i cant tell whether in or into fits the rythm better. I have been thinking about it both ways and sometimes one fits and sometimes the other does**
                                              And for those scrolling up from my origional post
                                              EXPLICIT CONTENT IN THIS POST
                                              Smashing...

                                              It's always nice for it to be funny.

                                              And try not to make it cheesy(I'm definetly not saying that yours is cheesy).

                                              Feel several different pains, before they're colored pure red
                                              Make a little chance! Start connecting us into to tomorrow, ready and go!
                                              No matter how many times I keep going down, in these unending rounds
                                              I'm gonna keep up! We can create hope, it's our story!

                                                Comment

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